"Iori, don't blame me — I had no choice. I'll buy you dinner next time we meet...."
Somewhere in the shrubbery of Izu University's campus, Sebastian was crouched in hiding, muttering to himself while carefully peering out between the branches.
A police car sat parked outside the academic building. Two officers stood beside it, stopping and questioning students as they passed.
"It was just a misunderstanding. Why are they still here making such a production of it?"
Sebastian grumbled inwardly. But with things as they were, all he could do was stay tucked in here and wait for the police to leave on their own.
At that moment, he heard rustling from the shrubbery directly behind him.
"Who's there?!" Sebastian startled, assuming some officer had tracked him down. He grabbed a fistful of dirt from the ground, ready to throw it for cover and run.
"Hm? That voice sounds familiar. Doesn't matter — this spot looks like it'll do for hiding...."
The person trying to get in was mumbling to themselves.
Before the newcomer could finish squeezing through, Sebastian seized his moment, flung the dirt straight at the intruder's eyes, and spun to bolt.
"OW ow ow ow ahhhh—!!"
A very familiar howl erupted from behind him.
That voice—
Sebastian's feet slowed mid-stride. He turned around.
It was Iori — the very person he'd been thinking about moments ago — now rolling around in the bushes with both hands over his eyes.
"Why is it him?" Sebastian pressed a hand to his forehead. With Iori making that much noise, the officers would find them in short order.
Still — the state Iori was in, desperately trying to hide like this — the most likely explanation was that Sebastian himself was somehow involved.
"Iori. Keep it down. I'll get you somewhere safer."
In the end, Sebastian decided he still had at least some conscience remaining. He clapped one hand over Iori's howling mouth, grabbed him with the other, and half-dragged him in a low crouch through the undergrowth toward another cluster of bushes.
Fortunately the transfer went without serious incident. The officers heard the noise and came to check, but found only the flattened grass where Iori had been rolling around.
Once Sebastian was satisfied they were safe, he let out a long breath and sat down on the ground — and released Iori, whose eyes had been rolling back from having his mouth covered for so long.
"Stay quiet. The officers haven't left yet."
"Uuugh.... Thank you, Sebastian. You're genuinely a good person."
Iori crouched beside him, wiping his eyes and regarding Sebastian with heartfelt gratitude.
"I know I'm a good person. Ahem — anyway, look at the state of you. What exactly happened?"
Sebastian asked the question with the air of someone who had absolutely no idea.
"How should I know! I was just trying to borrow some clothes from Chisa, and out of nowhere a police officer walked up, grabbed me, and started firing questions at me for no reason, then tried to bring me in — I only just managed to get away.... Actually, Sebastian, why are you hiding?"
"Er...." Sebastian choked on the question, then caught himself and put on an expression of wounded indignation.
"I go out of my way to help you shake the police, and you turn around and interrogate me? See if I bother next time."
"Ah, I'm sorry, truly — if it's awkward I won't ask."
Iori, fresh from being rescued by Sebastian, wisely kept his head down — the last thing he wanted was Sebastian bolting out and giving away their position.
What he didn't know, of course, was that Sebastian was even more afraid of giving away their position than he was.
The two of them stared at each other in silence for roughly five minutes until their hammering hearts had settled enough to think clearly, and two perfectly upstanding university students could begin considering their next move.
"Hey Sebastian, could you lend me a sh—" Iori's sentence stopped halfway as he noticed Sebastian's equally bare torso.
"You want this?" Sebastian winced as he peeled the cartoon sticker off his chest and held it out.
"I'm good, thanks." Iori's eye twitched and he waved it away immediately.
"Don't underestimate that sticker. Just a moment ago, it basically saved my life."
Sebastian turned it over in his hand with genuine feeling, then stuck it onto the seat of his beach shorts.
"Sebastian, what on earth did you go through today?" Iori muttered.
"Never mind that. The point is — if we want to get out of this cleanly, we need to find at least two shirts, right?"
"Wait — Sebastian, are you being hunted by the police too?" It dawned on Iori only now that Sebastian's situation seemed remarkably similar to his own.
"Our reasons are probably different, but the solution's the same either way."
Sebastian shrugged, then turned and carefully parted the shrubbery to look outside.
His gaze caught on something. In front of the academic building, a short-haired chestnut-brown girl was walking alone, her expression thunderous.
"Hey — Iori, isn't that your cousin? You two are so close — what if I called her over and asked her to find us something to wear?"
"What?! No, no, absolutely not, Sebastian — I'm fairly sure she's the one who called that officer over in the first place. And what gave you the idea we're close? She's been looking at me like garbage since yesterday!"
"But I could have sworn I just saw you two in the corridor...."
Sebastian caught himself mid-sentence and stopped, before Iori could start tracing the cause of his police troubles back to anyone in particular.
"Ahem."
He cleared his throat. "If that's a dead end — is there anyone else you know here? Could you call someone to bring us some clothes?"
"Are you joking? I came here from out of town, same as you. Outside of you and those two third-years, I don't know a single other person."
"Then call the seniors. Have them get something ready — we'll go lie low at their place for a bit." Sebastian waved impatiently.
"Oh — that's actually not a bad idea."
Iori dug his phone out of his beach shorts and started calling the upperclassmen.
While Iori did that, Sebastian — still watching through the gap in the bushes — went still again.
"He's actually fine.... Is that guy's head really that hard?"
Coming into view was none other than Kōhei Imamura — the obsessive shut-in who had tried to drive a pin through Sebastian's chest and, for his trouble, had been punched headfirst into a ceiling.
Imamura was swaying slightly as he walked, looking rather dazed and the worse for wear. The enormous anime print on his shirt swayed with each step, impossible to miss.
"He's wearing a shirt though...." Sebastian stroked his chin, and something calculating crept into his gaze.