I was in music room. Siddhanth came in.
"Sorry guys I took so long."
"Mr. President isn't here."
"Gone for basketball is he?"
"Yeah."
"Only these many kids?"
"Yeah you know the choir kids will go for the competition and then there is the fact the half of the members from previous year have graduated."
"I kinda miss those guys. They were a lot of fun especially when they messed with you Rudraksh."
"Yeah it was fun to watch them mess with you."
"We only have one girl in our group kinda weird." Said Siddhanth
"Why were you in to impress the girls."
"No I have an eye on someone."
"Who?"
"She is in 12 - A."
"So do you know her?"
"Yeah we go in the same bus?"
"What's her name?"
"Samriddhi."
"Oh the one with black hair and grey eyes, shoulder length hair?"
"Yeah."
"Oh oh, I know let's not tell Aarush about it and we will tease you about her but the poor guy will not know what we are talking about he will die with curosity."
"That will be our revenge for him being late and wasting our time."
"So what instruments do you guys play?" I asked
"Oh I play the flute, Manan plays the violin and Shiddhanth plays the keyboard actually for now the piano." Explained Rudraksh
"Oh that's nice."
"You play guitar, right?"
"Yeah! So are we gonna practice the whole day?"
"Yes."
Then Manan started tuning the violin and Siddhanth started helping him by playing the notes. I too picked the guitar and started tuning. A little while Aarush came in and then he instantly left to change. After sometime he was back. He too picked his guitar and started tuning it.
"Wait let's decide the songs first and then we will get them approved."
"So we are doing hindi songs?"
"Yes. Okay what songs do we do?"
"Are they supposed to be random or do we have a theme?"
"Well, no theme this year for us."
"Okay, so let's do Raabta."
"Fine."
"Oh I know Banjaara." I jumped in
"Oh I love that song." Said Aarush
I am honestly surprised he took my suggestion and actually admited that it was nice.
"Next song?"
"We have to do at least five songs but let's decide six or seven in case any one gets rejected."
"How about Jeena Jeena?"
"Oh that's a really nice song, I dunno guys it just hits different." Said Manan
"Something like Khamoshiyan?"
"That's a nice but little depressing song it may get rejected but whatever?"
"What's the name of that song the one which goes like ' Raang sharbaton ka tu meethe ghaat ka paani mujhe khud mein ghol de toh mere yaar baat ban jaani'."
"Oh it's name is Raang Sharbaton Ka."
"We can do that."
"Ik vaari aa"
"And the one from Bajraangi Bhai Jaan."
"Tu jo mila?"
"No the other one."
"Zindagi Kuch Toh Bata?"
"Yeah exactly that."
"So we are doing Raabta, Banjaara, Jeena Jeena, Khamoshiyan, Raang Sharbaton Ka, Ik Vaari Aa, Zindagi Kuch Toh Bata."
"And a classic song."
"Zindagi Hai Ek Safar?"
"Done that will be eight songs."
"We have a slow song, a fast one, a classic, a soft, a famous one and all."
"Let's go to Tanishq sir."
He is our corridinator and in your school life corridinator means the person to go to for literally everything. It's like you failed, go to Tanishq sir you topped your class, go to him, you don't wanna participate in a competition, go to him you wanna participate in a competition go to him. So basically any thing related to school has to be reported to him. So off we went looking for him. He was in class 11- C. That's Moksh's class.
"May we come in sir?"
"Yes."
"Sir these are the songs we have decided."
"Hmph..... Fine but you need about ten songs as there will be no choir if you want you needn't do the complete songs but increase the number. Also you know the band is gonna be the first performance like always so we will need some instrumental music to welcome the chief guests."
"Okay sir."
As they were talking Moksh stared at me with an expression that read 'whoa big sis you are the coolest person ever, being in the band with all the cool and popular kids! Must feel nice to be one of them.' I felt a sense of pride in myself like I had accomplished something super cool.
As we walked down I passed an empty classroom in the window I caught my reflection. I just stared at it, stared at the person I had become no the person I was pretending to be. An innocent naive girl is not who I am, I am the one who never talked with words I talked with my knife, my blade. Words were something I used to deceive people with, they were the bait with which I used to trap my preys, they were the nector I used to attract the bugs only to close my mouth just like the venus fly trap causing the fly to slowly being devouvered. Here I was given a new chance. Did my victims get these chances too or was it just me playing the pure little girl. Words never were something I believed in. You can really just manipulate someone to believe that you care about them and you actually love them and that you are doing everything for their sake while slowly poisoning them.
I realised I will pick a guitar and I'll sing a song. Poisoning the ears of innocent people as they see a talented naive girl on the stage no one will truly see the devil hiding behind that mask.
"Chandni why are you standing there?"
"Nothing."
Once again I pretend and I continue to pretend. I deceive the people around me and I try to deceive myself deep down I know who I am and I know I will continue to be. I try to run, I try to forget, I try to undo but somethings can never be changed just like the thing that cracked in me the day I stabbed a knife right through a man's chest. Sometimes I just wanna disappear. Disappear into thin air. Disappear so no one could find me. Erased from everyone's memories. No matter where I am, how I am, what I am, there is this one constant unwavering feeling 'Sometimes I just want to disappear.'