"I can't blame you for forgetting me, you were so little after all." She said in understanding, sipping her tea. "I just wish I found you early. I went into 5 years long quest. When I got back, the house was abandoned, you were no where to be found and.. Delina.. She.."
"Grandmother?" I muttered, surprised. That was my grandmother's name. It had been a while since I heard anyone mentioned her.
"Yes, you still remember her right?" She frowned.
"Of course!" I nodded. "She.."
"What happened back then? Where were you?"
"I.. I don't know." I couldn't answer that. My own memory even Resse of this world's memory couldn't help me answer that. I knew she was talking about Resse's grandmother from this world but it felt oddly personal to me.
"I asked around but I couldn't find you anywhere in Franciff. I thought that if you ended up abroad, the chance of finding you was almost impossible. Just in recent years, when you became the Royal Sorcerer of Atheen, that was the first time I heard your name in so long. However, I wasn't sure if that was you. You didn't reach out to me all these years. I thought that you were a different person." She explained.
"I see.." I mumbled out, staring at my cup of tea blankly.
"Resse? Are you okay? You look pale." She studied my face, worried.
"Can you.. Can you tell me about the past?" I requested.
"Well, I think you were just 5 years old? Or was it 4? I forgot, you were so little. As soon as you can walk and run, you never stay put and always explored the outside. You brought all kind of wild plants you found at the backyard and there was one time you accidentally brought a poisonous snake with you. Delina was frantic, it was a mess." She recalled fondly. I couldn't help but smile. "I visited often, and taught you how to write and read. Also, taught you simple magic. However, you were such a brat and always ran away from the lessons."
"Oh, do you remember that tree where you climbed so often? You fell from it and landed on a girl of your age. You got a wound on your knee. Delina didn't want me to heal you and let the wound heal naturally, if it becomes a scar, she said that it's-"
"My Trinket of Life." I finished with wide eyes. She smiled widely.
"So, you still remember."
"Wait.. How.." My mind was in shamble. How could this be? That was my own memory. I knew it was my own and not the Resse of this world. What was going on? Huh? Did we have the same past with our respective grandmother? That was not right.
"What's the matter?"
"Teacher, can you take me to the old house?" My heart was beating so fast.
"Sure I can."
"Right… Right.." I tried to calm down. I couldn't panic yet. I looked at the two knights by the door standing guard. I walked over to them.
"Yes, Ms Resse?" One of them asked.
"Something comes up. I'll send you two back to Atheen."
"Wait, you can't do that, Ms!"
"Sure I can. Just.. Just tell Princess Evi that I'll be back. And I leave you two with no choice." I chanted a spell and a teleportation portal appeared beneath their feet.
"Ms Resse!" They tried to jump away from the portal but I chained them in place with another spell.
"I'm sorry."
Then, they disappeared. I didn't want them to tag along while I tried to investigate my past. Teacher looked so casual as she sipped her tea. I took a deep breath and I could feel a headache was coming.
"You truly living up the name Royal Sorcerer. Not many people can do chantless spell." She commented. I was a little surprised. I didn't realise I do that. All I could think about at the time was keeping them in place and send them away.
"Well, take me to the old house." I demanded, a bit impatiently.
"Alright. Let's go." She put down her cup and stood up.
She teleported us in front of an abandoned looking house. I froze as I took in the scene. This was.. This was my grandmother's house. I remembered it well although it looked old and broken. I remembered the window I always climbed up when I sneaked out to go exploring the nearby woods. What was the meaning of this? How could this place here? Wasn't this supposed to be at my previous world?
Teacher moved to enter the house. It snapped me out from my shock and I followed behind her. Teacher looked sad. I didn't say anything to her and explored the house. It was exactly as what I remembered when I was little. My head was spinning. How could this be? Wasn't I belong to the other world? Why this was here? I stumbled into my childhood room. I had pots of plants by the window, they were all dead of course. I saw books scattered on the desk and drawings hung on the wall. I remembered that drawings. I drew plants, flowers and my first friend which was Evi.
I wasn't satisfied yet, so I opened the wardrobe. I kept a secret stash inside a box I hidden at the corner of the wardrobe. Grandmother didn't allow me to have too many sweets. So I had been keeping sweets for the night when I couldn't sleep. That secret stash was there. Exactly where I last remembered it. My legs almost gave up. I couldn't deny it anymore. This house.. This was truly my grandmother's.
I went out from the house and made my way to the tree. I recalled the pathway. The tree was easy to spot. All of the leaves already fallen, leaving a leaveless tree. That tree looked so big back then. Seeing it at this time, made me realise how much I've grown. This tree was here. I approached it slowly. There was a letter carved on the trunk. My initials 'R M'. I left it there because I just wanted to declare that the tree was mine. To show off to Evi that I owned something awesome. I looked over the hills, I recognised that landscape.
