The first official slow day at the restaurant wasn't actually slow. It just meant the line wasn't stretching out the door and nobody was setting the fryer on fire.
I actually had time to sit behind the counter with a cup of coffee and pretend I wasn't running a dungeon-front business that doubled as an adventurer burger joint.
The Goblin Coupon Gang shuffled in wearing brand-new uniforms.
Matching. Red. Vests.
Each had the word STAFF stitched in giant crooked letters on the back.
"Where did you get those?" I asked, squinting.
Globby slapped a greasy coupon booklet onto the counter.
"Coupon magic."
"Coupon magic isn't real."
"It is now" he said proudly.
Before I could argue, they started handing out fake discount slips to customers. The discounts weren't real, but nobody dared question goblins with aprons.
My sister waltzed in late, holding her phone up like she was livestreaming a royal coronation.
"Welcome back to Dungeon Eats"
she announced.
"Today, my brother tries not to embarrass himself in front of his employee. Spoiler: he fails."
I groaned. "Do you have to?"
"Yes. My chat is paying me in real money to document your suffering."
Step-dad grunted from his usual seat, halfway through a plate of fries.
"He deserves it."
Mom beamed from behind the counter, refilling coffee mugs.
"Everyone's working so hard! I couldn't be prouder."
Meanwhile, my new hire... was perfect.
Again.
She balanced trays like a circus performer, laughed at every dumb goblin antic and somehow convinced a skeleton to order a salad instead of trying to eat the cutlery.
At one point, she leaned over and asked me:
"Boss, do you want me to cover the afternoon deliveries? You've been running around a lot."
My brain short-circuited. No employee had ever offered to go into the dungeon before.
"W-wha, no! You're not doing deliveries. It's dangerous!"
She tilted her head, smiling faintly.
"But you do them all the time."
"Yeah, well, that's because I'm... uh... trained?"
My sister's voice cut in from behind us: "Trained in what, exactly? Tripping over slimes?"
I nearly spilled my coffee on her.
On purpose.
Around midday, the Dungeon flickered into existence in the break room, looking distinctly uncomfortable surrounded by mop buckets and cleaning supplies.
"You're close to unlocking the next shop tier" it said.
I raised an eyebrow. "Already?"
"Keep working. You'll see."
Then it paused, glanced out toward the restaurant. "...She likes you."
I choked on my coffee. "Excuse me?!"
The Dungeon smirked, actually smirked and vanished.
When I stumbled back into the dining area, my employee looked up from wiping down a table and gave me that warm smile again.
I panicked and tripped over a chair.
By closing time, nothing had exploded, nobody had declared war inside the restaurant and the Goblin Gang had only stolen half the fry oil.
I almost dared to call it a good day.
As I flipped the sign to CLOSED, my employee lingered by the door, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Boss... thanks for today. I really like working here."
"Y-yeah. Glad you're here too."
She smiled softly and left.
Behind me, my sister's voice echoed:
"Chat says: STILL OBLIVIOUS."
I threw a burger bun at her.
She dodged again.