It is a truth universally acknowledged, that men tease the girls they are interested in.
I have no idea who came up with that and decided it was now a fact, but it's never been true for me. After all, teasing a girl is a surefire way of being hated, right? It's way better to treat them nicely, and as a man who values efficiency, it makes sense, too.
"But girls love bad boys!"
Gimme a break. That sounds like something wife beaters tell themselves so they can sleep easy at night. Any girl who's attracted to someone who flips so easily between nice and mean needs to snap out of it. In the first place, I don't want to associate with girls who're into misery and misfortune. I mean, why else would you be attracted to that sort of person?
And then there's the reverse situation.
Imagine a girl breaking an egg down your shirt before fluttering her eyelashes at you and saying she only did it because she loves you. It wasn't just any shirt, either. It was the brand new T-shirt just released by your favorite VTuber. You know? The limited edition one?
You wouldn't let her get away with that, right?
If you're still not convinced, picture this.
Your girlfriend, washing the egg goop off your T-shirt after going off at the
girl who did it, before she holds you into her ample chest as you cry about how your beloved merch just lost 90% of its value.
Now that's the kinda girlfriend I want.
I know I'm speaking as a guy, but I don't think that matters. Nice people are nice. Mean people are not. Sounds simple, but it's true.
So wouldn't it make sense for all humans, no matter their gender, to act kindly to the object of their affections in the pursuit of love? I always thought so.
In fact, I was sure that tsunderes and girls who acted mean to their crushes couldn't exist outside the world of anime and light novels. 3D girls should be
more straightforward, smiling to their crushes, and making their feelings clear from the get-go.
But if my theory was true, it meant nothing but trouble for me.
Because every girl in my life seems to hate my guts.
Before you read too much further, I want to make one thing clear. Every
girl in this book, though all beautiful in their own way, is a pain in the ass. They take any chance they can to be annoying, cold, or commit atrocious sexual harassment. Sure, their behavior could be mistaken for "cute" at times, but the events in this tale are anything but.
Don't be fooled: it's not like I let them get away with it.
But if none of that bothers you, then feel free to read ahead.
Actually, I'm jealous of my friend who got to spend his days like he was
the protagonist of a romantic comedy novel.
I just don't get why all these girls have to pick on me...
***
"So, that's where I'm at. You're my friend, whaddya think?"
"I think it must be nice to have the girls all over you like that..."
Image here