The stinging smell of strong disinfectants burned the tip of my nostrils, stirring my consciousness. I groaned, feeling annoyed that he had chosen the 'perfect timing' to clean the bedroom while I was having a catnap.
But the sounds of several footsteps drawing near startled my anger away, replacing them into confusion. Unknowingly, I gripped the blanket as though my life depended on it, ready to save myself and my eyes shut even tighter when I have yet to open them.
"Maisie?" Hearing Edmund's voice, while I still find him annoying for using such a strong smell to clean the room, surprisingly calmed my nerves. "Maisie, can you hear me?"
I lifted an eyelid, trying to take a peek but the surroundings made my eyes fly wide open! My heart raced, seemingly in sync with the sound of the machine beside me. It felt ominous! With trembling lips and tears welling up, my shaking hands stretched out calling for Edmund. I was too frightened to see the rest of the room and my sight was locked looking only at him.
"Ed–"
He clasped my hand and patted it but it was not enough of a consolation. This terrifying feeling did not subside at all. Instead, it turned intense as the doctor approached me closer.
"No! I don't want!" I shouted, pleading for Edmund to save me. My arms were hitting the air desperately, creating a safe space between me and those white robed uniforms.
"It's nothing, Maisie. He's just going to–"
"NO!!! Please, Edmund! Please!!" I could hear the echo of my voice escaping to the quiet hallway but Edmund was not budging.
"It's okay, I'm here. I'll never leave your side." He caressed my face but I was not buying it, shaking my head fervently. "It'll be over and done with before you know it, I promise."
I was beyond hysterical as soon as he said those. I screamed to a pitch I never knew I had in me that Edmund immediately wrapped me in his arms, and sang with his soothing voice in my ears. It felt deja vu and I could not help and kept my eyes on my enemies. As soon as one person drew nearer, I shrieked. The man was standing close to my drip and fiddling it dangerously.
"Edmund, look!!! He's putting something in!!! Stop him. Please please please please!!!" It was too late. I could already feel a cool liquid running down my veins and I screamed even when I knew it was hopeless, "No no no no noo – Aaaaaaaaah!!!"
And just like it was the first time, I was knocked out cold and in my chest, there were pent up frustrations and fears waiting to be released.
* * * * *
The next time I woke up, I was still in the same hospital bed in a VIP-looking ward. This time, I kept my mouth shut and took a good look at the room. I saw Edmund was still clutching onto my arms just as he promised but this time, he was sleeping on the bed next to me. I tried hard to find out if this was the same room when I first saw him but it was hard to tell as everything looked identical. At most, it was probably the same hospital when I was first admitted but not the same room.
With nothing to confirm, I could not tell if my memory loss was some horrifying nightmare or I was hospitalised once again due to another memory loss or for some other reason I know nothing of.
Bored out of my wits but did not want to attract unsolicited attention, I stared at the man who brought me peace despite the calamity. I studied his sleeping face that was full of expression. The troubled creases on his forehead and the nonstop movement of his eyeballs underneath the eyelids. It made me want to wake him up but I was wary. With everything that had happened, I was not even sure of my relationship with this man. Even I knew I could not trust my own memory and yet, the blind trust I had in this man was astronomical. I never thought I would be extremely grateful to see him considering it was only yesterday I was giving him a hard time.
"You're awake," his husky yet tired and sleepy voice resonated in my ears. "Are you much better now?" His fingers pushed my hair behind my ears and weirdly, I could feel a tingling feeling in my stomach.
"I guess… Sorry about just now," I whispered while shifting my gaze lower, feeling rather embarrassed at my childish tantrum earlier on.
"You've done nothing wrong," he hushed in a sexy gentle voice. Even though I was not looking at him, I could tell he was smiling and that his kind smile radiated across his face.
Somehow all of those combinations made me blush. Weird… Was it because our body is in close contact?
"What were you dreaming about?" I asked, partially curious and partially wanted to hear him more.
"There were no dreams," he answered a little too quickly and I was too busy indulging myself with his caress as his fingers traced down my cheeks.
"But you were dreaming. Your eyes were moving–"
"Hmm… Did I?"
Truth be told, at this point I was not sure either of us were paying attention to the conversation. The dim light of the room, the peaceful atmosphere and sharing one bed played only a small part in this because the close proximity between us was almost nonexistent. Our hand was still entwined with the other and his thumb fondled my hand, giving its most attention. Somehow every single one of his touches sent electricity down my nerves and I could not help but enjoy it and returned the favour.
Except I was not sure why I was feeling this way? Was this just plain confusion on my part? Or was I being selfish right now, baiting him to give what I want?