"But sometimes you'll continue to like them and will progress to the next stage; asking them out. He suggested that you take them a token – a flower or a chocolate or something – and in private, ask them in a sincere way if they would do you the honour of allowing you to escort them to Hogsmeade…or wherever. If they say no, accept it graciously and don't push it." James sighed and reaching down pulled on the toes of his socks straightening them out.
Harry wondered why his father looked so disheartened.
Sirius nudged him. "Your Dad had spent our fourth year asking your Mum to accompany him to Hogsmeade in front of the entire Gryffindor Common Room every time there was a weekend announced. It was a bit of a running joke by the end of the year that he'd ask and she'd turn him down."
"Oh." Harry realised that his Dad must have compared the advice he'd been given to how he'd asked his Mum and understood he'd made a mistake.
"Neville's Dad, on the other hand, wooed Alice exactly in the manner James's Dad recommended." Sirius smiled at Neville who brightened at the new knowledge of his father.
"How do you get one of them to go somewhere in private?" Peter wondered out loud. "They travel in packs."
"Send them a note with the morning mail or sneak one to them in class," suggested Sirius.
"Or you could just ask them if you could have a word in private." Remus said logically.
"What if they don't like me, I mean, you, collective you?" Peter stammered out. "They're hardly likely to go anywhere alone with me…you? You know what I mean."
"That's why there's the getting to know you thing first." Sirius said sagely. "So they can get to know you enough that they would go alone with you somewhere."
"Dad said there were a few tips. Firstly, compliments should be sincere. If her hair looks awful, don't pretend it does. But if she has a nice smile, you can say that you like her smile, for instance." James said. "Secondly, you should always be honest but never say anything unkind."
"Don't tell her she's fat, he means." Sirius chipped in.
"Any other tips?" asked Remus, making a note on his parchment.
"Uh, don't insult her friends." James muttered.
All three of the others looked at him but with varying expressions of horror, sympathy and pity.
"Well, you've kind of screwed the…"
"Sirius!" James snapped.
"He has a point," Peter said tactlessly, "we have hexed Snivellus a lot. It's no wonder she doesn't like you."
Neville leaned in towards Harry. "Snivellus?"
"Snape." Harry whispered back. "He was my Mum's friend."
Neville stared at him in shock.
"I know." Harry said in amused agreement with Neville's disbelief.
"So, we do some damage limitation next year," suggested Remus, "we don't hex him unless he starts something with us."
Sirius didn't look pleased but James grinned.
"Fine," Sirius grumbled, "but I won't hold back if he does start something."
James reached over and patted his foot. "Your sacrifice is much appreciated." He leaned back and smiled. "Anyway, Dad said that if someone likes you they'll smile at you a lot, find excuses to touch you and talk to you. So you'll have a general idea about whether they'll want you to ask them out."
Remus nodded. "Find excuses…got it."
"So, first date, Dad said to make sure you bathe beforehand, dress nicely – make an effort. Uh, then there was nothing wrong with going with time-honoured traditions; greet her with a flower and a sincere compliment, go on a walk around Hogsmeade to places you both enjoy, followed by lunch at The Three Broomsticks, and escort the lady back to her House." James paused. "And should everything have gone well, then…"
"KISSING!" shrieked Sirius.
"Or just one kiss." James agreed with a smile.
"Tips for kissing?" Remus asked organising his parchment.
"Practice good dental hygiene, don't eat anything too spicy or garlicky beforehand or have a breath mint handy, don't lunge at her or you might knock heads, be gentle, and remember to breathe." James reeled off quickly.
"What about French kissing?" Remus pointed his quill at James.
"Dad said you tangle your tongues together in a stroking fashion. It's a lot more intimate and you should probably not try it on a first kiss." James instructed.
"So how far do you go and when?" Peter asked, brushing some crumbs off his robe.
James smiled at him. "Good question, Pete! I asked my Dad the same thing."
"And the answer?" prompted Remus, quill poised to write it down.
"Dad said you should talk about it once you've gone on a few dates and have agreed you're properly a couple." James's cheeks coloured. "He said that it was better not to rush into, uh, you know; doing it and that there was a lot you could do before it."
"Talking seems sensible." Remus agreed.
"You don't want to schedule it like homework though!" protested Sirius. "Where's the spontaneity? The joy? The having fun in the moment?"
"Dad said to agree rules." James said. "So before a, um, snogging session, you'd agree that you could place your hands on her…" he made a descriptive gesture with his hands that Harry assumed meant breasts, "and whether you could touch her above or beneath her clothing."
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