The tearing pain and the harsh screech of metal were Lin Yu'an's last memories. He remembered the truck, the container that lost control and fell, and the terrified screams around him.
"Buzz." Suddenly Lin Yu'an sat bolt upright in bed, chest heaving, cold sweat beading on his forehead. The ceiling above him seemed both strange and familiar. He looked around. Cheap IKEA‑style furniture and a few hefty English textbooks scattered on the desk. Is this… his and Arya's first apartment?
Confusion hit him. Hadn't he been crushed by a falling container while riding a motorcycle in Montana, trying to escape the Immigration Bureau? He reached for his body. No pain. No blood. All his limbs intact.
He groped for his phone. With trembling hands he grabbed the iPhone X still on the charger and turned it on. Saturday, June 12, 2020, 11:30 a.m. The lock screen showed a smiling blonde girl against a vast blue sky and fields of bluebonnets common in Texas.
Lin Yu'an's pupils shrank. He had been reborn. He had returned to his senior year studying abroad in America. The pandemic had not yet happened. Arya… Arya was still alive.
That date. That moment.
"Fuck!"
A beastly roar tore from his throat. His heart felt squeezed by an invisible fist. He could barely breathe. He had been sent back to the moment he could never forgive himself for.
"ARYA!"
Lin Yu'an leapt from the bed like a madman, not even bothering to put on a jacket. He grabbed his car keys and phone and bolted out the door.
He nearly scrambled into his second‑hand Ford pickup. He floored the accelerator. The engine roared and he shot toward the suburbs. Texas roads were wide and straight, but every second felt like a century. Arya's cold face in the morgue from his previous life replayed over and over in his mind, a knife that kept cutting into his heart.
He barked a command at Siri to call Arya, but at that critical moment the call would not connect. Panic and memory took over. He replayed every detail of his past life with Arya.
A few months after their marriage- Arya had called him, voice trembling with unease and joy, to tell him she was pregnant with twins. Those children had been so precious. Arya loved them and planned to raise them even if she had to do it alone. Lin Yu'an had been silent for a long time after that call.
Flashbacks of his childhood scrolled through his mind. He was going to be a father. Listening to his silence, Arya had begun to cry softly. She insisted it was fine; she would raise the children herself if he could not be there.
"No, Arya. Hear me. I'm happy," he had said, choking on the words. "I'm just not sure I'm qualified to be a good father."
Arya laughed through her tears and praised him- so smart, brave, considerate, and best of all, a decent Chinese cook. He'd make a wonderful father. He had imagined a happy life unfolding.
Then came the gunfire. Intense, concentrated shots erupted at the Little Ladybug mother‑and‑baby Supermarket where Arya worked. In his previous life he only learned of the attack after his phone finally charged to 100 percent. The cheap charger took about three hours to fill the battery; he had left the dorm with eighty percent, meaning he needed to reach Arya within half an hour.
"Faster! Faster!" he shouted, eyes bloodshot, pressing the pedal as if speed alone could turn back time. He remembered how Arya had risked everything for him. In the past he had secretly taken a kitchen job at a popular Chinese restaurant to earn extra money using his cooking skills. A dispute with a kitchen helper led to a report to the Immigration Bureau.
A cold notice from immigration declared his F‑1 student status at risk for "unauthorized employment." The international students office at Texas Tech could not help. Graduation was within reach, but that stain threatened to have him deported and ruin his future. Just when all hope seemed lost, Arya- his partner from a freshman project group- had calmly said, "Let's marry. You can get a green card."
She had worried he might doubt her motives, so she gave a small confession of her own: she had been won over by his warmth-this "nice guy." Living with him felt right. The thought of a life together made Lin Yu'an tear up.
Under his reckless driving, the cheerful ladybug sign of the Little Ladybug Supermarket finally came into view. He jerked the wheel and skidded to a stop at the entrance. He barely shut off the engine before swinging the door open and rushing inside.
Soft music played as usual. Young mothers pushed strollers, played with infants, and picked out items. Everything looked normal, peaceful. He ignored the startled looks and scanned the store like a radar, heart searing in his chest like it was being boiled alive.
Finally, among the display of baby bedding, he saw the figure that had haunted his dreams and nightmares.
It was her. Arya stood with her back to him, tall and slender, golden hair catching the light. She held a soft pale yellow baby blanket, fingertips brushing the fabric, her face full of maternal warmth. This was a moment he had never had a chance to savor in his past life, yet it had returned to him in countless midnight dreams.
Time froze. All the noise and fear vanished the instant he saw her safe. "Arya-!" His voice broke, raw with trembling joy and terror. He did not dare blink, afraid it would vanish like an illusion before death swallowed him again.
Arya turned at the sound. When her light green eyes met his, joy lit up her face instantly. "Honey, why are you here?"