"That's Atheen." Teacher came from behind me, confirming my assumption. "This house is located very close between the borders of Franciff and Atheen. Well, just over there, it's Ascar, the capital of Atheen."
"I.. I see." I muttered weakly.
"You're very distraught, kiddo. Are you okay? Mind telling me what's on your mind?" She put a hand on my shoulder. I hunched and choked. She immediately pulled me in an embrace. I was going to hold it in but that caring touch she gave me made me crumpled. This was too overwhelming.
"Sorry. I just.. I just feel overwhelmed." I said after the hug. I've calmed down.
"It's fine." She gave me a kind smile.
"Teacher, do you believe in alternate worlds?" I questioned. She turned serious, thinking deeply.
"There are researches about it but none of them have proven that it exist. It was debatable though. There were unexplained phenomenons but most wanted to deny they have any relation with alternate worlds." She gave her scholar response. "For me personally, I believe it."
"What kind of phenomenon?"
"Animals never seen before suddenly appeared in the middle of a city. There are more. Such as foreign technologies never seen before just emerged in someone's home." She shrugged. "No one could explain it but I bet that they were accidentally came from different world."
"So, why are we talking about alternate worlds?" She asked.
"Well, I.. I believe that I come from a different world." I began. She didn't interrupt me and encouraged me to continue. So I did. I told her everything.
"This is alot." She said after a while. I couldn't believe I actually tell someone about my secret. Teacher believed me and that made me so happy. I felt like I wasn't alone in this anymore.
"Yes. Now I'm completely lost." I looked down, fiddling with my fingers.
"Well, let's start with your incomplete memory." She decided. "There must be something happened to you and Delina back then. Your memory of the past is incomplete. Let's figure that out first."
"Yes. That's a good start." I nodded.
"Before that, shouldn't you tell your fiancée about this?"
"I.. I can't.." I couldn't look at her in the eyes.
"You're afraid." She deduced correctly.
"I don't know.. I.. I don't want to tell her the whole truth. Not yet at least." I sighed heavily.
"Well, at least tell her that you'll be away for a while. I have a feeling that this will take a long time, Resse."
"Yes.. I guess so." I nodded weakly. I didn't know how to face Evi.
*
"Hey Evi. It's me." I talked to the green gem on my bracelet. It crackled to life.
"Resse! Where are you right now?" Evi's voice echoed in my mind. From her tone alone she was so worried.
"I'm sorry, Evi. I can't tell you. I need to do something right now. So, I will be away for a while." I told her calmly.
"Are you.. Are you in danger?"
"No. Well, I don't know. You.. You don't have to wa-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" She cut me off, knowing what I was going to say. I couldn't explain how relief I was. "Whatever you do, just promise me that you'll come home, to me."
"Even if I probably take years?"
"I don't care, Resse. You just have to come back to me."
"I.." I choked, holding back my tears. I felt overwhelmed. This was too much. There were so much I wanted to feel and they were all mixed up together. "I'm sorry.."
"Promise me you'll come back?" her voice trembled.
"You're too good to me, Evi.." I could feel tears rolled down my face. It was easy for me to shed tears because she wasn't in front of me. It was a coward move to talk to her like this but I wasn't ready to face her directly.
"No, not that. I need your words, dear." She said softly as if talking to a fragile glass. "Please.."
"I promise.." I blurted out.
"That's good enough for me."
"No, you deserve so much more than this.."
"Stop. You are good enough for me. Even if we can't meet for now, we'll talk like this again won't we?"
"Sure. We.. We'll talk." I nodded.
"Good." I could imagine her smiling. Oh how I wanted to see her. "You're not alone in whatever you're doing right?"
"My teacher is helping me."
"That's good. You have to be careful okay?"
"Yes. I will." I suck in deep breath. "Listen, when I return, I'll tell you everything. I'm sorry I can't tell you right now."
"It's fine. I.. I understand. I will wait for your return." She exhaled. Evi was just so kind. "As long as you come back, I'll be fine."
"Yes. I'll talk to you later."
With that, I ended the connection and buried my face into my hands. Teacher rubbed her hand on my back to comfort me. I was glad that I wasn't going to be alone in this. After I calmed down, we sat down on the floor. Teacher handed me one of the diaries. It might look like she was being inconsiderate when I just had a break down but I knew she did it so that I could take my mind off things.
Our quest started with reading grandmother's diaries. She kept diaries for years and was very diligent at it. We thought we might find a clue in one of them. Grandmother's diary collection dated way back when she was still in her 20s. We would take a bit time to read all of them.
"You can go get some sleep, kiddo." She suggested kindly.
"No, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. I can do this." I stubbornly said.
"Alright, but, if I sense that your health is deteriorating, I'm jinxing you to sleep!" She threatened. I just laughed but I knew she was serious.
