"Ms Resse, there's a package for you." My assistant, Theo informed me. He put down the package on the table in front of me. I looked at it, thinking hard. Ah yes, Resse was expecting a package from a magician at Aston, a neighbouring city.
"Thanks for bringing it here. I'll manage from here." I told him. Theo was astonished for a moment and nodded. I knew why he was surprised. Resse originally treated him so badly. I thought that, I wanted to improve Resse's image and being nice to everyone. It was hard though.
She wasn't exactly likeable. She was cold and had a short temper. People only treated her nicely because they were afraid of her. The original Resse built her reputation by acting like an unpredictable time bomb. I had a lot of work to do because of that. I surely didn't want to be viewed that way.
I opened the package carefully. It was a grimoire. An old looking grimoire. The cover was black and there was a seal mark on the surface. This grimoire was locked and the magician that sent me this couldn't have it open. Hence, she sent it to me. Well, who else would be able to open it other than me? The strongest Royal Sorcerer ever known in Atheen. I couldn't believe I actually declared that. It was weird.
It had been 2 weeks since I woke up with Resse's memory. I made a fast recovery and immediately went back to work as the Royal Sorcerer. The main task basically overseeing magic. Improving and researching spells. It wasn't the first time magicians around Atheen sent Resse magic items. The magic items they sent usually faulty, unknown and locked. They needed to be assessed and investigated. Resse would decide whether the item was safe to use or needed to be confiscated.
I took the grimoire to the secluded room from the main magic lab. Yes, they called my work place magic lab. It was easier get used to everything here. I was adapting fast. I closed the door behind me and walked up to the stone podium at the centre of the room. I put down the grimoire on top of it. Well, I just needed to crack the seal that was casted on it.
Did I mention that I was natural at using magic? It was weird at first but I got used to it soon enough. Casting magic was easy for me. I also had a huge mana pool like Resse. Well, the Resse from this world was probably stronger than me. She had more experience in magic after all.
I put a hand on top of it. I closed my eyes for better concentration. I could feel the sensation. My hand was warm. My magic was trying to dissect the seal. I felt hot all of a sudden.
"Agh! Shit." I retracted my hand quickly. I stumbled back, clutching my bleeding hand. What the hell? That was one hell of a defensive spell. The seal rejected my assessment magic and launched an attack. I felt like an invisible knife slashed my palm. I glared at the pain in the ass grimoire and decided to leave the room so that I could treat my hand.
"Ms Resse? What happened?" Theo queried, eyes wide as he looked at me.
"Nothing serious. I'll just go to the medical bay. Don't touch that grimoire in the chamber, you hear me?" I told him. Theo nodded.
I tried my best to stop the bleeding by wrapping a piece of clothing around my hand. I found out that, healing magic wasn't common. Anyone that could perform healing must be born with the aptitude compatible to it. However, the Royal family Ascar was known for their divine healing power. It was more advance than healing magic. Anyway, Resse and of course me, had no compatibility with healing magic. So, I had to go to the healers.
It was stinging. As if it was getting more painful as the time passed. Was there a curse from the grimoire? That would be terrible. When I entered the medical bay, Evi was there too with a member of the council. They were doing an inspection for the newest remedy potion that was brought in a few days ago. The healers were doing a test to demonstrate the effect of the potion.
"Resse?" Evi called and her eyes immediately locked on my badly wrapped bleeding hand. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine! It's fine. I just need a simple treatment." I assured her quickly. Evi approached me and gently took my hand. I winced in pain. Every movement felt like a knife just stabbed me.
"Sorry. Let me help." She looked at me apologetically before removing the clothe from my hand. The wounds were exposed. They looked worse than before. There was a cool sensation from her hand. It was the golden light again. I could see my wounds closing and the pain dissipated. Evi looked paler than before. There must be consequences for using that divine healing power.
"Thank you, Evi." I said sincerely. I grabbed her arm when she was losing her balance. She forced a smile at me. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy." She said. "How about you? It's not hurting anymore right?"
"I'm okay now. You should take a seat." I guided her to the nearest chair. She sat down and let out a sigh.
"Her highness must've used up too much of her power." The member of the council spoke up, giving me a brief look of disgruntled. "It is advisable to not trouble her highness with trivial injuries like that one."
"No, it doesn't trouble me at all." Evi retorted. She looked at me, eyes softening. "It's fine, Resse. It's more painful for me to see you're hurting."
"No. You should look after yourself more, Evi." I frowned, shaking my head. I was flattered that she cared that much for me but I didn't like it when she was hurting herself in the process. "I could've just asked the healers to tend me. I shouldn't trouble you like this. Your power should only be used for a more critical situation."
