Sirius shushed him and pointed back at the boys. "James is about to begin properly."
The look Remus shot Sirius promised retribution. Harry wondered what Remus would think up; he could get quite creative with his pranks.
"Alright!" James held up his hands. "I give in! I'll tell you what my Dad said."
Remus's eyes narrowed on his friend's wicked smile. "You have to promise on Marauder's honour to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."
"Moony!" James protested dramatically. "Don't you trust me?"
There was a chorus of 'no!' from all three of his friends.
"Fine," grumbled James, "I promise I'll make no embellishments. Let's get organised!"
He made the other three sit in a line on the floor facing him and he sprawled out in front of them, brushing off his dusty robes. Remus had somehow gotten parchment and ink and was poised to take notes.
"Alright, boys," James began brightly, "as you are now fifteen years old, you may have started to notice girls or boys or both. This is because you are becoming a man and your body and emotions are maturing. You are beginning the journey to…"
"Sex!" interrupted Sirius cheerfully.
James shot him a look that clearly said 'shut up,' "…finding someone to love and marry; someone you can build a family with."
"Well, not if it's a boy." Remus pointed out. "If you settle down with a boy, having a baby is out."
"Adoption." Sirius said. "You can blood adopt which is just as valid or go with a surrogate."
"True." Remus conceded.
"But who would want to kiss a boy?" joked Peter.
"I already have." Sirius stated somewhat stiffly.
Harry's eyes widened with the admission and he cast a look over to the older version of Sirius who was very carefully ignoring them all.
"Really?" asked Remus, his eyes shining with curiosity. "What was it like?"
"More to the point," James interrupted, "who was it and when?"
"I'm not saying but it was…" Sirius shrugged, "fine. Not ground shaking or anything. It's a bit like kissing a girl."
James sighed but didn't push Sirius. "Anyway, my Dad said that he didn't mind if I ended up with a girl or a boy as long as I was happy."
"My Mum would throw a wobbly if I brought home a boy." Peter said. He suddenly clasped his hands together and wailed dramatically. "But what about my grandchildren?!"
Harry noted that it was quite a funny impression even if it was Peter.
"Your Mum? What about mine? Your Mum might cry and wail a bit, but mine will have a complete fit and hex me half to death before marrying me off to some pureblooded bitch from Bulgaria. Not that it matters since I'm leaving home as soon as I can." Sirius made a 'get on with it' gesture at James.
"So then…" James said quickly, moving the subject on. "'Son,' he said, 'at some point you will go from noticing people in general to noticing one person in particular…'"
"Lily," coughed Sirius.
"And he explained what a crush was – you know, being very attracted, wanting to be with them, wanting to be noticed by them, dreaming about being with them – assured me again that it was all perfectly normal." James's expression took on a sheepish look. "Then he explained that it was a fine line between a crush and obsession, and to make sure I didn't allow myself to slip from one to another."
"You mean like following said crush everywhere?" Sirius teased.
"Stealing her timetable to know where she is every hour of the day?" offered Peter with a sly smirk.
"Making notes of what she eats at meals so you can deduce her favourite foods?" added Remus.
"Alright, alright!" James held up his hands. "I admit my Dad's talk did actually get me to think maybe I've gone a little overboard with Lily."
Harry's heart ached a little at his Dad's miserable expression.
Younger Sirius obviously had the same reaction because he cleared his throat loudly. "Well, maybe your Dad has some advice to offer about how you could win the heart of the enigma that is Evans?"
"Yes!" exclaimed James, pointing at him. "Wooing was the next thing he talked about."
"Wooing?" Sirius pulled a face. "He actually called it wooing?"
James ignored him. "Basically, he said that when you found someone you liked, that the next stage was wooing – getting to know them better and allowing them to get to know the real you."
"But what if they're a teacher?" asked Peter.
"Well, I think you probably have to be realistic and appropriate about the object of your affections," Remus supplied quickly, "right, James?"
"Sure, I mean Dad didn't say anything specifically, but I think he was assuming that the other person would be within the same age range and someone you knew personally." James frowned at Peter. "You don't still have that crush on Professor Linney?"
"She's so beautiful." Peter said dreamily.
All three other boys exchanged knowing looks.
"So," said James loudly, "you like someone near to your own age, not a teacher," he threw Peter another look, "or someone unattainable like a Quidditch player or whatever, and you want to get to know her – or him – better." He gestured. "He said the first stage was to become friends with them, get to know them. Sometimes it works out that once you do know them…"
"You don't fancy them anymore." Sirius concluded.
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