Morning shifts are supposed to be quiet.
You stock shelves, mop up whatever weird fluid Globby leaked overnight, and maybe sell three instant ramen cups to a hungover goblin.
Today was not one of those days.
I had just finished brewing the first pot of coffee when the automatic doors hissed open and a literal flood of customers poured in. Goblins, slimes, kobolds, even a nervous-looking vampire in sunglasses. I stood there holding my coffee pot like a shield, watching as the aisles filled up in seconds.
"Boss, we've got a line forming at the counter!" Mira shouted from the register.
"I just opened! How do they even..."
"Social media" she said grimly.
"Apparently some adventurer posted a review about our spicy chicken chips. We're trending on DungeonTok."
Globby bounced behind me, making odd boop noises while stocking energy drinks. Unfortunately, he stocked them upside down. I decided not to fight that battle yet.
The customers were already weird:
A kobold trying to haggle for two for one prices on individual jelly beans.
A slime demanding we open every ice cream box so they could "sample the flavours."
A vampire who insisted all our blood-flavored sodas were too positive.
That's when he walked in.
The doors slid open and in stepped someone who looked like he'd been personally dragged through the dungeon floor by floor and didn't care if it happened again.
Gray hair pulled back in a loose tie.
Brown eyes like stale coffee.
Leather armor that had been patched more times than I've reheated leftovers. A longbow slung over one shoulder and a permanent scowl that said, "I've seen horrors, and this store is probably one of them."
He walked straight up to me without breaking stride.
"You got Darkroot Beer?" he asked.
His voice was gravel with a dash of sarcasm.
"...Uh, aisle three, bottom shelf, behind the dried kelp chips."
He grunted, walked off and ignored every other living being in the store.
Even the vampire gave him space.
When he came to the counter, Mira rang him up.
"That'll be 2 silver."
He pulled out exact change, dropped it on the counter, and muttered, "Highway robbery."
"You know, we have a loyalty program" I said, trying to sound friendly. "Earn points, get discounts"
"No" he said flatly.
"You didn't even let me explain it."
"I've been alive long enough to know where that conversation ends."
He picked up his drink, turned to leave and stopped when a goblin tried to cut in line. Without even looking, the old man casually blocked him with his bow like a turnstile. The goblin backed away immediately.
That's when the Dungeon's notification window popped up in my vision.
URGENT DELIVERY REQUEST - Destination: Floor Seven, The Mushroom Sage's Hut.
Reward: +150 Points. Time Limit: 20 Minutes.
Twenty minutes?! That was barely enough time to even get to Floor Seven, let alone deliver anything.
I groaned. "Mira, I need to leave."
"In this?" She gestured at the growing mob of customers.
"I'll be back quick."
"Quick like last time when you were gone for two hours and I had to break up a kobold slap-fight in aisle five?"
I turned toward the old adventurer, who was still nursing his Darkroot Brew near the door.
"You busy?"
"Yes."
"You didn't even."
"I'm always busy."
"Will you help me deliver something for 50 silver?"
"Make it 75 and I'll think about it."
Five minutes later, we were speed-walking through the dungeon corridors, me clutching a wrapped package that smelled faintly like burnt butter.
"What's in it?" he asked.
"No idea. Mushroom Sage ordered it."
"Could be a bomb."
"Thanks for the comfort."
He moved fast for someone who looked like they hated moving at all. His bow never left his hand. At one point, a small pack of dungeon wolves blocked the hallway. Without breaking stride, he flicked a pebble from his pouch, it ricocheted off the walls and scared the wolves away.
We reached the hut with two minutes left. The door opened before I could knock.
Inside, a mushroom-headed old creature eyed us suspiciously.
"Package?"
I handed it over. He sniffed it, nodded, and tossed me a glowing coin.
+150 Points.
We turned to leave. That's when the adventurer muttered, "Disgusting."
When we got back, the store looked like a warzone.
Mira was standing on the counter shouting at a goblin to "PUT DOWN THE MELON BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT."
Globby was bouncing in circles holding a "Buy 1 Get 1" sign upside down.
The old adventurer took one look, grunted, and left without another word.
Mira glared at me. "Next time, you're not leaving. No matter how much the Dungeon pays you."
I looked at the glowing coin in my hand, then at the Points counter in my wierd dungeon HUD.
"Yeah" I said. "Sure."
I was lying.