thump thump
Javrian's voice rumbled low, like thunder echoing in a distant storm, his silver eye gleaming with a hunger that made me tremble, like a heart open wide for the beast to devour.
But even more was my heartbeat, crashing against my ribs, with all sleep vanished, fatigue crushed, and awareness becoming too focused on him.
I could feel vividly how his breath ghosted over my skin, hot and ragged, as he lifted his head from between my thighs... meeting my eyes, knowing how the vision was obscured due to my chest.
Those rough hands—unlike Victor's—seemed calloused from battles I could only imagine, yet they held me open, and strangely, I didn't feel any pain.
Like he was cradling something fragile.
I—I couldn't speak.
I don't know why he was treating me like this... shouldn't he be hurting me?
But again, my body was a traitor, arching toward him without permission, the aphrodisiac's fire mingling with something deeper within my belly that seemed on fire even though there was water spilled all over but no relief.
"Are you comfortable?"
'Huh?'
What does he mean?
I heard him clearly, the way he raised an eyebrow, the sharp eyes marked by a scar I cared nothing about... with his gaze piercing the last defence I could have mustered tonight.
It was strange.
I could ask only one question to him, like not having space to keep it in my heart, which was just beating to keep this body alive... bare minimum.
"Why aren't you hurting me?" I asked, looking with my eyes widened to know what he was trying to do exactly.
Oh, yes, it must be that he was crueler than others... he just wanted to heal me, make me bloom once to crush again.
"Isn't it obvious? You are beautiful..." His words seemed to freeze me, not even registering as he placed a soft pillow underneath my head to support me in looking at him without obstruction.
His words, and then this gesture... I guess my heart was really meant to be withered.
After all, how foolish and weak it was.
"...."
Tears slipped down my cheeks, not from pain like with Victor, but from this overwhelming sensation caused by that strange, alien word he spoke of—a sensation that twisted pleasure into my veins like vines reclaiming a ruined garden.
'This... this isn't right,' my mind whispered, cautious, knowing he was going to hurt me after all this. Yet like a fool I was, my fingers tightened in his raven hair, pulling him down, as if I had lost my mind or maybe wanted to make myself strong enough to bear the pain.
I wanted to be healed... if the inevitable was pain, he must make me strong enough to bear it.
"Mmh?" I heard his voice, felt the strange tingling in my body while my eyes remained looking as I pushed him down towards that wet lake he was drinking from... while this time wanting to not just feel but see in his eyes to understand when he will hurt me.
'!'
"Y..o...u"
I didn't let him speak, not when I wanted to see the truth of this man when he would be intoxicated by that sweetness he talked about... a time when he might reveal his intentions.
"W-wait—!" My heart stopped the moment he looked intensely at me, still slurping that place, clasping both palms directly at my chest. The mere sensation of those rough hands falling on my sensitively weak skin—I felt something drop from below.
"Annghh—mmphh—!" My hand moved from his hair to muffle that sudden voice that escaped my lips, but the rush came anyway—a gushing wave I couldn't control, spilling over his face in hot, shameful bursts.
I came undone right there, gasping sharply as my legs gave out, falling limp onto the bed like wilted vines after a relentless rain.
Something had gushed out of me, but it was confusing.
My body trembled, weak and spent, every muscle drained as if my very essence had been poured out, leaving me hollow yet strangely alight.
'W-what... why do I feel so weak?' The thought swirled in my foggy mind, confusion wrapping around the fading sparks of pleasure like thorns on a blooming rose I didn't ask for.
Panting, I forced my eyes open, looking down at him through tear-blurred vision.
His face was wet, glistening under the moonlight with evidence of some kind of liquid falling down on my thighs and lower belly—it was as if he had bathed, just like my thighs—his silver eye gleaming not with anger or disgust, but something feral, satisfied.
He rose slowly, like a beast on all fours, prowling up my body with deliberate grace, his massive frame casting shadows over me as he moved closer, muscles rippling under scarred skin.
"W-what did you do to me?" I whispered, voice trembling like fragile petals in the wind, my body still quaking in aftershocks I couldn't comprehend.
I didn't understand what had happened—why even being weak I felt this weakness strangely intoxicating instead of ruin, why my heart fluttered instead of shattering.
'Ah...' I could just blink and observe until he showed his intentions loud and clear... maybe my method really worked.
I couldn't forget this moment ever, nor after the painful night I never wanted—nor now, nor then.
Yet it came.
But unlike previously, this man's face, wet and marked by me, at least made me feel that he gave me relief before about to bring pain.
I felt that slick on his face only deepened the haze, my gaze drifting lower against my will, down to his pants as he unbuttoned them with rough fingers, revealing that thick, hardened length—something that brought a sharp memory flashing back, of being torn apart by that very thing, Victor's brutal force ripping through me like killing me.
'Finally... I can die.'
I was relieved, not fearful, knowing how this moment would mark the end of all this suffering.
The pain that I felt that night, if happened twice, would naturally kill me.
A death I never wanted but being the only option, I closed my eyes and lay with my whole body relaxed yet trembling due to the relief he gave me a moment ago.
I was prepared to die... yet he was cruel.
"Just tell me... okay?" His cruelty came in the form of a soft pressure on my forehead as that wet face touched my skin, though more so was a small kiss as I opened my eyes only to see this cruel man laughing at me.
He was laughing inwardly, but I could see that fake gentle smile I had seen so many times before, looking at me as he placed his arm beside my head, not letting me close my eyes due to how close his face was... and then came a feel.
His lower back leaned—it leaned to bestow upon me the same pain that would become my last suffering before eternal peace.
I softly closed my eyes... or at least tried to.
slick
"Hm?" My eyes opened, looking at him, my heaving chest touching his battle-marked, scarred skin like I was touching a warm, rough wall—but a wall that didn't seem to give me soft relief—as I felt him stop at the last moment, instead of stab, slice, in a way that felt strange.
And subtly I noticed something strange...
Why was I wanting him to stab me so desperately now?