Evi gave me a week off. She said the council felt bad, so they suggested that Royal Sorcerer to take a break. I appreciated that they wanted to be on my good side after everything but I still didn't like them that much. They didn't stalk me anymore however. Which was a good thing. They kept their promise.
So, what should I do when I didn't have work? I strolled around the garden, trying to observe the flowers there. I brought a journal with me and started documenting the flowers. I was actually good at illustration. I took art classes before solely for the reason to draw plants. I could've just take photos but drawing it myself felt more fulfilling. Besides, with drawing, I could observe the plants more closely if I wanted to note down every detail.
I spent my whole morning like that until lunched rolled over. I closed my journal with a snap and winded up my sore muscles. I sat down on the ground and hunched up drawing on my journal for hours. I would regret that later but I was content. I finally got to do what I've been holding back for months.
I made it to the hall where Evi was waiting with trails of paperwork in front of her on the table. She looked busier than ever. I didn't say anything when I sat down. She looked up and smiled meekly at me before diving back into writing into one of the papers. The worker came to my side, asking my preferred lunch. I said just an alfav. It was basically a sandwich with meats and vegetables as the filling.
"You're not hungry?" Evi finally spoke up and signalled her servants to clear up the table.
"No. I ate too much breakfast in the morning." I shrugged. Evi nodded and rubbed her temple. She looked stressed out. "Busy?"
"It's hectic. I don't even know where to begin." She sighs heavily. She then smiled at me. "So, what were you up to today?"
"I start a new hobby." I grinned. She matched my mood. "I looked at flowers all day."
"Hm? Flowers?" She raised both of her eyebrows, bewildered. I purposely looked away, feeling shy.
"Yeah, I don't know but lately they seem interesting."
"Oh? Really?"
"Yeah.. Each flower has their own distinctive feature and I think that's fascinating." I waited for her to make fun of me but that never came. If anything Evi looked interested to know more. It made me warm.
"So, I guess you've been at the garden all day?" She grinned in amusement. I just nodded. "No wonder no one has seen you. Your Personal guard complained to me again that you've gone missing."
"I don't need a personal guard." I pouted.
"I know but I'm just worried okay?"
"I'm inside the palace ground, there shouldn't be any threat. So, there's no need for a personal guard."
"I'll keep that in mind." She exhaled.
"Sure." I was unconvinced.
"Well, do you want to take a stroll around the garden together after this?" She offered.
"Aren't you busy?"
"I can make time for a walk with you." She said cheekily.
"Alright then." There was no reason to reject the offer. Spending time together with Evi was always welcoming. It was fun to be with her. Although, it made me missed the Evi that I knew from my world sometimes. They had the same face and yet, they weren't the same person.
The walk was pleasant. Hand in hand we strolled in a slow pace while admiring the view. Her fingers brushed along the thin scars on my palm, the result of that stupid grimoire. The scars would be permanent. Evi's touches always linger longer on them. It was as if she wanted to imagine the pain I had to endure. My heart fluttered by that. She was too much sometimes.
There was a flower that reminded me of Evi. Her bright blue eyes were mesmerising and probably the one that stood out the most from her beautiful face. I stopped walking, making Evi stopped too. She watched me crouched down and plucked a blue flower. I stood up straight again and tucked the flower over her ear. She just let me and continued to smile. I leaned back, admiring my work.
"I knew it. This flower suits you. It complements your eyes." I commented. Evi smiled even wider, blushing. She looked so cute. My face was getting warmer and quickly pushed that thought away. I was getting ahead of myself.
"Let me find a flower that suits you." Evi tugged me in search of that flower. It made me giddy. Felt like I wanted to giggle. That was absurd. Why was I behaving like this?
"Should I give you flower everyday from now on?" She grinned. She got me a red flower, saying that it matched with my Hazel eyes. I was blushing furiously after that.
"No." I shook my head. "Instead, we should grow a flower together."
"I'd like that." She grinned grinned broadly, looking at me lovingly.
"Well, we can grow the flower in our room. I'll see if there's any flower that is suitable to be indoor." I rambled on because I felt all messed up when she looked at me like that. "Maybe we can pick a vase together later. I have an idea that.."
"Whatever you want, dear." She said softly. I wanted to melt.
She planted a kiss on my cheek and my face got even redder. She giggled cutely, amused to see my reaction. Then, the golden bracelet on her wrist chimed in. Ah yes, the green gem on our golden bracelet was actually a communication device. It served just like a telephone. I wasn't really sure of how far distance the magical tool could cover but it was very convenient. Evi frowned at it, knowing that she had to get back to work.
