Just as Yue carved out the last chunk of mutant wolf flesh and dropped it into the bloodstained sack, a soft digital ping echoed in Lin's ears.
Then—
"Tadaaa~! Congrats, perv-boy~"
A flickering hologram snapped into view beside him, forcing him to flinch backward and nearly fall on his ass. E.S.I. hovered in midair, arms crossed under her modest chest, her twin blue ponytails bouncing with bratty energy.
"W-what the fuck—Esi?! Don't just pop up like that!" Lin hissed, face flushed as he scrambled back up.
Yuzuki looked over in confusion. "Producer-sama~? Are you okay~?"
"Y-yeah! I-I was just… uh… mumbling. To myself! About the… meat. Yeah."
Esi rolled her eyes, floating upside down now. "Relax, dumbass. Just here to tell you—you completed your first quest. Congrats~ You've officially hit Level 1!"
Lin blinked. "Wait. But I didn't kill it. Yue did."
Esi grinned. "And who does Yue belong to?"
"…Wha—what?"
"She's your servant, remember? That means anything she kills while under your command counts toward your quest progression. You're welcome, Captain Virgin."
"I-I'm not—! Tch—fine, whatever…" He mumbled, glancing away as his cheeks darkened. "…Thanks, Yue."
Yue, still emotionless as ever, gave a curt nod from the side. "Affirmative."
Esi spun midair and snapped her fingers. "Anyway~ Let's get to the juicy part! Your first GACHA PERK CHOICE!"
With a flash of digital light, three semi-transparent panels shimmered into existence before Lin's face, each one pulsing with soft neon glows. Timer in the corner: 2:59... 2:58... 2:57...
"Wh-what the hell?!"
"You've got three minutes," Esi chirped. "Pick one, or the system rolls for you. Don't bitch later if you end up with 'Perpetual Erection Mode' or something equally cursed."
He squinted at the panels, muttering each one out loud.
[A] Hulk Mode Lv1 – Temporarily mutate for 1 minute. Massive strength boost. Afterwards, lose consciousness for the rest of the day. 72-hour cooldown.
[B] Master Builder Lv1 – Gain the ability to assemble structures telekinetically… only for objects lighter than 1kg.
[C] Master of Arms Lv1 – Enables local weapon telekinesis. Float weapons within a 1-meter radius. Can control enemy weapons if your Power Level is higher.
"…What the fuck is this bullshit…" Lin muttered.
"Hey," Esi said, waggling a finger. "It's gacha, baby. No takebacks."
He scratched his head, pacing in a circle now. "Okay okay—Hulk Mode sounds cool, but passing out? In this world? One minute of badassery for a whole day of being defenseless? Nuh uh."
Yue glanced at him subtly. "Your heart rate has increased."
Lin jumped. "Sh-shut up!"
He turned back to the next one. "Master Builder… okay, that's just building with brainpower. Sounds kind of useless unless I want to make a LEGO house. One kilogram limit? The fuck am I gonna build—an IKEA bookshelf?"
"Think of the possibilities," Esi teased. "One plastic spoon at a time."
Lin made a strangled groan, then looked at the last one.
"Master of Arms… hover weapons… if power level's higher, I can control enemy weapons too?"
"Mmhm~" Esi winked. "Imagine some smug bastard aiming a shotgun at you—and zip! It flies out of his hands like magic. You look cool. The girls get wet. Everybody wins~!"
Lin coughed violently, face turning beet red. "C-Can you not say that while they're like… ten feet away?!"
"Oh right, they can't see me~" she said, floating upside-down again with her tongue out. "Only you can hear me, loser."
The timer ticked: 0:41… 0:40…
"Shit, okay! I pick—uhh—Master of Arms Lv1! Final answer!"
DING.
The selected panel flashed gold, then disappeared with a satisfying chime. A sudden warmth surged through Lin's chest, like his sternum had just been pumped with Red Bull and Wi-Fi.
A line of digital text scrolled across his vision:
Skill Acquired: [Master of Arms Lv1]
Weapon manipulation radius unlocked: 1 meter.
Warning: Power level comparison required for enemy weapon control.
Lin gasped. "Holy shit… I-I feel it… like… like I could actually do something now…"
Esi floated in close and whispered, "Congrats, simp-sama~ Now maybe you'll stop hiding behind the girls and learn to swing your own dick—I mean sword."
He scowled. "You're the worst support interface ever."