"But.."
"No buts. I'm serious." I gave her a hard look. She looked stunned and then nodded. I exhaled. "I.. I just don't want you to suffer for my sake, okay?"
"Alright, I understand." She smiled at me.
The council member then suggested Evi take a rest for the day. Evi reluctantly agreed. She wanted me to come with her but the council member requested to talk to me privately. I promised Evi that I would join her soon. And then, we were left standing outside the medical bay. From Resse's memory, she didn't know the name of this man. She was never interested in any of the council members after all and couldn't be bothered to know their names. Well, the only one she cared for was Evi after all. The other people never matter to her.
"Ms Resse, I've warned you before that her highness healing power shouldn't be used carelessly." He started. He was an old man, a strong looking old man. His beard already turned white just like his neatly combed hair. "The Royal Divine healing can overwhelm her highness. We can't afford to have her highness to be sick."
"I know. You don't have to worry, it won't happen again next time." I replied. He wasn't convinced but nodded nonetheless.
"Alright. You should tend to her highness now." He dismissed me.
"I'll be on my way then." I lowered my head and then went on my way. By the look of his face, he probably didn't expect that I would show courtesy like that. Resse never lowered her head to anyone ever since she was engaged to Evi. I guessed her reputation got into her head.
When I got into our room, Evi was already lying down on the bed, looking tired. I felt guilty. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw me. I sat down beside her and held her hand.
"No, don't look at me like that. I'm okay, Resse." She pouted.
"You are sick because of me. I don't like it, Evi." I said.
"You've changed." She stated, furrowing her eyebrows. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. This couldn't go on. I needed to talk to her carefully.
"I know, I've not been a great partner. I've caused more harm and pain to you than love and care." I began and opened my eyes to look at her. "I want to treat you better from now on. I want to be a place for you to find comfort and love. I want to make you happy and well. I don't want to hurt you anymore. Please forgive me for all the pain I've caused you, Evi.."
She started crying and immediately engulfed me in a tight embrace. I hugged her back and couldn't help but being teary. This was too emotional and her crying made me want to cry too.
"Yes.. I forgive you, Resse." She was way too kind. We pulled away from each other. I wiped off her leftover tears with my thumb. She chuckled lightly.
"Thank you, Evi.. Thank you for giving me one more chance." I muttered.
"I'll give you a million chances anytime, Resse." She replied, cupping my face and leaned closer. My breath hitched, my heart was thumping madly. "Because I love you so much."
She kissed me. It was the gentlest kiss she ever gave me. It was making me weak and wanted to cry. Why she was so soft and kind at the time like this? The guilt in my heart doubled. I didn't want to deceive her but I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. What would she think if she knew I wasn't the Resse she loved? That thought hurt me.
Evi ended up falling asleep while wrapped around my arms. She looked so comfy and I didn't dare to disturb her. The sensation of her kissing me was still lingering on my lips. My face was still red and my heart wasn't calming down. Damn it, I couldn't stop thinking about it.
*
My hand was bleeding again. Honestly, the grimoire might as well be a disguised knife at this point. I wrapped my hand with a piece of clothing. I've yet to figure out how to break the seal and it had been hurting my hand for the third time. The healers told me that there were lingering magical traces on my wounds as they were healing me. I guessed it was a curse. A curse that made the pain doubled as the time went on. Even though they healed me I still felt the pain. Their healing was different from Evi's. I didn't want to let Evi use her power on me again. This was nothing and she should have saved her power for something else.
I walked out of the room and slumped on a chair. My blood trickled on the floor. The bleeding was worse for the third time. Theo panicked and scrambled to fetch bandages. I was thankful for his thoughtfulness.
"Ms Resse, do you think the grimoire is actually a dark artefact?" Theo questioned when he handed me the bandage.
"Dark Artefact?" I repeated, eyes widened.
"Well, it causes nothing but pain to you so far." He muttered slowly.
"Until we see what's inside of it, we can't classify it as such." I finalised.
"Understood, Ms." He nodded.
After securing another layer of bandage around my hand, I walked up toward the shelves storing books about magic. I needed to read more and understand magic. Maybe it was because of my lack of knowledge and experience that made me unable to break the seal properly. This was taxing. I'd rather be busy researching plants than this. Although magic was interesting, I didn't fancy getting my hand wounded when working on the grimoire. It took the fun out of magic.
"Theo, maybe we need to find another way to break the seal. The usual method wasn't working." I told him.
"Okay. I'll help you with it." He joined me to read the books too.