"Sorry, Resse. I have to go. They need me." She muttered, feeling bad.
"It's fine. You should hurry and go." I smiled reassuringly. Although I felt disappointed but I knew she was busy.
"Alright. We'll talk more about the flower later on okay?" She took my hands into her and placed her lips there softly. My heart was already hammering inside my chest. She grinned and then walked away. She was so smooth with it. Wow.
I continued the walk alone and felt empty when Evi left. I scolded myself for being annoying like this. I wasn't in the mood to continue my journal. So, I decided I might as well go out to the city. Maybe I could find a flower shop and buy a vase or something. Anything to keep me busy. I didn't like my thoughts at the moment. No, I was just too overwhelmed with my thoughts. It was full of Evi.
I didn't need a carriage to take me to the city. The guards tried to get me a carriage but I brushed them off and said that I just use my magic. I didn't even inform my personal guard. To hell with him, I wasn't going to take a total stranger with me when I went shopping. I didn't have any beef with the personal guard but I just didn't want to be watched all the time. I teleported to Ascar, the capital city.
I strolled around the street until I found the shop I've been looking for. Flower shop. There were flowers showcased in front of the stores. I stopped by and gawked at them. They were different flowers. Different from the ones in the palace's garden.
"Anything fancy you, Ms?" The shopkeeper asked kindly.
"Oh, I'm looking for a flower than can be taken care of indoor." I answered.
"I see. Will you come inside? I have a few indoor flowers." She offered, gesturing to the shop. I nodded with a smile.
An hour later, I went out from shop with flower seeds. The flower I ended choosing was Heva. A unique flower that produced pleasant fragrance and changed colours at every season. I couldn't wait to see it.
I walked around for a bit more until I found a pottery shop. I might as well ordered a custom made vase. I had a design in mind. The pottery shop was full of finished products. They were on displayed at the shelves. All of them were obviously handmade. A very skillful potter made them. That was promising.
"How can I help you, Ms?" The man greeted behind the counter.
"Is it possible to order a custom made vase?" I asked directly.
"Ah, yes of course. What kind of design you have in mind, Ms? I have a few sample here if you want to check."
I ended up drawing the design for him on a piece of paper. The man was amazed the entire time. Or probably he was just astonished because no one else done this before. When I finished I handed it to him.
"Oh wow." He uttered.
"How long do I have to wait?" I asked.
"Give me.. A week at most. I will personally deliver it to the palace, Ms." He answered confidently. He looked like a reliable person.
"Alright." I made the advance payment and after that it was done.
Satisfied with my productive day, I went to the river. I wanted to kill time sitting by the river and draw anything. I didn't want to return to the palace yet. I sat down on the grass, leaning my back against a tree. My journal perked up on my knees and I began drawing. My subject was the ship docking by the dock across from me. I focused on the motif by its body. It kept my mind off things.
The sun almost setting when I decided to head back. I've spent hours sitting on the hard ground, my bottom felt so sore. I teleported back to the main gate of the palace. The guards welcome me weirdly. It was the same way they behaved with the original Resse when she was in a bad mood.
"Do we have guests?" I queried which taking them by surprise.
"Ah Ms, how do you know?" One of then asked.
"Well, that." I pointed at the foreign carriages parked at the side of the gate. Their eyes widened in realisation and looked at each other, silently laughing for being silly.
"Yes, Ms. We have guests arriving a few hours ago." They affirmed.
"I see." I just wanted to know whether my assumption was correct and wasn't really interested to know more about the guests. Receiving guests to the royal palace wasn't unusual. We received guests all the time anyway.
I entered the palace and even the maids greeted me weirdly. They were afraid of me again. I was sure that they knew I wasn't dangerous anymore but somehow, they were treating me like a bomb again. They were fussing over me, trying to put me in a good mood. What the hell was happening?
"I'm not late for dinner right?" I asked one of them.
"Yes Ms. There are still time before dinner. I will prepare your outfit after bath." She replied.
"Ah, okay thanks." They usually didn't do that. Well, she looked like a hardworker. I might as well let her do that. She probably happy that I let her though because she looked so relieved.
Evi wasn't in the room when I arrived. We usually met up in the bedroom, taking bath together and then head down for dinner. It was our usual routine. Well, she was probably busy. It was understandable. I took a bath. My tiredness and soreness just melted away by the magical water. It felt nice. After that, the maid really did prepare an outfit for me.
"Her highness, Princess Evi is already waiting in the dining hall, Ms." She informed me. I just nodded.