"I'm the only support interface you'll ever have, babe~ So get used to it." She grinned wickedly, then added, "And don't worry, you'll get more gacha perks every time you level up—assuming you don't die first."
Lin's lips twisted into a nervous half-smile as the adrenaline cooled.
He had his first perk.
He wasn't just dead weight anymore.
...Kind of.
"Wait," Lin said, still catching his breath from the surge of energy from the perk. "That's it? I just get the one perk?"
E.S.I. rolled her eyes so hard her whole holographic body spun like a ballerina on fast-forward.
"God, you're such a noob," she groaned. "That was just the first part of your level-up, Captain Virgin."
Lin winced. "Can you stop calling me that?"
"Nope." She grinned. "Anyway, every time you level up, your base stats increase a bit across the board—like, automatically. Yay, participation trophy!"
"Wait, for real?"
"Yup. Check it out."
She snapped her fingers, and the blue holographic system menu flickered back to life in front of his face.
[Lin Feng - Level 1]
Strength: 5 → 6
Agility: 5 → 6
Stamina: 5 → 6
Speed: 20 → 21
Defense: 1 → 2
Health: 50 → 60
Health Regen: 0.5 → 0.6 HP/hr
Stamina Regen: 0.5 →0.6/hr
Libido: 1 min
Size: 5 cm
"...Okay, so I get a tiny buff to everything."
E.S.I. gave him a finger-gun and winked. "Welcome to bare minimum RPG progression™, loser!"
He sighed. "Yeah, that tracks…"
"BUT," she added, floating upside-down again, "you also get this!"
Another trio of glowing icons popped into the air like jackpot results on a cursed slot machine.
🎲 STAT GACHAPick one of the following:
+10% Max Health
+10% Movement Speed
+10% Strength
Lin's eyes widened. "Wait—wait, wait—this is another gacha? For stats?"
"Bingo~" E.S.I. said, voice dripping with mock suspense. "One of these babies every time you level up. Choose wisely, because no rerolls, no do-overs, and if you regret your choice later, I will laugh."
He scratched his head, heart thudding. "Shit… alright, alright…"
He stared at the three options like his life depended on it.
+10% Max Health"Sounds kinda nice… but will it really matter if I get one-shot by a mutant bear anyway?"
+10% Strength"Hmm… maybe good for carrying shit, or fighting? But I'm still a weakling. Five more won't suddenly make me Captain Fucking America."
+10% Movement Speed"…That's it? Just one percent?"
He chewed his lip.
"Okay… But speed… that might actually help in a tight spot. And if I keep stacking it, maybe I'll get fast enough to not die like a bitch."
"You've got ten seconds," E.S.I. sang.
"Wait, what? Fuck—fine, fine—I choose movement speed! One percent!"
DING!
The other two choices vanished into pixel dust. A soft glow passed through his legs and calves, making him stumble.
"W-whoa—didn't expect that to feel like I chugged an energy drink straight through my kneecaps…"
A small system notification pinged in his vision:
+10% Movement Speed Gained.New Speed: 21 → 23.1Total Power Level: 86 → 101Tier Up: F → E
"H-holy shit!" he gasped. "My power level just—!"
"DING DING DINGGGGG!" E.S.I. announced like a game show host. "Congrats, Lin Feng! You've officially broken free from F-tier LOSER HELL and entered the fabulous realm of E-tier mediocrity! Clap for him, ladies!"
Lin glanced nervously toward the girls a few meters away. Thankfully, they were still going through the mutant wolf's corpse.
"C-can you not say that out loud?!"
E.S.I. floated in lazy circles around him, smug as hell. "Now you're not at the absolute bottom of the food chain. You're just… mostly bottom."
"Gee, thanks…"
"Just don't forget," she said, suddenly serious, floating in close to eye-level. "Every quest gives you exp. Every level gives you another perk gacha and stat gacha. But fuck up a quest?"
Her expression turned deadly sweet.
"You get penalties instead. Sometimes mild. Sometimes... well, let's just say you'll wish it was just physical pain."
Lin swallowed hard. "...No pressure."
"None at all~" she beamed. "Now get out there and do something useful before the girls start asking why their 'captain' is whispering to imaginary friends again."
He muttered, "Dismiss."
E.S.I. vanished with a cheeky wink.
Lin stared at the space she had been hovering, heart still racing.
He was now Level 1. He had his first perk. His first stat upgrade. A tiny spark of hope flickered inside him.
It wasn't much.
But it was something.
Q: Which skills and stats would you choose?