Thorin was not himself from the past few days and the dwarfs knew the reason behind it. Maureen had been avoiding him since that night, she was trying her best not to come face to face with him and so far it had been working. Fili and Kili being the closest to her were trying to convince her not to do that to their uncle.
"We've never seen him like this Maur" Fili says frowning as if he's trying to make sense of something.
" I know" I say with a twinge of guilt, " I hate seeing him like this too"
"Then don't push him away, you are hurting him and not only him you are hurting yourself too." Kili says sitting beside me placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing lightly. I felt a surge of emotions for both of them, they have been nothing but brothers to me since the time I arrived and I know that right now they are torn between me and their uncle as they love both of us unconditionally. They had literally squeezed the truth out of me after that night, I had to confess how I felt and why I won't tell Thorin about it. They didn't agree with me but they didn't push it either, they wanted me to come around at my own pace.
The door to my room opens and Dwalin walks in, "We leave in two days, you three should gather everything you need for the road, and lass" he says looking at me, "Sharpen your weapons."
I look up at him puzzled," Leaving? Where to?"
"Erebor", he says looking at all three of us pointedly. "We begin in two days for the Shire. The wizard seems to have found a burglar who would travel with us. We will be meeting him."
"What?" I say thinking that this couldn't get anymore messy, "But ... But we are not prepared for that road yet Dwalin."
"Thorin seems to think otherwise. And if he needs to fuel his anger with something I think this is the only healthy choice, he seems to be getting ready to burn the world down these days." Dwalin replies softly.
"Lads get all your weapons ready and everything that we need to take with"
He turns and leaves.
"So it begins," whispers Fili. A smile playing on his lips as he thinks of the great halls of Erebor.
"He's not thinking rationally right now," I say.
"I wonder why that is?" Kili says jokingly looking at me with a grin.
"Stop it!" I exclaim blushing and smiling. It's so easy to be myself Infront of these two, they don't judge me and though they don't agree with the way my mind works they don't make me feel any less important because of that.
"I think its time I start polishing my instinct as well" I whisper talking more to myself then the brothers. though eye changing may be a curse laid on my people but our instinct did not change, I still posses the power to talk to the night creatures. They still bring me news and warn me of the dangers. I know Thorin would never leave me behind or let me leave, so I should start excepting my role in the company too, I will not be a useless member of the company who needs to be protected or kept behind.
"Let's get ready boys" I chirp to the others, the news of the quest has put my mind at ease, I don't know what made Thorin take the decision but it would keep some of his mind off me as he's the leader of the company.
The whole company was excited, there was a buzz, a constant chatter, plans to reclaim there home and the excitement to finally be off in the direction they intended before they left the Blue Mountain six months back. It was a month before that I had joined the company and Gandalf had made Thorin promise that he would not let me out of his sight and so far the dwarf had kept his promise.
I know I cant avoid Thorin anymore, they had all gathered in the hall to plan and for dinner, I went to the hall as i wanted to be a part of the planning too. I had decided that though I can't change how we both feel, I would at least try to hold out until the end of the quest before I confess to Thorin.
My place was empty right next to the wizard. I sat there giving Thorin a slight nod as he was the only one I hadn't met the whole week, he nod stiffly staring at me for a few seconds and the proceeding to eat.
" I have left a mark on the door, I think it would be wise not to crowd the hobbit with all of us at once, we should go in small groups." Gandalf advices
" I don't see the point of bringing a hobbit along. He would be nothing but a burden on all of us." It was Gloin speaking his thoughts aloud.
"I've already explained myself to you Master Dwarf, Smog has never smelled a hobbit but dwarves on the other hand are a different story. He prowls the halls of the mountain each night until he's sure not a faintest smell of a dwarf is not there." the wizard says getting frustrated with constant arguments of the dwarves not willing to take the hobbit along. " you will have two very different but important members in your company, the Eye Changer who can warn you of any danger coming your way way before it arrives and a burglar who will retrieve the King's Jewel for you."
" I do not need anyone out of my own kin looking out for danger and I will certainly not entertain anything coming through 'Savages' Thorin barks his eyes fixed one me. His words hurt exactly he intended, i flinched at the hate the word 'Savage' contained coming out of his mouth, I closed my eyes taking in a deep slow breath, he was lashing out and I couldn't blame him, I had hurt him by not letting him see or speak to me for a week despite various messages sent to me through the young ones and others. I felt Fili's hand on mine from under the table squeezing reassuringly as he knew what exactly Thorin was trying to do. "Now that's not fair Thor....." a protest from Kili is cut shot as Thorin looks at him angrily at him challenging him to say more, Kili looks at me and I give him a tight smile and a slight shake of my head asking him to let go. He huffs but stays quiet for my sake. I shuffle my legs getting ready to leave but Filli's hand stays firmly on mine pushing down as if he knows what i have in mind and doesn't want me to act on it.
"This quest is ours and ours alone, whoever accompanies us to Erebor will be given a fair share of the treasure and nothing more." he said the last two words with spite and they were cutting my heart into pieces. I don't know how much longer I can sit here and take the pain, I had my eyes fixed on a random point on the table cloth and I was not going to raise them as they would give me away, I could feel the turmoil in my heart and I knew that my eyes would certainly betray me spell or no spell.
As if sensing what i was going through the wizard said, " Its late and with all the arrangements made I think we should all rest as we will all need our strengths at peak." the others agreed and started moving and that was my que to get up and leave the room half running towards my room.