I noticed that the outfit she prepared was a bit too fancy for a normal dinner. I didn't say anything and just let her dress me up. There was probably something more to it. Everyone had been acting weird. When I was done, I headed down to the dining hall.
Evi wasn't alone at the table. Evi was sitting at the head table. I learned recently that she only sat down at the head seat when it was a formal dinner. There were 2 other people there. I've never met them and neither was the Resse of this world. A very beautiful woman and a very muscular man. Their outfit was different from the usual style of Atheen. They might be from a different country altogether.
"Resse, you're here. Let me introduce you." Evi said tightly. She was under pressure.
"This is the first Princess of Franciff, Princess Ana." She gestured to the woman. No wonder she looked so high class.
"Greetings, your highness, Princess Ana. I'm Resse Martin, the Royal Sorcerer of Atheen." I greeted politely, lowering my head. She looked pleased.
"Greetings Ms Resse." She returned the gesture.
"And this is Sir Carman, the Head Knight of Franciff." Evi continued, addressing the big man. Ah, that explained why he looked so muscular.
"Greetings, Sir Carman." I politely spoke to him.
"Greetings, Ms Resse. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Then we all sat down. I stared at Evi and she was determined to avoid my eyes. We had our communication gem with us all the time and she didn't inform me any of this in advance? Why did I feel like Evi was feeling guilty about something?
"I heard you were out in the city?" Evi tried to strike a casual conversation with me.
"Yes." I answered simply.
"Did you go shopping?"
"Yes. A bit. Then, I just hung out by the river, drawing." I didn't want to put more pressure on Evi. So, I stopped myself from looking at her sharply.
"You draw? Since when?" She was surprised. Well, the original Resse did not exactly ever have an artist soul inside of her. I could understand the shock.
"A new hobby." I smiled. Evi returned the smile warmly.
"Will you show me your drawing later?" She requested.
"Maybe." I teased.
"Maybe? Why? Is it because it's bad?" She retorted with a smirk. I gave her a flat look.
"Because you're being mean about it. I don't feel like showing it to you." I huffed.
"Wait, no. I'm just joking, dear." She pleaded.
"It's really heartwarming to see how you two get along so well." Princess Ana suddenly interjected. I forgot that we weren't alone at the table. It was easy to forget everything else when I was with Evi.
"Thank you, princess Ana." Evi cleared her throat, feeling a little self conscious.
The foods were served skillfully by the maids. I didn't really contribute much to their conversation. They talked about some symbolic cuisines from their country and Evi countered by sharing Atheen's cuisine. Then, it turned into a talk about magical creatures. I didn't know that this world had dragons too. I mean, they had merfolks, it should be no surprise they would have dragons too. This world was truly a fantasy land.
"So, how long have you two been together?" Princess Ana changed the subject when we were eating dessert. The look she gave me was uncomfortable. Almost like the kind of look Rossa would give me when she had the upper hand on something.
"6 years now." Evi answered. I tried to control my facial expression to be neutral. I shouldn't show my surprised face. I didn't know that this relationship was that long. Resse's memory didn't really provide me with that information. I noticed some of her memories were incomplete.
"Oh, that's really admirable. To maintain such a relationship for so long." Princess Ana said. Evi was growing restless and tense. I had no idea what was happening. "It's a shame really."
"A shame?" I echoed, unable to hold back my curiosity. Princess Ana looked gleeful. Damn it, I took the bait.
"Yes, a shame indeed. I really don't want to get in between you two. Not when you two are so close to each other." She faked her troubled face. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. "Especially when I'm here to propose to Evi."
My eyes widened in shock. She just dropped the bomb. The answer I had been looking for. No wonder everyone was so cautious around me when I got back from the city. The guilt in Evi's eyes and how this woman from Franciff was looking down on me. I threw a glance at Evi, silently asking for an explanation. She had hours before to tell me personally through the communication gem and yet she didn't tell me anything at all. Evi purposely avoided my eyes.
"Erm, this dessert is so good. Is it one of Atheen's specialty?" Sir Carman swiftly changed to topic and the conversation naturally changed to the topic of food again.
I didn't say anything anymore. I just focused on finishing my plate but I didn't have any appetite anymore. What was this pain inside of me? I couldn't explain my own feelings. All I knew, I was kind of upset. Still, I didn't deserve to be upset over this. I was no one to begin with. If Evi was getting proposed by royals from different countries, I shouldn't be all surprised. It was common. Ugh, damn it. Who was I kidding? I didn't like it at all! Again, I promised to support her no matter what.
"Thank you for the delicious dinner, Evi." Princess Ana said kindly. She called Evi without her title. She might as well just tell me directly that they were equals.
