"Ugh.... Head's killing me. Going to be sick."
This was, by now, Sebastian's standard opening line — he'd lost count of how many times he'd said it.
He pried his eyes open slowly and found himself still lying on the floor of the dive shop, all limbs accounted for, with a white blanket draped over him that felt vaguely funerary.
He yanked the white cloth off and hauled himself upright. His legs weren't entirely cooperating, but he grabbed the sofa beside him and managed to stay standing.
At his feet, the upperclassmen he'd anesthetized were still out cold with their eyes rolled back — no sign of waking up any time soon.
Only then did he think to check his clothes, half-expecting them to have vanished mysteriously again like last time.
They hadn't. Everything was exactly where it was supposed to be, untouched — shirt, trousers, all present.
The same casual set the police had given him, as it happened.
"Oh, Sebastian, you're up."
He turned toward the familiar voice.
Kotobuki and Tokita were sitting on the sofa across from him, and wedged tightly between them was the same young man he'd spotted earlier — the one who'd fled through the door. Sebastian vaguely recalled a name being mentioned: Iori Kitahara. He gave him a nod in greeting.
"Rough time, wasn't it."
Iori Kitahara looked back at him with a pained expression and nodded in silent understanding.
"Tried to run. Got dragged back."
"Still though — I genuinely didn't see that coming," Kotobuki said with a booming laugh, one arm slung around Iori, the other hand giving Sebastian a thumbs-up. "Didn't think you had it in you, Sebastian. You single-handedly put every last one of those drunks on the floor."
"I don't think you two have any standing to call other people drunks," Sebastian said flatly.
"That said, those guys really couldn't hold their drink, could they. Going down that fast off that little — they've got a lot of training ahead of them." Tokita surveyed the bodies carpeting the floor and scratched his head with mild disappointment.
"I mean... I actually think the seniors did their best. They pushed through the anesthetic and still managed to say all those genuinely touching things...." Sebastian murmured.
"What was that?" Kotobuki hadn't caught it and looked over.
"Nothing. But this is still a business — having them all sprawled out on the floor like this isn't exactly great for the shop."
Sebastian changed the subject quickly.
"Oh, don't worry about that. Tokita and I will load them onto the flatbed one by one and drive them home. If they're this far gone, I guess the welcome party's off."
Tokita smiled and jangled a set of car keys.
"You two are actually responsible human beings?" Sebastian stared at them with a complicated expression.
Drinking with people like this — at least you probably didn't have to worry about what happened to you afterward.
What happened during, on the other hand, was a different matter entirely.
That thought led him to something Tokita had just said. Sebastian's head snapped up.
"Wait — about the welcome party.... Didn't we already have one? At noon? I only just woke up."
"Oh, you don't know? Right, I remember now — you were all still unconscious when the announcement was made."
Tokita gave his own head an apologetic smack, then without warning reached over and yanked Iori Kitahara — who had been doing his very best to disappear from existence — clean off the sofa.
"Whoa!" Iori yelped at the sudden grab.
"You're the only other one still conscious, so it doesn't hurt to go over the good news twice." Tokita smiled and steered Iori directly in front of Sebastian.
"Here — this is the other new member Peek-a-Boo landed this year. With you and Sebastian both joining, tonight's party is officially for the two of you. Go on — you're both freshmen, get properly acquainted."
Iori stumbled forward like a sheep being herded, and the two of them ended up face to face, staring at each other in complete silence. The awkwardness was reaching lethal levels.
"So — you got roped into this club too?"
Iori cleared his throat and broke the silence first, dropping his voice as he looked at Sebastian.
"It's Peek-a-Boo," Sebastian murmured helpfully.
"Hey, you two — if you still can't get our club's name right by tomorrow, I will be punishing you." Kotobuki, arms folded across his chest on the sofa, shot them a look of mild irritation.
"Joking, we were just joking — haha, ha...." Iori waved his hands in quick denial and successfully redirected the attention of the two predators who had been watching them.
This guy's got a quick mouth on him, Sebastian noted inwardly.
"Right then — proper introductions. I'm Iori Kitahara, first-year in Mechanical Engineering at Izu University. Good to meet you."
"Oh — same department, then. I'm Sebastian. Good to meet you too."
"Sebastian?"
Iori studied him with a slightly puzzled expression, seemed to think it over, and then couldn't help himself. "Did you used to work as a butler or something?"
I've never been a butler in my life! That's just some obnoxious little angel's idea of a joke!
Sebastian raged internally, but outwardly he could only manage a strained smile and a denial.
"Iori, don't let Sebastian's looks fool you. He's actually a foreign exchange student who came all the way across the ocean."
"And what exactly do you mean, 'don't let his looks fool you'?" Sebastian said, somewhat put out.
"Heh heh heh.... Fresh-faced college boys, aren't they. Right, Tokita?" Kotobuki grinned at the brown-bear-sized Tokita beside him.
Shouldn't you two take a moment to examine your own positions before saying things like that? You're college students too — just the kind that are so far gone you've started to rot.
Sebastian kept all of that safely behind his teeth. Saying it out loud would mean not walking out of this hall tonight.
"Alright, you two know each other now. If you've got freshman things to talk about, now's the time. Tokita and I will get everyone sent home, then come straight back and get the party started properly. We're heading out."
Kotobuki and Tokita said their goodbyes, then each hoisted a stack of unconscious club members and had the entire lot loaded onto the flatbed outside in no time at all.
Iori stared at the mountain of bodies piled high on the cart and shook his head slowly in quiet awe.
"Sebastian — do you think that's going to be us someday?"
Sebastian sighed at the worried words from beside him and gave a helpless shrug.
"Losing your mind to that degree takes a certain kind of talent. Fortunately, it seems like neither of us has that particular gift. We're just normal, perfectly well-adjusted college students, after all."
Iori considered this and nodded with genuine agreement.
That shared and harmonious understanding evaporated completely at the party Kotobuki and Tokita threw upon returning.
The party had barely started before Sebastian was standing there, staring blankly at Iori Kitahara — who was stark naked, had required no encouragement from anyone, and after approximately two sips had begun chugging vodka directly from the bottle on his own initiative.
Normal, well-adjusted college students. Right. Not a chance.
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