Teacher supported my weight, my legs felt like jelly. My arm was around her shoulders and Teacher's hand seized my hip. We arrived at Atheen. My vision was blurry but that familiar scenery made me happy. I was finally home.
"Ms Resse? It's her!" I heard the guards' voices. Footsteps nearing us.
"Are you going to pass out?" She asked me when my head dropped. I couldn't lift my head anymore.
"No.." I muttered weakly.
"Ms Resse! Is she okay?"
"She needs treatment. Her condition is critical." Teacher told them. I was lifted by someone and carried toward a new place.
They laid me down on a bed. The world around me was spinning. It was hard to make out anything at this rate. I couldn't see the faces clearly. Their voices sounded muffled. The pain became like the only thing I could feel at the moment. It was so easy to let go at the moment like this. Just stop breathing and all of this suffering just fades away. But, there was someone I wanted to see so badly. I wanted to hear her soothing voice. I wanted to feel her touch. I needed her.
"No! Resse! You have to breathe! Resse!" I heard Teacher's voice. I looked at the blurred face above me. That person looked like her. Someone was shaking me. I gasped, it was painful to breathe. Ugh, I wanted this to end.
"Your highness!" Someone said and the crowd backed away from me.
"Resse?" That voice. That voice sounded familiar. The voice that I had been longing to hear. This person took my hand in hers. A hand rested on my cheek. "Resse…"
I closed my eyes. The pain was easing away. This sensation felt so comfortable. I let myself drown in this bliss. My senses were returning to me. My mind became clearer. It wasn't stuffy anymore. I could breathe fine. It was as if I just had fresh air after a long time.
"Resse, talk to me.." Evi's voice sounded near me.
"Evi.." I called, gripping her hand tighter. I opened my eyes and almost cried at the sight of her. I've missed her so damn much. She lost weight, dark circles under her eyes, she looked pale. Tears were rolling down her face. I sat up and she quickly wrapped her arms around me, embracing me tightly.
"Resse…" She called. I hugged her back, bursting into tears. Oh gosh, this felt surreal. She was really here and not in my dreams anymore. "You're home.."
"I'm.." I choked. I felt overwhelmed with my emotions. "I'm home."
I didn't know how long we were hugging each other but it didn't matter. When we pulled away from each other I noticed that all of the others had left the room. It was just Evi and me. Evi cupped my face, her hands were trembling. Her eyes gazed at every little detail of my face as if trying to see if I was real or not.
"I'm sorry.." I uttered.
"You.. I almost lost you again.." She said and rested her forehead on mine, closing her eyes then sighed in relief. "You're back.. You're here.."
"Hmm.." I closed my eyes too, savouring her presence.
"I love you.." She whispered gently. My heart was racing. She pressed a kiss on my forehead. She was being gentle with it. It made me want to melt. Oh gosh, it had been a while since I felt like this.
"That tree where we met for the first time." She said suddenly. I opened my eyes and looked at her in astonishment. She caressed my cheek softly, a smile on her lips. "Your first Trinket of Life on your left knee. You bragged about that tree being yours. The flower garland you made for me as an apology."
"Evi, what?"
"I recognised you, Resse. The moment I saw that scar on your left knee." She looked into my eyes. A realisation struck me. I understood what that gaze meant, it was knowing. "You were gone back then. I've met a different you after that."
"You knew?" My eyes widened.
"I've wanted to tell you. But, you seem determined to act like the other Resse. Although, you're being too obvious about it." She exhaled, smiling. She took both of my hands, drawing circles on them with her thumbs. "I saw your hesitation whenever I expressed my love and affection. I thought that maybe you never see me that way. I'm afraid, if I tell you that I knew, whatever we had going on would change. I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to leave me."
"I thought that, if I just keep being clueless, it will be fine for the both of us. You would still be my fiancée, we could marry and just be together. Maybe, I was being unfair to you. I know that maybe you want something else. Not this. That's why I'm scared. You'd probably want to leave me." She started crying again. "I love you so much, Resse. In my heart, it's always been you. No one else."
"You.." I lifted my hand and wiped some of her tears. My heart was doing a flip inside of me. I couldn't explain how much her words impacted my emotions and feelings. "I won't leave you, Evi."
"You won't?" She looked hopeful. I couldn't imagine how much she had to endure all of this time. It wasn't just me that was tortured by guilt and fear. She was too. We were just a bunch of people that kept secrets from each other. I wonder if any of us came forth and said the truth, we might not reach this state.
"I won't. I never wanted to leave back then either." I exhaled and smiled weakly at her. She returned the smile and kissed my cheek wetly. She was still crying. "In fact, I'm the one that scared you would leave me. I.. I thought I'm just a replacement. That you will never look at me as me because I thought you were in love with the other Resse. So, when you found out the truth, you might dump me."
"Oh Resse.." She chuckled. "We're so silly. If only we come clean to each other sooner.. Oh dear.."
"We're a bunch of idiots." I laughed silently. She nodded.
"I owe you the explanation of everything. I promised you after all."
"Alright. I'm listening." She settled in beside me, holding me close, finding comfort in my body's warmth. Oh gosh, this was pure bliss.
I started the story. How I somehow ended up in this world after consuming a glowing plant. My first encounter with the god and I received the other Resse's memories. Then, my reunion with Teacher Rossa and how everything was unveiled from there. I told her about my grandmother. I briefly explained how we hunted the Dark Side. I didn't want to worry her more by the gruesome details of the battle we went through. Then, I concluded it with my last talk with the god and then cleaning off the remaining members of the Dark Side.
