Prologue
I'm good at games.
That much was certain. Ever since I was an ignorant elementary schooler to now, when I've grown up a bit, I've always been in the top 1% of players. No matter what game it was.
But there's always someone better. I was painfully reminded of that obvious reality four months ago.
"F*ck this!"
I cursed and slammed my keyboard. The expensive gaming keyboard lit up in a swirl of colorful lights.
"Lost again? Damn it…"
The enemy team had pushed all the way into our base and was mercilessly smashing the Nexus. I stared at the gray death screen with a face full of frustration, when red text from the enemy team appeared in the chat.
[All] LVS gamgack (Serata): jgcjy
[All] LVS gamgack (Serata): yj?
[All] LVS gamgack (Serata): haha
[All] backseatblocked (Luna): lolol yj
[All] thatsgeminion (Umpha): dang, nice carry bus
What? Jungle difference? My eyes burned with rage.
Are you serious, bastard? A pro wins a jungle fight against a regular player and dares to talk about "jungle difference"? Of course there's a difference! If I had the skills to beat you in jungle, I'd be making loads of money as a pro, not stuck here like this! Doesn't that jerk have any shame?
"Ugh, I'm seriously pissed off…"
The game ended before I even had a chance to respond. The screen changed and the damage chart popped up. Despite playing jungle, I had done twice the damage of the laners. These damn teammates…
[LVS gamgack: Hey, Sleepyhead]
[LVS gamgack: By any chance]
As I closed the damage chart with a sigh, the enemy jungler sent me a message. But I didn't care to see what came next—I quickly hit the exit button.
"Phew…"
I figured I wouldn't be able to focus properly if I played another match in this state, so I was about to shut the game off when the friends list icon lit up yellow.
"What the…?"
Turns out it was a friend request message—from the enemy jungler. A popular pro player currently in the spotlight, insanely good at the game, good-looking enough to have fans follow him around everywhere. But all I could do was grimace.
"This is how many times now?"
I didn't care how impressive he was. What mattered was that this guy had just been on the enemy team and had humiliated me every single time we faced each other. I sneered and clicked the mouse.
[Decline]
You think I'd accept your request all excited? While I was at it, I finally did something I'd been meaning to do for a while—I added that bastard to my block list.
'Now that's more like it.'
LVS's jungler, Gamgack. The guy I've never once beaten despite facing him dozens of times. Unlike me—stuck in Grandmaster and struggling to climb—he hit Challenger just two weeks into the new season and now floats around the top rankings.
If there weren't so few players in the high tiers of Grandmaster and Challenger, I probably wouldn't run into this monster so often. But of course, since we both played jungle, every time we met, we were enemies.
So every time I ran into that guy, I had no choice but to play while feeling the crushing weight of the skill gap between me and a pro. Dodge? My pride wouldn't allow it.
I grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge and gulped it down, exhaling deeply.
Honestly, part of the reason I'm this frustrated is definitely because of him. At some point, after every game we played, he started sending me friend requests. What else could that be but mockery?
The stress got so bad, one night I even dreamed about chatting with Gamgack after accepting a friend request from him. In the dream, he messaged me, "Want me to teach you how to jungle?"—and even though it was just a dream, I was furious.
"…Enough. Whatever."
As I recalled all the humiliations I'd suffered at Gamgack's hands, something in my mind just… snapped. Reality hit me like a truck. I had just turned 24 this year, and here I was, getting this worked up over a game.
I returned to my desk and stared at the monitor for a moment.
HOL. Full name: Hero of Legend. The undisputed number one online game, with massive worldwide tournaments. Gamgack, as a pro in such a game, probably made a ton of money.
'Well, he hasn't done much since the world championship ended last fall, but still…'
There were rumors floating around about him taking a break or whatever, but anyway. The point was: the game was that big, and it had tons of players. I, too, was a top-tier player in that game—ranked in the top 0.01%—but it all felt meaningless.
I just wanted to beat Gamgack once. Just once. That lingering desire was the only reason I kept holding onto the game. After slowly closing and opening my eyes, I shut the game down and deleted it without hesitation.
Besides, the new semester was starting next week. Since I was returning to school, there was a mountain of things I had to relearn and catch up on. It was obvious I wouldn't have the time to play games anymore.
＊＊＊
Turns out my prediction was mostly right. With school back in session and now working a part-time job too, I barely even had time to sleep—let alone play games.
But that only lasted during the semester. Once the break came, I suddenly had way too much free time.
I still had my part-time job, but I had originally chosen the hours based on my class schedule, so I only had to work three days a week, five hours each shift.
The first week of vacation was all about drinking with friends, but after just two weeks, I started crawling around my room, going stir-crazy from boredom.
"Maybe I'll play a game."
The words slipped out without much thought, and instinctively, HOL came to mind. Ever since I deleted it, even when I went to PC cafés with friends, I only logged in with a smurf account. My main account had been collecting dust for ages.
"What should I do…"
I muttered as I opened a browser window without even thinking. I figured I'd check the forums to see what the current scene was like. Just as I placed my fingers on the keyboard, I spotted a familiar name in the real-time search rankings.
[Xenoris]
It was the MMORPG everyone had been talking about lately—saying it was super fun. My mouse moved to the trending tab almost on its own.
A new class had dropped, and it was causing a stir. Dark Mage? What kind of badass name was that?
Naturally, I clicked on a YouTube video. On the screen, a chibi-style character, about five heads tall, was holding a spiky staff and showing off various skills.
"Hm…"
I calmly watched the video and read through the skill descriptions, rubbing my chin. With average controls, you wouldn't even be able to deal proper damage before dying. The skill combos were seriously tough to pull off.
"If you mess up the order even a little, you can only deal about 70% of the intended damage, and it consumes way more mana. Plus, the skill range shrinks a lot."
Everyone was hyped about the new class, but realistically, not even one in ten players would be able to use it properly.
I clicked my tongue and started downloading Xenoris. Ironically, it was the fact that it looked so damn hard that lit a fire in me.
"Well… might as well try it a little…"
Even though no one was around to hear me, I made a half-hearted excuse out loud and patiently waited as the installation bar crept upward.