I should've known better than to trust the Goblin Coupon Gang with a fryer.
When I got back from the dungeon delivery, the restaurant looked like someone had tried to combine a fast-food joint with a battlefield.
Grease stains, ketchup explosions, adventurers pounding tables like they were demanding a duel.
But somehow, customers loved it.
Word had spread fast. By evening, the line stretched out the door.
A group of orcs wanted a "family meal deal" but kept arguing whether two buckets of chicken was enough for eight people.
A mage demanded a "mana-friendly" burger. I had no idea what that meant, so I just gave him extra lettuce.
A band of skeletons returned, this time ordering milkshakes. They spent twenty minutes trying to figure out straws.
Meanwhile, the Goblin Gang, now in matching aprons they'd made from stolen tablecloths, were trying to act like real staff.
"WELCOME TO BURGER HELL!"
shouted Globby at a pair of terrified elves.
I slapped my forehead.
"It's not called Burger Hell!"
"Yes it is" my sister said from the corner, filming everything. "Chat voted. They love it."
Through all of this, my new employee was... flawless.
Her hair tied back, smile effortless, voice calm and warm. She handed trays to adventurers like she'd been born in an apron. Customers adored her. Orcs blushed. Elves stammered.
Even the skeletons managed an awkward "t-thanks."
Me? I was too busy trying not to trip over a slime that had somehow gotten underfoot.
At one point, she leaned over to whisper:
"Boss, don't worry. You're doing amazing."
I nearly dropped the tray I was holding. My brain short-circuited.
Did she mean it? Or was she just being nice? Probably nice. Definitely nice.
She brushed grease off my shoulder, smiling softly.
I turned red.
Behind us, a goblin dropped a milkshake.
Mom was, of course, thrilled. She kept refilling napkin dispensers like it was her sacred duty.
"Oh, darling, you've really built something here. I'm so proud!"
Step-dad sat in the corner, eating his third burger in silence.
Every so often, he muttered, "Overpriced."
My sister narrated to her phone:
"Boss Boy still hasn't noticed his new employee is basically in love with him. Place your bets when he figures it out. My money's on never."
I threw a pickle slice at her.
She dodged.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier, the Dungeon flickered into view, right in the middle of the restaurant again.
Every customer froze.
The Dungeon looked around, visibly horrified.
"This... this is expanding."
"Yeah" I said. "Welcome to the restaurant side of things."
"This wasn't in the original system parameters."
"Neither was ramen delivery, but here we are."
The Dungeon shivered like a person caught in the rain. My mom immediately rushed over, smiling.
"Oh, hello again! Would you like to try the house special?"
The Dungeon recoiled, somehow his cheeks turned pink.
"N-no! I-I'm not hungry!" Then it vanished.
Half the customers just shrugged and went back to eating.
By the time we closed, I was dead on my feet. Grease-stained, exhausted, emotionally scarred.
But the tip jar was overflowing.
The restaurant had survived Day Two.
As I dragged myself toward the back to collapse, my new hire stopped me. She placed a hand on my arm, her eyes soft.
"Boss... I'm really glad I work here."
I blinked. "Uh. Y-yeah. Same. Glad you're here too."
She smiled, brushed her hair back, and headed out with the trash.
I slumped against the counter, heart hammering, brain mush.
Behind me, my sister whispered into her phone:
"Still. Completely. Oblivious."