If it wasn't because of my duty and I had to fulfil my role as the Resse in this world, I might already be out there, looking at flowers or plants I've never seen before. My wounded hand was stinging. Still, this pain was bearable because I already experienced worse pain than this one. Thanks to the parting gift the god gave me. An hour later, I looked up from the book I was reading to see the time. I hastily got up.
"It's lunch already. Take a break Theo. We'll continue this later." I said. I was so late to my lunch with Evi.
I left the magic lab hurriedly. I was 20 minutes late. I really didn't want to keep her waiting. After all, I promised to treat her well. I entered the dining hall and saw that Evi was already waiting. I looked at her sheepishly.
"Sorry I'm late." I said. She crossed her arms in front of her and frowned.
"What's your excuse?" She demanded.
"Well… I lost track of time while working. I'm sorry." I sat down across from her.
"There's only 30 minutes left of my lunch break. Now I get to spend less time together with you." She pouted.
"Sorry.. I won't be late next time!"
"Sure." She didn't look at me. That was devastating. I was used to seeing her pour all of her attention to me and receiving a cold shoulder like this was new. I didn't like it.
The food was served and we spent the time eating in silent. It was awkward. Evi was still sulky with me and I didn't know how to start the conversation. I ended up only using one hand to eat because I couldn't move my right hand freely anymore. I might need to go to the healer after this. I delayed it for way too long. The pain became too burdensome.
"Well then, see you tonight." She said coldly, getting up from her seat and wanting to leave.
"Evi, I'm sorry.." I said and chased after her. I was careful not to reveal my heavily bandaged hand. "It won't happen again."
"If you feel sorry, you have to give me a kiss." She smirked slyly. My eyes widened. Oh no, my heart was going wild again.
"Ah, well.." I stammered. She looked at me expectantly.
"Hm? Time is ticking, dear. I need to get going. You better hurry." She teased.
I moved closer to her, gulping nervously. I didn't have to kiss her on the lips. Her cheek was fine, I guess. She was waiting for me. This was harder than I thought. I stood beside her. Out of habit I lifted my right hand because it was my dominant hand. My eyes widened and quickly hid it behind my back but the damage was done. She already saw it.
"Resse, what is that?" She turned serious and looked at me sharply.
"Oh, it's just.. It's nothing. Well, erm.. Look at the time! I have to go." I practically ran away from her. I would talk it out with her later.
I went straight to the medical bay. The healers were expecting me. Probably Theo already told them. They let me sit down on the chair and the most senior healer started working on me. She removed the bandages and was shocked to find that my hand had turned blue. Well, I was as surprised as her. No wonder it was so painful.
"Ms Resse, I think regular healing won't be enough. This is too severe." She advised me.
"Then, what other way to treat it?"
"Well, her highness' healing will surely be able to heal this in an instant." She stopped when I shook my head. That was not an option that I wanted. "Well, the other way is using potion and traditional treatment. Have you ever heard of stitches before?"
"Yeah I do." I nodded.
"We have to close the wounds first with stitches. It is to prevent you from losing blood during the duration of healing. The healing potion needs gradual consumption but it'll take a while for full recovery."
"Ah, alright.. How long will it take?"
"I'm not so sure, with a curse embedded in the wounds, it may take months."
"Hm, okay it's fine. Let's go with that." I decided easily.
"A.. Are you sure, Ms Resse?" She was shocked.
"Yes."
And thus, she closed my wounds with stitches. Good thing that she made me feel numb first before doing it. Then, she bandaged my hand securely. She gave me the potion. It was green. She told me that I needed to drink the whole bottle everyday. When that potion touched my tongue, I wanted to spit it out immediately. I'd never taste something so bitter! It was way more bitter than the plant that killed me before. I braced it though and finished it in one gulp. The healers were amazed.
"Please stop by here tomorrow too for the potion, Ms Resse. If it's too troublesome, we can send it to you instead." She said.
"You can send it to my magic lab." I told her, grimacing the taste of the potion. They kindly gave me a glass of water. "Thank you."
I returned to my magic lab. Theo made a mess on his desk with more thick books littering around. He perked up when he saw me entering.
"Are you okay, Ms?"
"I'm fine. Not fully recovered but it's fine." I shrugged. "Did you find anything?"
"Oh! Yes. There's this spell that might work on the seal." He carried the big thick book toward me. I looked over and I saw a magic circle drawn on the page.
"Chain breaker.." I read the name. He nodded.
"It's an old spell but I think it might work." Then he halted, realising something. "But, the mana requirement and preparation are too much. That's why it's not a popular spell after several years."
"Well, it's worth the try." I said.