"That.. That's a lot." She commented after I finished. She had a serious look on her face, trying to take it all in. "I think I know what the gift the god gave you, well to us."
"What is it?"
"I heard your voice calling for me."
"My voice?"
"You were pleading. You said you want to see me. I can feel you. That's how I can be here as soon as possible without anyone informing me beforehand." She smiled. She turned her body to face me so that we faced each other properly. She put a hand on my chest. "Don't you feel it? The connection between us?"
"This.." So, this cool sensation I felt wasn't due to her healing power. It was the connection between us. I closed my eyes, focusing on it. It brought me comfort and happiness.
"We're connected by a thread of fate." She said gently. I opened my eyes and gazed right into her bright blue eyes.
"I love you, Evi." I finally able to say these words. There was nothing holding me back anymore. I could finally expressed my feelings without feeling guilty. Evi was surprised and her eyes became glassy again, overwhelmed by emotions. "I love you so much."
I leaned in and kissed her. This was my first time initiating a kiss. I wanted to express my feelings through this kiss. I felt a little stiff. This was my first time kissing someone after all. Evi responded to it with a smile on her lips. She pulled me closer. The next moment was amazing. Our lips were moving in sync with each other. Now that we established that our feelings were mutual, there was no holding us back anymore. We broke away to catch our breath. That was intense. Our faces were flustered and she looked so gorgeous. Oh gosh, I'm so in love with her.
*
"Our relationship turned toxic. I knew that but I couldn't just end it. I was also at fault for using her." She told me. "I know she wasn't you and I've been treating her like a stand in for you. She was aware of it. She knew that I'd never love her. That was why she was like that. I couldn't hate her. I made her like that. She was angry and desperate. I should've let her go but I didn't. I couldn't end our relationship. Even if she wasn't you, at least I could pretend that she was."
"I was cruel to her. I used her wishes to break free from my duty. She has been my outlet to project my own selfishness." She sighed heavily. She looked down, fiddling with her fingers. "I wish I can apologise to her for what I did all these years. She had been nothing but sincere with her feelings and I took advantage of it. She knew that I was never in love with her. That was why she was always insecure of our relationship. She became desperate and obsessive. It was my fault. I made her that way."
"Do you hate me now?" She asked, unable to look me in the eyes.
"Although, I don't agree with what you've done, there's no way I'd hate you, Evi." I responded truthfully. I felt sorry for my alternate self. She had been through a lot too. I didn't know if she was still alive in the other world. If she did, I hope she found happiness. "Evi, I don't love you because you're perfect. I love you despite your imperfections. All of us have our wrongdoings, who am I to judge you for your mistakes when I made mistakes too. I know you're regretting what you did. You're willing to admit your faults and want to be better. I love you for that."
"I can't say for sure what would my alternate self says. I'm not sure if she wants to forgive you but I know for sure that you're genuinely feeling sorry and regret your faults. I can't get angry at you too. You.. Well, thank you for loving me all of this time, Evi."
"You're too good to me." She was about to cry again.
"Hey now, I didn't mean to make you cry again." I reached out to hold her hand. She squished my hand back.
"No, this is my happy tears." She smiled.
"You're such a crybaby." I teased.
"I'm not." She denied, looking away from me and wiped her tears hastily.
"Maybe." I smirked. She playfully glared at me.
"You're the only one that made me cry." She pointed out.
"Ah, I did." I nodded in acknowledgement. "Sorry for that."
"It's fine, you're cute. So I don't mind." She added cheekily. I laughed in amusement.
"Are you sure you're okay? I know your power can overwhelm you. You should be resting too." I looked at her seriously. Her face was still pale and she still looked exhausted. The Corrosion Curse wasn't an ordinary curse. It must have been tough for her to cure it.
"I'm fine. Just tired. Nothing alarming. Good sleep will put me right back." She grinned, trying to ease my worry.
"Then, come lie down beside me." I offered the spot next to me on the bed.
I was moved to the bedroom from the medical bay. I couldn't walk properly yet. My body was still so weak. So I've been on bed rest until I could stand up without falling over. Evi was meticulous to aid my every need. From bathing, changing and even eating. Even though she wasn't even well herself, she stubbornly looked after me.
"I won't leave, Evi. Come here and sleep. I'll be there when you wake up, I promise." I said.
"Alright." She finally gave in and laid down beside me. I laid down on my side and gathered her into my arms. "You're not hurting your body like this right?"
"Evi, my body is just weak, not in pain. Don't you want me to cuddle you to sleep?"
"No, I love your cuddles." She relaxed and leaned into me, nuzzling her head at the crook of my neck. I chuckled because her hair tickled me. She sighed in content. I stroked her head gently, she practically melted in my arms.
"Sleep well, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed the top of her head. She nodded and closed her eyes.
She was reluctant to sleep. Afraid that my return was all just a dream. She didn't want to wake up and find that I was gone. I felt guilty. I wanted to assure her that I wasn't going to leave. I wanted to stay with her. I wanted her to sleep without worries. To be peaceful that everything was alright. I wanted to love and care for her well.
I smiled to myself. Never in my wildest dream that I would feel this strong for anyone. I thought that I was incapable of loving someone. It turned out, the one that own my heart was at a different world. It was a shame that we got separated for so long. I wanted to cherish every moment we have together right now.