I told myself it would be fine.
Just a normal opening.
Some burgers, some fries, a few curious adventurers. Nothing to panic about.
Then I unlocked the door and immediately regretted every life decision I'd ever made.
The moment I flipped the "OPEN" sign, the Goblin Coupon Gang stormed the restaurant like it was a battlefield.
"FREE BURGERS FOR EVERYONE WHO BREATHES!" Globby bellowed, tossing coupons into the street. The coupons weren't even valid. Half of them just had doodles of burgers and the words "BUY STUFF."
Within minutes, the place was packed.
Three adventurers (clearly broke, judging by their duct-taped armor) argued over whether fries were included in the combo meal.
A pair of skeletons ordered ramen but tried to eat it without mouths. The broth just poured onto the floor.
A slime bounced up to the counter and asked if we had sugar-free options.
And all the while, my new hire stood there smiling, absolutely perfect.
"Welcome to Hanseok's Diner" she said sweetly, handing out trays like an angel descended from heaven.
"Enjoy your meal!"
The adventurers stared at her like she was made of gold. Even the skeletons somehow managed to look flustered.
I, meanwhile, was already sweating through my shirt.
Step-dad sat in the corner, arms crossed, glaring at every customer.
"They'll never last" he muttered.
Then he ordered another burger.
Mom fluttered between tables, cheerfully wiping things down.
"Oh, don't mind the bones, dear. I'll sweep those up!" she told the skeletons.
My sister? Yeah, she was livestreaming it again.
"Day one of my brother's bad business decisions" she said into the camera. "Place your bets on how long before he cries."
The Goblin Gang started a chant:
"ONE OF US! ONE OF US! TIP JAR! TIP JAR!"
They had stolen the tip jar and were shaking it at customers like a weapon.
Through all this, my new employee never broke her stride. She moved like a pro: refilling drinks, calming down the slime, explaining the menu to confused adventurers.
At one point she leaned toward me, hair brushing my shoulder, and whispered,
"You're amazing, Boss. This place is going to be huge."
My brain short-circuited. "Uh, uh, yeah, it's just burgers..."
"Just burgers?" she giggled. "Boss, you're changing lives."
Behind us, a goblin was choking on a pickle.
Lives.
Sure.
Just as things were reaching a boiling point, the air shimmered.
The Dungeon appeared in the middle of the diner.
Every single customer froze. Forks, mugs, bones, even the slime, all motionless.
The Dungeon looked around, confused. "What… what is this?"
"Grand opening" I said weakly.
The Dungeon blinked at the neon sign above the counter, then at the goblins in paper hats, then at the skeletons gnawing fries despite having no stomachs.
"I... didn't authorize... this."
Mom rushed forward, smiling.
"Oh! Welcome! Are you here for the burger combo? It comes with a drink!"
The Dungeon recoiled like she'd been stabbed. "N-no, i, excuse me
..." and vanished in a flicker of light.
The whole diner exhaled at once.
The skeletons went back to dropping ramen through their ribs.
The slime asked for ketchup.
The adventurers argued about coupons again.
And me?
I realized I had survived the first day.
Barely.
Hours later, when the last slime bounced out, I slumped behind the counter. My feet ached. My apron was stained. My brain felt fried.
But the tip jar was full. The customers hadn't rioted. The goblins only set one fryer on fire.
It was... technically... a success.
My new hire leaned across the counter, smile gentle, eyes bright.
"See, Boss? I told you. We're going to make this place unforgettable."
I nodded weakly.
"Unforgettable. Right. That's...
one word for it."
Somewhere in the corner, my sister whispered into her phone:
"He's never gonna realize she likes him."
I threw a handfull of friew at her.