"I'm thankful that the food is to your liking. Please have a good rest tonight." Evi spoke politely. She sounded like a robot.
The maids led the guests away while Evi and I made our way to our room. We didn't say anything along the way but I could feel the tension building up between us. I felt conflicted about everything. Was it possible for Evi to marry someone else and could still be happy? If that happens, I wasn't even needed anymore. I could still fulfil my role by supporting her as an ally or as a friend instead? Somehow the pain I felt before grew stronger. Agh, I was so confused. What the hell did I want to do exactly? What did I want?
We arrived in the bedroom. Evi closed the door behind us and waited for something. She probably expected me to explode or punch her or something. I just simply sat down on the edge of the bed and gazed at her. She still didn't dare to look at me in the eyes.
"You don't have to hold back. I know you're angry." She muttered slowly, looking down on the floor. She looked like a child that was waiting to be yelled at.
"I'm upset but not to the point where I don't want to listen to you." I said calmly. She lifted her head slowly and finally looked at me. I could tell that she was anxious and hurt. "Just explain the situation to me. We'll talk it out properly."
"Fine. Yes." She breathed out. She joined my side, sitting down on the bed too. I decided to hold her hand to show that I wasn't going to push her away. She relaxed more at the contact.
"I just found out about it today, just a few hours before you do. It was a shock for me and also unexpected. I knew guests from Franciff were coming months before. However, I didn't know the guest would be the first princess carrying a formal marriage proposal declaration. I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. I.. I was just scared. I know that I'll hurt you in the process." She told me. "Franciff and Atheen go way back. There was a long history between our countries. Diplomatic relations that had been established for centuries. So, a marriage proposal from Franciff isn't something that I can.. I can't just reject it without jeopardising the long established relationship. I.. I have my duty as the princess of Atheen. The duty to preserve the prosperity and peacefulness of my country."
"The council suggested that I should accept the proposal and keep you as my concubine." She looked like she just swallowed a bitter gourd. She hated that.
"I.. I don't mind." I stuttered. I sucked at lying.
"What are you saying?! How could you? The only one I want to marry is you." She was indignant. This was the angriest I've seen her. I pursed my lips and looked down to our interlocked hands.
"But, you're bound by your duty as a princess." I murmured slowly.
"I.. Yes.. I do." Her tone was hard to listen to. She was heartbroken. "This is hard."
I pulled her in for a hug. She cried in my arms. I just let her. Evi was always calm, composed and collected. It was really rare for her to showcase her emotions. She looked so vulnerable at this time and it hurt me to see it. Still, she was opening up to me more and that means she began to trust me more. I stroke her head gently to calm her down. It must have so hard for her. A part of me wanted to be selfish and told her to reject that proposal but another part of me wanted to just let her make the decision and support her. I couldn't deny my heart desires, I'd want her to reject it. Imagining someone else was going to marry her hurt me more than anything. What was wrong with me? But, I didn't want to be selfish. Evi was her own person. I didn't own her. She was free to make her decision.
"Tell me.. Tell me to reject the proposal, Resse." She whimpered desperately. Evi was using me as an outlet. To do something she was forbidden to do or express. Maybe, this was why she put up with the original Resse all of this time. She was depending on Resse's selfish tendency to project her own. What a twisted relationship they had.
"I won't." I forced out. I was fighting myself. There was a war going on inside of me. Evi leaned away, looked at me with wide eyes. "You have to make your own decision, Evi."
"But, this isn't just about me. It's about us, Resse."
"I know. I already made up my mind." I looked at her gently, wiping off her tears with my fingers. "No matter what you decide, I'll always support you."
"That's.. That's unfair.." She sobbed. I caressed her cheek as I tried to hold back my tears. My eyes were stinging. I didn't want to break down in front of her. I wanted to look tough and strong.
"This is not about it being fair, Evi. It's about what you will do in this situation." I tried to smile but I might as well just forgot about it. There was nothing in this situation made me want to smile. "You hold the power here. It's your decision to make."
"No.. I don't have the right to make a decision." She buried her face on my shoulder.
"You have the every right to." I whispered, leaning my head against her.
"I can't.."
"Evi, you're the true ruler of Atheen. A true ruler shouldn't be a coward. Take your stand and make up your mind. Make the decision where you think will be the best. I trust you and I will support you in whatever you do."
We slept in each other's arms. Evi stopped crying somewhere in the middle of the night and dozed off. She was weary both emotionally and physically. I just held her securedly and I couldn't sleep a wink. I needed to just support her in everything. This wasn't about what I wanted but Evi's.