Two days later, *One Piece* world, Longhu Mountain.
*"Hey, old man, what are you staring at? Gin-san didn't come here to see your wrinkly face. Move aside."*
Lu Jing stared at the man in front of him—silver-haired, naturally curly, slouching lazily while picking his nose—and said in a deep voice, *"So you're Sakata Gintoki? The good-for-nothing slacker who flirts with young girls all day?"*
*"Pfft—"* Gintoki flicked a booger at Lu Jing's face and scoffed, *"Listen here, old man. Just because you're Linglong's great-grandpa doesn't mean Gin-san won't beat you up. Gin-san likes Linglong, not some stinky geezer like you."*
***BAM!***
Lu Linglong punched Gintoki into the ground and roared, *"White-haired idiot! Even if my great-grandpa *does* skip washing his feet before bed, you can't just say that to his face!"*
*"Heh heh heh..."*
Lu Jing's eye twitched as he watched his beloved granddaughter. Ever since she joined that so-called "chat group," she'd become increasingly disrespectful—even trying to steal family heirlooms to sell for points in some "shop."
What pissed him off even more was that every time he tried to discipline her, she'd retort: *"Great-grandpa, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I've got a Saiyan backing me now. Know what a Saiyan is? They can blow up planets—blah blah blah—"*
Sighing internally, Lu Jing turned his gaze toward the young man currently *flirting* with two girls nearby.
*"Aside from the tail, he doesn't look special. Is he really that strong?"*
Just as Lu Jing was lost in thought, Su Xiaoqi, Zhu Zhuqing, and Tokisaki Kurumi approached him.
*"Old man, you've been staring at me for a while. Just so we're clear—I'm not into you."*
Tokisaki Kurumi smirked. *"Old man, I suggest you abandon any foolish ideas. This man is beyond your reach."*
Zhu Zhuqing shot Kurumi a glare. *"He's also beyond *yours*."*
Lu Jing wanted to scream. *Did none of these chat group members know basic manners?!*
*"Whatever. I'm the elder here. No point arguing with kids."*
Having convinced himself, Lu Jing turned to Su Xiaoqi. *"Has Linglong caused you any trouble in that chat group? I spoiled her rotten, so please bear with her."*
Su Xiaoqi glanced at Lu Linglong, who was currently *lecturing* Gintoki, and grinned. *"Old man, your granddaughter's great—just a bit too mischievous. My advice? Beat her more often."*
Zhu Zhuqing and Kurumi both twitched. This guy *really* held a grudge. Ever since he posted that embarrassing photo of Linglong in the group, she and Nami had teamed up to verbally roast him nonstop.
Lu Jing sighed. *"I can't control her anymore. She keeps threatening to have you blow up Earth if I discipline her. What am I supposed to do?"*
*"...But, hypothetically, *can* you actually do that?"*
Su Xiaoqi smirked inwardly. *This old fox was testing him.*
*"Tell you what—seeing is believing. Let's take a little trip."*
Lu Jing blinked, then burst into laughter. *"Fine! This old man could use some exercise anyway."*
---
Thirty minutes later, Su Xiaoqi and Lu Jing returned—arm in arm, like old buddies.
*"Xiaoqi, you're absolutely right. I *did* spoil Linglong too much. I love her, but sometimes, a good spanking is necessary."*
*"Exactly, old man. A few beatings will straighten her right out."*
*"Xiaoqi, feel free to go wild during the Luo Tian Da Jiao. With you here, I'm not worried at all! Hahaha!"*
*"Sure thing. We hit it off pretty well. Want me to arrange a *friendly spar* with the Heavenly Teacher for you?"*
Lu Linglong turned to Zhu Zhuqing, wide-eyed. *"Zhuqing... did I just hear them plotting to beat me?"*
Zhu Zhuqing opened her mouth but said nothing. *You heard it yourself—why ask me?*
Lu Jing marched over to his granddaughter, stern-faced. *"Linglong, from now on, you *will* treat Xiaoqi with respect. If you misbehave, I *will* spank you."*
Su Xiaoqi waved a stack of papers in front of her. *"Linglong, I stayed up all night writing this script for you. You're the *lead actress*."*
*"Stick with me, and you'll thrive. Stick with Nami, and all you'll get is empty trash talk. Think carefully."*
*"I—"*
Lu Linglong's eyes darted between her great-grandpa and Su Xiaoqi. Her instincts screamed that siding with Nami would end *very* badly.