"Are you sure, Ms?" He was astonished. Maybe I was too different from the Resse of this world. Everyone kept on being surprised at my every action.
"Yes. Let's prepare for it."
I spent time in the lab until nightfall. Theo wasn't kidding when he said the preparation was too much. The requirement list took two pages. Whoever made this spell, they must be trolling or something. It was challenging to work around with an injured hand especially when it was my dominant hand. I had to rely on my left hand a lot and that slowed me down.
I went back to the bedroom and Evi was already waiting for me, standing there with a serious look on her face. It made me nervous. She narrowed her eyes at me, trying to send her displeasure toward me.
"Hey, Evi." I greeted carefully.
"Hey? That's all you can say?" She said coldly.
"Erm.. Sorry?" I avoided her eyes.
"Show me your hand." She commanded. I put my right hand behind me, and shook my head. I felt like a kid hiding their injury from their parents. "Resse.."
"I'm fine! It's just a scratch, alright?" I assured her.
"A scratch that needs to be bandaged like that?" She raised an eyebrow at me. I felt put on the spot.
"Yes. Apparently, it's the new treatment. Just bandage your scratch neatly and you'll be fine."
"That's bullshit." That was the first time I heard Evi use that word. It was unexpected. She was always careful of what she said and I guessed it was from her royal upbringing. She marched toward me. "Let me see your hand."
"Evi, I'm okay."
"Let me worry about you, Resse." She told me sternly, giving me a glare. I felt weak under that stare. Slowly, I held out my hand to her. She took it carefully, inspecting it.
"Please don't heal it." I said. She looked at me incredulously. "I.. I mean, it's just a small injury. You don't need to use your power for me."
"Resse, I know you've been regularly going to the medical bay lately. They told me that your injuries are severe." She gave me a pointed look. She looked sad. "Why are you trying to brush it off like it's nothing? I care about you, I don't want you to endure your injury like this."
"Evi, I'm okay. If I can endure it, it means it's okay for me. Besides, this will be my Trinket of Life." I grinned. Her eyes widened, looking at me in astonishment.
"Trinket of Life?" She echoed.
"Ah yes. It's uh.. Something about your scars are the trinkets from living your life."
"You made that up."
"What? No. It's the words of my…" I stopped myself in time. I almost blurted out my grandmother. Resse in this world was an orphan, she didn't have a grandmother. It would be a huge giveaway if I mentioned my grandmother.
"Hm? My what?"
"My.. Myself."
"So, you made that up." She was unamused.
"Okay, how about this, if I become bedridden because of this injury, you're welcome to use your power on me." I compromised.
"Oh really?" She wasn't satisfied.
"Yes! This is not dire, I promise! I still can stand and still do.. Agh!" She poked my hand. That left me trembling and eyes watering. That was so painful.
"You're in pain, Resse. How can I just let you endure this?"
"More than anything, I don't want you to use your power and suffer for my sake, Evi." I said seriously, looking into her bright blue eyes.
"So it's okay if you're suffering instead?!" She claimed angrily.
"Evi, listen. I can still recover properly although it's slow. I can handle it alright? I don't want you to overuse your power. I know it has after effects that could be dangerous for you." I explained calmly. I used my good hand to cup her face. I tried to smile. "If you want to help me, maybe you can help me change the bandage? Or remind me to take the potion tomorrow?"
"Is it going to help you at all?" She frowned.
"Yes, greatly."
"But.."
"Please Evi, let me have my Trinket of Life okay?"
"You're so stubborn." She sighed heavily. I grinned, knowing that she gave in. "Let's go take a bath now."
*
"That's amazing Ms Resse." Theo praised, genuinely amazed. I didn't say anything and just lay down on the floor. That was so hard.
A week of prepping, I finally managed to break the seal. The grimoire could be freely access now that the seal was broken. Oh my gosh, I would pay a visit to that magician that sent me this pain in the ass book and gave her hell for it. She better gave me enough compensation. Theo browsed the content while I was recovering on the floor.
"Ms Resse. There's a rare spell inside!" He informed me excitedly.
"A spell? Just one spell?" I asked indignantly.
"Uh.. Yes. Apparently it is."
"What kind of spell?"
"Cleaning spell. A spell that can instantly clean anything from dirt, grimes, filth and even foul smell." He read. I got a curse on my right hand for this spell? It wasn't even multiple spells inside but a freaking single spell?!
"So, I risked my right hand for that?" I laughed at how ridiculous it was.
"Well, it's a rare spell, Ms.." He mumbled out nervously. He knew that I was pissed.
"Give me that." I sat up from the floor. Theo handed me the grimoire. I read through the pages, using magic to speed up my reading. After I finished, I wobbly stood up and went to the dusty desk at the corner of the room.
