1. "INTERLUDE ONE"
I spent a lot of my teenage years staying away from things like love, emotions and attachments. I was always with a new face every time, that was fun to me, I discovered a lot of myself through the phases of seeing and experiencing multiple girls. I guess you could say I was a player but from how I see it, I was just trying to protect myself from the things I've seen.. until I fell in love with somebody for the first time, like almost-every first love, it was the best experience but then it became the best love that never stayed.
2. "EMOTIONS"
I know you're gonna blame me for every problem, it always seems like I'm the one fucked up in this relationship, you said I've gotta work on some stuff and I don't deny it but everybody got their own imperfections.
The beginning of March was the beginning of our end, all those late nights and long days that we would waste arguing and fighting about stuff that don't matter, I tried choosing us over my demons but I failed and then you made a choice to end our love on the 28th, exactly on our anniversary date.
I wouldn't take a chance on love if I knew that loving somebody would bring me so much pain, I wouldn't trust you with my love if I knew that it wouldn't mean a thing to you one day.
Even though I was never the best, I was never ready to lose the love that we had and from the moment you decided that it's over between us, I throw myself to many things, hoping it'll save me from my heartache.
These are my emotions..
3. "I REMEMBER US MAKING LOVE"
I remember me becoming your safe space the more we would spend time, I remember you telling me that you wanna come back to the house with me for the first time and I remember me learning more about your body shortly before I could please your body.
I used to take you up to the ninth cloud, the walls in that room have heard your sex sounds and I remember every time feeling like the first time, we could never get used to it, so it was always fascinating and hot. I remember you not getting enough of it, I remember making you climax for the first time, I remember you asking me to take off the rubber and I remember it feeling like heaven.
I remember you feeling like a home to my spirit, I remember us starting to do everything together, I remember us being admired by everybody around us and each time when we'd get indoors, clothes would be on the floor, we would make love so good, I remember.
4. "BACK TO YOU"
Everything brings me back to you, every girl that I've kissed ever since you left brings me back to you, I guess this is what happens when you lose a home, I keep tryna move on but it brings me back to you.
I keep searching for us in other girls, so many girls in a small space of time, I must be fucked up, I keep on looking for you in these girls but nothing comes close to you, I guess that there's really never gonna be a place like home.
No matter what we do with these girls, it doesn't amount to what we had, no matter how many girls I'm busy with, it always brings me back to you and I hate that things had to be this way, we were once lovers but now strangers.
You can't replace real love, I'm contemplating if we should keep contact until we find our way back to each other or if we should accept our loss in love and let things be. I can't say things have been good without you, the space you left isn't difficult to feel and I'm afraid I might never find the perfect fit to fill it up because every girl I'm with leads me back to you