We read the diaries through the night and didn't have a single clue yet. We'd have to continue the next period of her diaries. While we were staying at the old house, teacher and I took turn fixing and cleaning around. I couldn't believe that cleaning spell from that pain in the ass Ms Ho's cursed grimoire actually so useful at this time. It saved a lot of time cleaning. That spell was a great conversation opener too. I could talk shit about Ms Ho with teacher. And then, in return, she talked shit about her colleagues. We were bonding. It wasn't hard to get comfortable with her. It was as if I knew her my whole life.
"I'm going to the orphanage in Atheen." I told teacher. I guessed, I should ask around how Resse ended up in the orphanage in the first place.
"Will you be fine going alone?" She questioned, looking up from reading.
"It's going to be brief." I didn't exactly answer her question. She gave me a pointed look, noticing that. I looked away. "I'll be fine."
"If you go visit your fiancée while you're at it, it's fine by me too."
"No. I.. I can't face her yet." I shook my head.
"Huh, fine."
With that I left to Atheen. The Orphanage was at the outskirts of Ascar. I wore a cloak to hide my face. I didn't want to be seen because I was sure Evi would immediately notified if I was seen. The place didn't change much from other Resse's memory. If anything it looked more rundown than the last time she saw this place. Other Resse didn't even bother to return here after she turned 18. She hated this place. Well, I could understand. She didn't have the best experience here. She was isolated and everyone called her weirdo. Somehow, I could understand that loneliness. I've experienced the same thing too. Well, that until I've met Evi and we became best friends. Wait, wasn't that the same thing as the other Resse? Evi helped cured her loneliness too.
I walked inside the building, heading straight to the cafeteria where I could find Sister Jane. She was the one in charge of this place. She probably recognised me right away. The cafeteria was full of children. I spotted Sister Jane immediately. She was busy serving the food. I walked up to her.
"I've been wondering if you already forgot this place, Resse." She said without even looking at me.
"You know I'm coming?" I asked, bewildered.
"I know everything going on here. I saw you enter through the gate." She was creepy. I guessed, other Resse's thought that she had a third eye was true.
"I see." I nodded. "I want to talk to you about my past."
"About time you'd be interested in that, Resse. You never wanted me mention that to you." She smiled gently. She didn't look so creepy anymore but a caring guardian.
"Well, I'm ready for it now."
"Let's go to my office."
The office was very neat. I could tell she cleaned up so often. I sat down after she invited me to sit. She rummaged through the cabinet to find the file. She pulled out a brown envelope and gave it to me. I opened it and saw bunch of pictures. Other Resse's times in the orphanage. Mostly her alone. There were other records too, like health records, some schools achievements and her official release from the orphanage due to coming of age. There were also failed adoption records. Well, I didn't know that Resse was almost adopted permanently. She was returned after a week. After that she probably didn't want to hope for a new family anymore. Other Resse's memory in my head was incomplete. The times she had in the orphanage came to me only fragments. However I could see her memories in the Ascar Academy clearly. Maybe there was a case of favouritism for this. She only remembered clearly memories that were happy for her.
"You were found wondering in the wilderness by the city folks. They thought that you were just lost. Turned out you don't remember anything. You just knew your name." She started telling me as she was sitting down. "They sent you here. We spread the word around about you. No one had any idea who you are. So, since then, you've been living here until you left at 18. I wish, the time you had here was pleasant but I know that was far from the truth. You hated this place."
"Sister, can you.. Erm, describe what I was wearing that time?" I asked carefully. She looked up to the ceiling as she was trying to remember.
"You wear an odd outfit. Probably from foreign country but there was no way you could've just wonder into Atheen's border undetected. So, we assumed you are Atheenian." She studied my expression and immediately knew what I wanted to hear the most. "You wear a white body wear and a long thick pants coloured in dark blue. Your shoes have weird ropes and holes on them. Your accent was also weird too. We just thought that because you lost your memory, you lost your real accent."
"Erm, why do you think my accent was weird?"
"You kept using the phrase 'legit awesome.'" She recalled. I almost snorted. That would be understandable if it was from the other world. To use that here was so freaking weird. "There was also 'cringy?'"
"Oh, I see." I guessed she was right to be confused. People here don't really use that kind of phrase or words.
"You were a smart kid although a little bit different from the other kids." She smiled widely. "There was one time one of the kid was injured and the first thing you did was tieing his broken arm in a sling. Most kids would've just call for the sisters because we can heal it easily. How did you learn to do that, we had no idea. What you did actually smart. It was easier to mend the broken bone after that. You were a really smart kid."
"Uh, thanks."
We talked some more and sister Jane answered most of my questions. I was grateful that she was so cooperative. After that I left the orphanage. I didn't take other Resse's file with me. I felt like I'd better left it there in the orphanage. I guessed there was something in me that wanted it be a mark that there was another Resse in this world.
I returned to the old house. Teacher made food and I was just in time when she was serving. I told her about the information I got as we ate. I was convinced that the other Resse wasn't originally from this world. How did it happen? Did we switch back then? We couldn't be so sure yet. There were a lot of plotholes.