Maureen with him and if he did he should have stayed here with them till the quest started. Now she was one of Thorin's charge. She was under his protection and he could not get out of it. This thought crossed Thorin's mind hundreds of times a day. He knew he couldn't ask her to leave but he also knew that if she stayed he would not be able to think straight. Her laughter, the way her eyes twinkled when she was smiling, the way she cared for each and every member of the company, most of all Fily and Kily loved her like a sister that they never had. And Thorin? Did he love her too? Did he finally have a weak point in the strong facade? He did not like the way his body and mind responded in her presence. The way his heart raced and his eyes couldn't stop following her. May be he should send her back... But this thought made his stomach twist and burn like a boulder was placed on his chest. He could not fathom the thought of her not being there. He couldn't make her leave and he knew that but he didn't like to think that a woman could make him so weak.
When Thorin was wounded with an Orc arrow he had almost died. At that time Maureen had stayed with him day in and day out. Tending him, caring for him. She used to be there every single morning when he opened his eyes and every single night when he closed them. The lavender she wore was always in his room. He knew that's when it all started, when he used to look for her or ask for her when she wasn't there. As he got better she was there less and less as she knew he was out of danger now. He could not let her go...
Thorin was having all these thoughts when Ballin walked in. They had just come back from hunting.
" What did you get?" Asked Thorin
"A buck" replied Ballin "we found it at mid west of the jungle."
Then they all went to prepare the buck for cooking and Thorin was left to his thoughts one more time. He got up and went out so that he could distract his mind. He knew that if Maureen got to know about how he felt she would not want to stay there, unless.... Unless she also felt the same way.. but what if she didn't? How it would shatter his heart into a thousand pieces and he would not be able to put them back together. He knew he would lose not only his mind but also his will to survive. Shit! He hated feeling this way he didn't want to feel so weak but he also knew that she wasn't a weakness, she was a strength that would make him claim all that he had lost and more.
"Hi Mr Grumpy," Thorin heard her behind him. "What have you been doing since we left?" Said Maureen.
Thorin turned and looked at her. Her raven hair were tied in a pony tail high up on her head and she was gert as a rider. So she also went with them, Thorin thought.
He looked at her with a faint smile playing on his lips, "I have many charges on my hand Maur, I can't run around wild the whole day like you." Thorin said.
"Oh so you've again been planning " she said looking into his eyes. Thorin caught her glance but in his mind was all that he had been thinking about. He nodded and turned to go into the vast outdoor.
They had prepared the buck and it was roasting over a fire. The dwarves were all gathered having beer and talking. That's when they heard a rider. They all turned and saw a small speck riding on a horse towards them.
It was Gandalf.
'About time,' thought Thorin. He had a good many things to say to the wizard.
Maureen was out there even before the horse came to a halt. She loved the wizard like a father. He had seen her grow up to be a beautiful brave woman. He knew what she had been through and despite all that she was not what the rest of her kin were. 'Savages'. She had the softest and the purest heart and her will was like steel. She was all that a king would want her queen to be Thorin thought.
"Gandalf" said Thorin noding his head greeting the wizard. Gandalf took off his hat with a soft bow. "We need to talk" Gandalf said. Thorin looked at him and nodded his head signaling him to come inside.
Thorin poured them both a glass of red wine. "Yes?" Said Thorin as he handed Gandalf the wine and sat on a big chair right infront of the wizard facing him.
"The dragon has not been seen for the last many years but that doesn't mean that he's not there. I think you should wait for another year before you decide on approaching the mountain" Gandalf said softly. " I can arrange some more dwarves to go with you by then. Not an army but enough of them to be a force if it comes to it and I also need to figure something out about Maureen. Her own people are not ready to accept her back and we have to train her more if she is to come along."
"She is not going to come along" hissed Thorin "I already have enough on my hands and I'm not ready to take another charge. I can't be responsible for her life."
"Who said you are?" Spoke a voice full of hurt and dejection. Thorin and Gandalf both turned towards the door. Maureen was standing there eyes blazing and sparkling as tears made them moist. "My own people are not ready to accept me Thorin what makes you think I would ask you to accept me?" She said.
Thorin looked at her, his heart exploding seeing her eyes. He just wanted to get up and gather her in his arms. Tell her that he would accept her forever and always. Her eyes locked on his she came in the room, "I'm not a charge on your hands Thorin and you don't need to worry about me. I'll leave before the quest. Don't worry I won't be there to make a mess of things," she said breathing hard struggling to hold her tears back.
"That's not what he meant little one." Gandalf said standing and placing his hand on her shoulder. " We all know how strong you are and an asset you can be for any army."
"You don't have to sugar coat everything Gandalf" she said looking at him. "I know I'm a black sheep but I also am a survivor. I know how to take care of myself." She said smiling at the wizard. "I'm not Thorin's responsibility and he should stop thinking of me as one."
Thorin was breathing hard trying to keep his temper in check. Who does she think she is. She is his responsibility and one that he would never let go of even if he had a thousand reasons to do so. She was 'HIS' even if she doesn't know that yet. He would destroy anything or anyone who as much as even thought of hurting her.
He got up his jaw ticking and tight looking at her with wrath dripping from every single breath he let out. Standing in front of her he looked dead into her baby grey eyes "You don't get to tell me who is my responsibility or not. Every single one of my enemies knows that you are with the dwarves and they know that you are one of my charges. You are under my protection whether you like it or no Maureen" he hissed.
She stood there rooted. She had never seen him this angry. Even Gandalf was surprised but a faint smile was spreading on his lips. He knew what he just saw. He was a wizard. He knew that Thorin may not be a King yet but he had found his queen.