Evening, at Minato's house.
Kaito was sitting on the sofa watching TV, with Naruto next to him, occasionally explaining the shows as they aired — and then laughing stupidly all by himself.
Kushina came over with a plate of fruit and set it in front of the two, smiling as she said,
"How come you had time to come over today?"
Kaito spread his hands and said,
"What, am I not welcome?"
"What are you talking about? Of course we're all happy you're here. Right, Minato? Minato? What are you looking at?"
Minato had been staring at the clock on the wall the whole time. Kushina's shout startled him into replying immediately,
"Ah? Ah, yeah, yeah! Welcome! A warm welcome!"
Kaito raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have something urgent tonight or what? You've been watching the clock since I got here."
"No, no, nothing. Come on! Have some fruit!"
Minato grabbed a banana and bit half of it off in one go — like he was holding a grudge against it.
That piqued Kaito's curiosity. He stood up and started walking toward the door, and Minato's face instantly lit up — he thought Kaito was leaving.
But before he could get too happy, Kaito's voice came from outside,
"Minato, step out here for a sec. I've got some official business to discuss with you."
Minato immediately deflated. Kushina noticed and urged him,
"Kaito's calling you. What are you sitting there dawdling for?"
Minato couldn't help but glare at her before she kicked him right out of the room.
Kaito stood outside with his arms crossed, watching Minato come flying out. He said calmly,
"No need to rush like that."
Rubbing his sore backside, Minato complained,
"Kaito, I really do have something to do tonight. Can't we talk about whatever it is tomorrow in the office?"
"Oh? And what could be so important?"
"None of your business! It's just… a really important mission!"
As he said that, a strange, sleazy grin crept onto his face — the first time Kaito had ever seen that kind of expression on Minato.
Kaito grabbed Minato's cheeks and pulled his face closer.
"Are you really Minato? Or did Borsalino turn into you?"
"Borsalino? Who's that?"
"Hmm… some kind of monkey."
"Kaito, you're insulting me."
"Hmph, don't be so ungrateful. In some ways, that monkey's more like the Yellow Flash than you are."
Minato stared at Kaito with wounded eyes, but Kaito wasn't buying it.
"Alright, enough. Tell me about this 'mission' you've got tonight. If you don't, I'm perfectly happy to stay here with you all night."
At that, Minato's face twisted in panic. He waved his hands frantically.
"No! I'll talk! I'll talk! Just let go of me first!"
Kaito smirked and released him. Minato rubbed his reddened cheeks and then leaned in close, whispering a few words in Kaito's ear.
Kaito's eyes went wide, and he blurted out instinctively,
"What!? You want a second child!?"
Minato jumped in shock, frantically gesturing for him to quiet down and forcing out the smallest voice he could manage,
"Keep your voice down! It's embarrassing!"
Kaito suppressed his surprise and lowered his voice.
"What brought this on all of a sudden? Does Naruto know?"
"To be honest, it's actually got to do with him."
"Oh? Go on."
"Well… Naruto went to Sasuke's house the other day, and when he came back, he said he wished he had an older brother too…"
"...That's a tough one."
"Yeah! And you know how rough Naruto's childhood was. Wanting an older brother probably isn't something that just popped into his head."
"So now you're thinking of giving him a little brother or sister?"
"Mm-hm! What do you think, Kaito?"
"I don't see a problem. How's it going so far? Need me to help with anything?"
The question sounded a little off, but luckily neither of them noticed.
Minato shook his head.
"No need. I already got a secret formula from Tsunade-sama — guaranteed to work!"
Tsunade? Why would she have something like that?
Kaito was puzzled, but outwardly he said,
"Is that so? Then I should congratulate you in advance. Knowing you, you've already thought of a name for the kid, haven't you?"
At the mention of names, Minato's eyes lit up — clearly, he was very invested in this.
But the light quickly dimmed, and he let out a heavy sigh.
"What's wrong? Out of ideas already?"
"Out of ideas? Impossible! You know my skills in this department, Kaito. There's no name I, Namikaze Minato, can't come up with!"
"Uh… that's true."
"Sigh! But Kushina won't let me name the kid. Does she not realize what a waste that is? Hmph! A woman is always a woman. What's that thing you said once? Big chest, small—"
"...It's 'long hair, short-sighted.'"
"Oh, oh, right! That's the one!"
Minato hadn't exactly been quiet — and from inside the house came Kushina's furious shout:
"Namikaze Minato! Don't even think about coming back in tonight!"
Minato shrank back in fear. He shot Kaito an awkward smile and whispered,
"I'd better head back quickly, or that secret formula's effectiveness will drop a lot!"
"Go on then. But one suggestion — if it's a boy, just don't name him Boruto."
Minato paused, then sneered with disgust.
"Boruto? What kind of stupid name is that? Doesn't sound cool at all!"
"Mm, just a thought. Anyway, go back. But hey — what if Kushina really doesn't let you into the bedroom tonight?"
"Heh heh, don't worry. I already left a Flying Thunder God seal in there. She won't be able to stop me!"
"...Fair enough."
Kaito gave him a thumbs-up. Minato grinned proudly, then darted back into the house.
It wasn't long before Kaito heard Minato screaming in agony. Who knows what he'd done this time to make Kushina that furious.
Shaking his head with a laugh, Kaito disappeared in a flash and returned to his own home.
The living room was pitch black, but for someone with the Tenseigan like Kaito, that was no problem — even the darkest environment was bright as day in his eyes.
He noticed a shadowy mass sitting on the sofa. He walked over and poked it with his finger.
The dark blob suddenly opened a pair of eyes, then slowly shifted into a humanoid shape.
It was, of course, Black Zetsu — except its matchstick-thin body was now curvaceous and distinctly feminine.
Seeing this, Kaito's eyes widened in shock.
"Black Zetsu!? What the hell is going on with you!?"