"Cleanse." I chanted as I put my hand in front of me. The desk's surface instantly became spotless. Oh my god, this spell was real and it made me even more annoyed.
"Wow." Theo gasped.
"Copy the spell into the record and then send this shit back to Ms Ho. Write a note that says, she better give me a hefty compensation." I ordered him as I gave the grimoire back. Theo nodded and hastily left the room. I sat down again on the floor, leaning my back against the wall, my head was spinning and I had no energy left to stand up. I used up too much magic.
"Hey.. You're okay?" Evi entered the room. I just smiled and nodded. It must have been lunch time and I didn't show up. Well, I did warn her that I might not make it to lunch. I knew the ritual to break the seal would take a while. Well, not just that, it completely depleted my magic and energy.
"Just tired." I murmured. She sat down beside me, gently pulling my head to rest on her shoulder. I sighed in relief. I was glad that she was there.
"You're overworking yourself. It's not healthy." She told me in displeasure. She carefully took my right hand. I flinched slightly. It was still painful.
"It's over now.." I felt like a burden on my shoulder was gone. Finally that pain in the ass grimoire was gone. I didn't have to deal with it everyday.
"That's good. You should take a break. You've been working hard." She smiled warmly.
"Yeah? Maybe raise my salary, your highness. It's not paying enough for the stuff I went through." I joked. She snickered.
"I'll mention your concern in my meeting with the council next time." She played along. She went quiet and it turned into a comfortable silence. I closed my eyes, savouring the tranquillity and her presence.
"You shouldn't be here for too long." I spoke up, breaking the silence. I lifted my head from her shoulder, sitting up straight. My legs were still too weak to function properly. I might have to stay on the floor for at least another hour. "Don't you have work to do?"
"I'm not used to these changes in you, you know." She mused.
"What do you mean?"
"You used to be so clingy to me and want to follow me anywhere. Even so eager to be present during my meetings. You barely show up to your magic lab. And now, you're not doing any of that anymore." Evi listed down and I caught a hint of sadness in her tone. "Now, you mellow down. I can't help but wonder if you love me less now."
"Don't you find me a bother for doing all that though?" I queried carefully. My drastic change was a massive giveaway for my true identity. I needed to handle this carefully.
"Hmm.. I don't know. It's your expression of love toward me. I can't say that it's a bother can I?" She answered calmly. "It's just you showing me how much you love and care for me. If anything, I feel loved by you."
"It's not like I love you less, Evi." I took a deep breath. I needed to keep my cool to say this. "It's more like.. I want to give you freedom."
"Freedom?"
"Let's take this as an analogy. I treated you like a beautiful magical bird that needed to be caged because I was afraid that someone was going to steal you from me. I wanted you all to myself. I wanted to hide you from the whole world because you were mine and mine alone. No matter how selfish it was, I just wanted to monopolise you. No matter how much I was hurting you, I didn't care because I'd get to keep you for myself." I paused to take a breather. "The beautiful magical bird belongs to the sky. Spreading her wings and soars high in the sky. Letting the whole world to witness her unrivalled power and charm. Realising how much I've been holding you back and how much damage I've done to you, I decided to.. Open the cage and set you free."
"Oh god, since when you're this poetic?" She was flustered, eyes watering because she was touched. I looked away, feeling embarrassed.
"A.. Anyway, yes. That's exactly what I'm doing now. I want to give you freedom. And.. I want to be a place where you can always return to. The place where you feel the safest." I added, my face was growing hotter. "I want to support you in whatever you do. I want to be a partner that you could trust with anything. That's what.. Well, what I'm trying to do now."
"I love you Resse." She declared emotionally and pulled me for a tight embrace. I gave a one handed hug back. My energy was still so low to properly hold her. She pulled away and looked into my eyes. My heart hurt seeing that heavy emotion in her eyes. That burning love wasn't for me. That was meant for the Resse in this world.
She removed all the distance between us and kissed me. I closed my eyes, surrendering myself to her affection. My heart was hammering inside of me. It wasn't just nerves. A crippling feeling of guilt and pain was eating me day by day. I wonder how long I should keep the truth from her. She broke off the kiss and rested her forehead on mine.
"Can you stand?"
"No."
"I'll carry you."
To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I might as well look outside the window to see if there was a flying building soaring in the sky. Evi lifted me up so easily. She was so strong and I didn't expect that. She was proud to see how red my face was from embarrassment. I hid my face on her shoulder as we went through the hallways with every maids and guards there watching in amusement. Ugh, I wanted to die.