*"Sorry, Nami... but the enemy's tactics are too cunning."*
After a brief hesitation, Lu Linglong flashed a sweet smile. *"Nami tricked me! I'm back on your side now. Just tell me how to mess with her, and I'll do it!"*
Su Xiaoqi nodded in satisfaction. *"Smart girl. Now... how about proving your loyalty?"*
Lu Linglong grinned. *"Consider it done."*
---
**[Lu Linglong]:** @Nami, how *dare* you speak ill of Su Xiaoqi! He's a saint! I was *fooled* into helping you. We're *through*!
**[Nami]:** Oh, *hell no*. Rewind to two days ago—what did *you* say?! If he's blackmailing you, just type *1*. I won't blame you.
**[Lu Linglong]:** There's *no* blackmail! Stop twisting things! I've *seen the light*! (*Serious face.jpg*)
**[Nami]:** Ohhh, *that's* how you wanna play? Don't come crying to me later.
**[Nami]:** @Su Xiaoqi, you too! Open a livestream right now—let's see what shady deal you made!
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** Busy. No time for you.
**[Notification: Sakata Gintoki has started a livestream.]**
**[Sakata Gintoki]:** Nami-chan! Gin-san is *always* on your side! I'll expose Su Xiaoqi's crimes!
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** Damn, this stream's *quality* is top-notch. God's-eye view and everything. Five stars.
**[Himejima Shūra]:** Ara~, so *this* is what everyone looks like. @Tokisaki Kurumi, you're even *smaller* than I imagined.
**[Tokisaki Kurumi]:** *Die.*
**[Kashiwazaki Sena]:** Everyone's so pretty! I'll work hard to trigger quests so you can visit me!
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** @Su Xiaoqi, I'm curious about this world's abilities. Will there be matches today?
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** Just registration and draws today. Matches start tomorrow—I'll stream then.
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** Then I shall await tomorrow with anticipation.
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Sigh.*
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** Minato, you've sighed *hundreds* of times these past two days. Once someone pulls a *revival card* or similar ability, you can do whatever you want. But you've gotta *commit*.
**[Namikaze Minato]:** I know. But it *hurts*. Why would the Third Hokage treat Naruto like that? What did he *do wrong*? If Kushina saw this... she'd *raze* Konoha.
**[Aizen Sōsuke]:** Power. Nothing more. He's no different from the Central 46 in my world.
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** Aizen's right. Don't overthink it now. At least your son stayed true to himself.
**[Namikaze Minato]:** I *know*... but imagining Naruto eating *expired food*, being hated as the *Nine-Tails*, having *no friends*—it *stabs* my heart.
**[Namikaze Minato]:** Damn you, Hiruzen! Damn you, Danzō! *How could you?!*
**[Kuroba Kaito]:** Fourth Hokage... are you *turning dark*?
**[Namikaze Minato]:** *Heh.* The title *Fourth Hokage* is a *joke* now. I gave my life for Konoha—and it *betrayed* my son.
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** Minato, we can't *fix* this for you. But remember—you're part of *our* group now. Your problems are *ours*... and we *do* love points.
**[Nami]:** *Points* are your *real* goal, aren't they?!
**[Namikaze Minato]:** Points don't matter. I just want to *see* Naruto. To be the father I *failed* to be.
**[Su Xiaoqi]:** @Nami, *shut it.* @Lu Linglong, ignore her. Show us around Longhu Mountain.
**[Lu Linglong]:** *Yes, sir~!*
**[Nami]:** *Grrr!*
---
Lu Linglong clapped her hands. *"Alright, everyone! Let's go meet my bestie, Huā'er, then tour the mountain!"*
Gintoki pumped his fists. *"Finally! Huā'er-chan, Gin-san's *here*!"*
Zhu Zhuqing whispered to Su Xiaoqi, *"What *did* you do with that old man earlier?"*
Su Xiaoqi smirked. *"Oh, nothing much. Just blew up a mountain."*