After delivering his declaration to the world, Sebastian felt thoroughly satisfied.
Then he turned around, and found that every student who had been standing nearby had taken a synchronized step back and was looking at him with a deeply peculiar expression.
In the open space outside the school gates, a terrible silence fell.
"Sebastian, calm down! The way you're acting right now is making even me cringe!"
Iori, who moments ago had been face-down on the ground in the throes of severe nausea, somehow found the strength to leap upright and clap a hand over Sebastian's mouth.
"What? Was there something wrong with what I said? I was simply announcing my presence to the new world."
Sebastian peeled Iori's hand away and turned to the two upperclassmen behind them, who looked considerably more composed.
"I mean, if it were just the words, it'd be fine. Chunnibyou at worst."
Kotobuki stood with his arms folded, eyes barely open.
"But given that you're currently dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts, I'd suggest making a run for the school building. Someone may already be calling the police."
Tokita turned and pointed out a cluster of girls standing off to one side who appeared to be quietly filming the scene on their phones.
There was also a group nearby whose intentions looked distinctly unfriendly — they seemed to be eyeing Sebastian, apparently considering whether to make trouble for the attention-grabbing newcomer.
However, with Kotobuki and Tokita standing directly behind Sebastian and Iori, those would-be troublemakers hadn't actually worked up the nerve to approach.
"That's not fair — you're all dressed exactly the same as me! Why am I the only one getting the looks?!"
"Because you made a spectacle of yourself. As a new student just starting out, keeping a low profile is the smarter move — it keeps trouble from finding you. Consider that a small piece of advice from a senior."
Kotobuki continued with arms folded.
"Unless, of course, you've reached the point where you can punch your way through any problem that comes at you. In that case, do whatever you like." Tokita flexed his bicep by way of illustration.
The two of them bouncing off each other like that left Sebastian with absolutely nothing to say.
"Alright, it's getting close to time. Iori, take Sebastian inside — it's a bit too sad watching Sebastian embarrass himself out here all on his own."
"What the seniors mean," Iori said flatly, "is that if I'm out here embarrassing myself alongside him, Sebastian doesn't look as pitiful by comparison."
"Exactly, Iori — come on, do something big and dramatic and take the heat off me!" Sebastian jumped in eagerly.
"Absolutely not. If you want to make a fool of yourself, you do it alone. I intend to enjoy the next four years of my university life properly!"
The two of them bickered their way into a scuffle — until a clear, unhurried bell rang out at just the right moment, pulling their attention, and everyone else's, away.
"Bell's rung. You two stop messing around and get to freshman registration. First day — try to make at least some effort."
"Yeah, yeah."
Sebastian's fist moved away from Iori's face. Iori withdrew his right knee from Sebastian's midsection.
"That's more like it. You're in the same department, and you're both Peek-a-Boo members — there's even a chance you'll end up in the same class. You'd do well to get along."
Kotobuki smiled and stepped between them.
"Hmph. I have no interest in talking to someone this childish and dramatic."
Iori turned away with a pout.
"And I have no interest in talking to someone so stingy he won't even introduce me to his cousin."
Sebastian shot back, thoroughly aggrieved.
"Still going, are you?" Iori's temper flared, and he looked very much ready to come to blows with Sebastian on the spot.
"Alright, alright — if you two keep at it you'll actually be late!"
....
"What a pain."
In the large lecture hall where the Mechanical Engineering freshmen were registering, Sebastian sat at the front desk, propping his cheek up on one hand and muttering quietly.
"Hah. If you think it's a pain, go home, pour a handful of rice over your head, and maybe you'll exorcise yourself." Iori, propping his own cheek on his opposite hand, muttered back just as quietly from his side.
Despite what their mouths were saying, the two of them were in fact sitting at the same desk — just facing opposite directions. By some unspoken mutual understanding.
Not that either of them was willing to admit it was because they didn't know a single other person in this room full of new students and had inevitably gravitated toward the only face they recognized.
Their cold war didn't last long, however, because Sebastian — still facing left — suddenly spoke.
"Hey, Iori. Why aren't there many girls in this class?"
"It's your first day and that's already where your head is? Why would you expect the female-to-male ratio in Mechanical Engineering to be high?"
"Engineering girls are cute too! Besides, I've gone over twenty years without ever being in a relationship. Now that I finally have a fresh start, is it so wrong to want to find a sweet, pretty, kind girl and have a proper romance?"
"Who cares about your problems? Someone like you, who nobody even likes — the idea that anyone would look twice at you is frankly unbelievable."
While the two of them continued sniping at each other in hushed voices, a conversation from some girls sitting at the back of the room drifted over.
"Look up front — there's a really good-looking guy over there."
"Where? Oh — there really is! Didn't expect to see someone like that here."
Sebastian sat up straighter at this, and his shirtless self unconsciously shifted into a more refined posture.
"Don't kid yourself. They're definitely not talking about you. Where does that confidence come from?"
Iori's merciless words successfully wiped the expression off Sebastian's face.
Just as Sebastian was considering testing his newly upgraded physique on Iori, he turned around — and found that the girls were genuinely, in fact, not looking at him.
He followed their line of sight across the room to the other half of the classroom.
Sitting there, alone, was a young man with long blond hair.
He sat by himself while the students around him exchanged introductions and greetings, head down, motionless.
Probably another out-of-towner who didn't know anyone either.
His long hair fell across one eye, which was arguably a waste, but it did nothing to diminish the fact that his features and build were genuinely striking.
"Didn't expect someone like that to be in our department...."
Hearing the resigned note in Sebastian's voice, Iori turned his head out of curiosity.
The blonde hair was hard to miss. Iori spotted who Sebastian was looking at immediately.
"Hm... he does stand out in a crowd, I'll give him that. His appeal to women is clearly several levels above yours, Sebastian..... wait."
Iori's sentence trailed off.
Because at that moment, the blond young man shifted slightly in his seat — and the enormous cartoon print on his T-shirt came into full view.
Iori didn't recognize the character. But it was, roughly speaking, a pink-haired little girl waving a fairy wand.
"Sebastian." Iori turned back to him, expression entirely serious. "I owe you an apology. You're actually, more or less, about half a normal person."
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