Chapter 33: The Collector's Conundrum (and the Case of the Missing Hamster) – Or, "Turns Out, Space Hoarders Are Just as Annoying as Earth Ones."
The retrieved Kree artifact, while not an Infinity Stone itself, pulsed with residual energy signatures consistent with the Power Stone. This confirmed their fears: Thanos was active, and he was hunting. Their next lead came from a nervous Nova Corps informant, who whispered about a recent, hushed transaction on Knowhere, the bizarre, severed head of a Celestial transformed into a mining colony and trading hub. The buyer: Taneleer Tivan, the Collector.
' The Collector. Oh, this is going to be good. A literal space hoarder. His entire life is collecting oddities. So, what better way to get his attention, and maybe some intel, than to make a few of his precious oddities… disappear? Or swap them with something utterly ridiculous. This is my natural habitat. '
Tony, convinced Tivan might have knowledge of the Power Stone's whereabouts (or even the Stone itself), assembled a small, stealth team: himself, Natasha, and Adam. Knowhere was a hub of eccentricities, a perfect place for Adam to blend in, and cause strategic havoc.
"Alright, Stiels," Tony briefed him on the sleek Stark jet as they approached Knowhere. "Tivan is… unique. He's a cosmic hoarder. Highly intelligent, incredibly rich, and notoriously paranoid about his collection. Don't touch anything."
"My word, Tony," Adam replied, adjusting a small, intricate alien trinket he'd just "acquired" from the jet's display cabinet (it was back moments later, replaced by a tiny, glowing rubber duck). "You wound me. I'm a professional. I merely observe. And occasionally, I enhance the observational experience. For all parties involved."
Knowhere was a chaotic spectacle. Aliens of every conceivable shape and size bartered, gambled, and sometimes brawled. The air was thick with strange odors and stranger languages. Tivan's grand archive, his museum of cosmic curiosities, dominated the skyline.
Their plan was simple: Natasha would create a diversion, drawing Tivan's attention, while Tony attempted to hack into Tivan's data network to search for transactions related to the Power Stone. Adam's role was "support," which for him meant "cause as much subtle, infuriating chaos as possible."
Natasha approached Tivan, engaging him in a lengthy, overly dramatic negotiation for a fake, priceless artifact. Tivan, captivated by the prospect of a new acquisition, was distracted. Tony, meanwhile, found a discreet access port.
Adam, however, moved through the collection, eyes gleaming. He was like a kid in a cosmic candy store. He spotted a jar containing a "sentient fungal colony," currently engaged in a silent argument with itself. With a subtle flick of his wrist, he opened his Portable Hole. The fungal colony, jar and all, vanished. In its place, Adam subtly swapped in a much larger, perfectly normal earth fungus – a particularly pungent mushroom from Newt's Suitcase.
A moment later, a small, squeaky voice from Tivan's comms blared: "Master! The sentient fungal colony has been replaced by… a far less intelligent, and frankly, rather smelly, terrestrial mushroom! And it's arguing with itself in a completely different dialect!"
Tivan, mid-bargain with Natasha, paused. "What?! Impossible! My collection is inviolable!" He glanced over, seeing the mundane mushroom. His eye twitched.
Adam then spotted a display case containing what was labeled, in a thousand languages, as "The Last Remaining Xylian Space Hamster." It was tiny, fluffy, and completely motionless.
' Oh, you poor little guy. Trapped in a jar. Let's fix that. '
He used his Portable Hole again. The hamster, jar and all, vanished. This time, he didn't replace it with anything. Just a perfectly empty pedestal.
"Master! The Last Remaining Xylian Space Hamster has… vanished!" the comms voice shrieked. "There is nothing left but… a faint odor of timidity and existential dread!"
Tivan roared, abandoning Natasha completely. He stormed over to the empty pedestal. "Impossible! My hamster! My precious, unique specimen! Gone!" His usually placid demeanor cracked, replaced by frantic disbelief.
As Tivan spiraled into a collector's existential crisis, Natasha subtly pointed him towards a far corner of his collection. "Perhaps it's a new form of camouflage, Collector? A highly evolved form of invisibility?" she suggested, knowing full well Adam was responsible.
Adam, meanwhile, was using his Enhanced Hypnosis (Subtle Mental Suggestion). He gently nudged Tivan's overwhelmed mind. Tivan suddenly stopped his frantic search for the hamster. His eyes glazed over slightly, and he became utterly fixated on a particularly drab, seemingly insignificant rock in a distant display case.
"The… the grey rock," Tivan murmured, transfixed. "So… unadorned. So… understated. It holds… a profound beauty. I must… catalogue its every minute imperfection! Its sheer… rock-ness!" He ignored the rest of his collection, completely absorbed in the mundane stone.
' Perfect. A cosmic hoarder obsessed with a rock. That'll keep him busy. For at least an hour. Which is all we need. '
While Tivan was busy communing with his new favorite rock, Tony successfully hacked Tivan's data network. He found no direct evidence of the Power Stone, but discovered encrypted logs detailing a recent sale of "highly volatile cosmic energy containment units" to an "unregistered cosmic entity operating in the dark sectors." It wasn't a direct hit, but it confirmed Thanos was active, and close.
As they made their escape, leaving Tivan muttering sweet nothings to his grey rock, Adam felt a profound satisfaction. He had helped secure crucial intel, created a memorable distraction, and given a space hamster its freedom (it was currently enjoying a rather spacious, albeit dark, new home in Adam's Portable Hole, along with the former HYDRA agents and a surprisingly large collection of lint).
"Stiels," Tony said, shaking his head as they boarded their ship, "I don't know whether to hire you or commit you. What did you do to Tivan?"
"Just helped him appreciate the simple things in life, Tony," Adam replied, wiping his hands. "Sometimes, a rock is just a rock. And sometimes, a missing space hamster is just… karma."
The mission was a success. They had new leads on Thanos, and Tivan was left with a very public, very confusing hole in his collection, and an inexplicable obsession with a mundane grey rock. The galaxy had just learned that when Adam Stiels comes to town, even the most meticulous hoarders aren't safe from a bit of playful, property-displacing chaos. And somewhere, a little Xylian Space Hamster was enjoying a dark, quiet reprieve from constant exhibition.
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