"How dare they...?!"
It was a cold Tuesday morning, but not so cold that we'd kept the classroom windows shut. And so, a cool breeze drifted in, making me feel refreshed and ready for the day ahead. But there was one thing that ruined the calm first thing in the morning.
It was the 31st of October, yet the classroom was the same as usual... As I took my seat towards the back, I couldn't help but feel upset.
What was up with them?! My classmates should've been on their hands and knees, wishing her Highness a good birthday! Seriously... Everyone was acting way too normal. It's as if they didn't know that it was on this fateful day that the world was blessed with the birth of Natsukawa!
Wait.
Then it hit me. I realised that perhaps they really did not know.
I looked over at the girl in question. She was sitting in silence, gazing out the window to her left. I thought it over, and reached the conclusion that this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me. Natsukawa wasn't the type of person to go around telling people about her birthday. What was weird, however, was Ashida. I'd expected her to throw some sort of a surprise party, or to at least tell our classmates about Natsukawa's birthday.
"Mornin' Sajocchi!"
"Ah, speak of the devil."
Ashida had arrived to class a few minutes before the homeroom bell. She moved to stand in front of my desk after she put her bag down.
"Hm? Were you thinking of me?" She tilted her head questioningly.
"Something like that"
"Shouldn't someone else be on your mind right now?" She gave me a teasing grin.
"Well... I was just wondering why you didn't take it upon yourself to tell everyone today's special occasion. It seemed like the kind of thing you would do."
"Ah about that... Well, I felt like Aichi would appreciate a quiet birthday this year"
I thought about it for a bit, then decided that this was fine. After all, in the past, Natsukawa's birthdays were also rather quiet. Perhaps she preferred it this way too.
Saying that I wasn't nervous would be dishonest. But I also believe that admitting it would only make things worse. Which is why, for the first half of the day, I pushed all thoughts out of my mind, only focusing on the lessons. By the time our mathematics period had ended, I was exhausted. But at the same time, I felt at ease. I hadn't focused so hard in class in a while, and it felt good to take my mind off of things like this.
But as soon as I heard the lunch bell, anxiety washed over me. My fingertips started tingling, my body shuddering. It was the sort of feeling you get when you're anticipating something or waiting for certain doom. I used to feel this way as a kid when playing hide and seek, as I hid in silence, waiting for the seeker to pass me by. But as someone who was now in high school, life wasn't so simple anymore. It wasn't a game of hide-and-seek that was making me nervous, but the thought of what I was going to do after school that day.
I got up and left the classroom. The hallways were crowded as students were leaving their classrooms to spend their lunch breaks however they wanted, though the options became more limited the harder the winter winds blew. It was becoming uncomfortable to spend time out in the courtyard or on the playgrounds.
I joined the flow of students to the cafeteria, then split off at a set of stairs leading up. Taking the steps two at a time, I soon arrived at my destination. It was here that I once ran into a certain blond-haired girl eavesdropping on the students behind the wooden double doors that now stood before me.
"I'm coming in" I called out after knocking twice, then entered the Student Council room.
"You got here quick"
"Well... You are doing me a favour, so I didn't want to keep you waiting"
The person that was waiting for me inside was none other than the Student Council President, Yuki-senpai. I had contacted him the night before, asking to borrow the keys to the roof, which was usually out of bounds for students.
I took a seat in front of Yuki-senpai's desk, which was the one at the back of the room.
"You do realize that this is against school rules, right?" He got right into the main topic.
"Please don't worry Senpai, I will return it after school." I said, trying to sound reassuring. It was true that accessing the roof without supervision or a teacher's permission was against school rules. But I'd done Yuki-senpai enough favours in the past that I hoped he would help me out this one time.
"Why come to me for this though? Why not ask Kaede?"
Ugh... Does he have to be so nosey?!
I didn't want him all up in my business. Beside, I didn't want Big Sis to hear anything about this.
"Well... A friend of mine and I want to... talk about something private...?"
"Why did that sound like a question?" he let out a sigh. "Anyway, I don't mind giving those to you... But first, there's something I want to talk to you about."
"...What is it?"
Yuki-senpai stood up silently and walked over to a corner of the room to a...
A vending machine?! What? Since when was there a vending machine inside of the student council room?
My senior noticed my bewildered expression and said "Oh this? We're just keeping it here temporarily until we decide on a good spot for it."
He then bought a bottle full of red liquid and threw it over to me. The label said 'tomato juice', which piqued my interest. I'd never tasted bottled tomato juice before. As soon as I took my first sip, Yuki-senpai stated his request:
"Kaede needs your help" he said.
I spat out.
I looked over at him. The tomato juice tasted very... unique. But I didn't have time to saviour it, because I was surprised to see Yuki-senpai looking at me with a straight face.
Senpai, I have no clue what you're talking about. How can you say something so vague with a straight face?
"Um... I'm afraid I don't understand. Please elaborate" I said, reaching for the tissue box on the desk to my right.
He leaned back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling for a bit. Then he looked back at me. "I was talking to her yesterday and your name came up. She didn't go into detail, but she was worried about something, and it seemed to stem from the lack of trust that you two have in each other."
This again? I thought in silence for a bit. I thought that we'd already talked things out on the roof a while back, when I told her she didn't need to change the way she treated me. Big Sis wasn't the kind of person to dwell on things once a resolution has been reached. As such, there were two possibilities here.
The first was that a resolution had NOT been reached last time. And the second was that a completely new problem was troubling her.
The second possiblity seemed more likely but... What could be bothering her? The only thing I could think of was Dad's career change. Though that wasn't something I could share with the President.
"My feeling is that she wants you both to be closer siblings. So here's your task: try getting closer to Kaede and see how she reacts. And don't try to trick me, you need to genuinely try your best. Simple, right?"
That was, in fact, anything but simple. Getting close to Big Sis' was like poking a sleeping lion with a wooden stick. In other words: it meant certain death. Yuki-senpai was making me sign my own life away here.
Besides, I really doubted his 'feeling' that she wanted us to be closer. The last time she tried acting like a big sister, she threatened to kill me while giving me an ear cleaning.
When he saw me hesitate, he added, "You can say no, but then you'll have to forget about taking this" He threw a silver key up in the air and caught it with his left hand.
"Ugh..." I thought for a moment. The Student Council President was not someone to take lightly. He said that I couldn't get away with a half-baked attempt. So I genuinely had to try to meddle in Big Sis' business without incurring her wrath. It was a lot trickier than I'd originally thought.
"Why don't you offer her your help?" I asked him in return.
"I tried, but there are somethings that only family can do for one another. This unwillingness of yours seemed to be her source of stress anyway."
After a few moments of silence, I had my answer... and the key to the roof.
*
I was back in class, with a few minutes left of lunch break. I had one last thing to do before it ended. I took my phone out and sent a message to Ashida.
"Hey, are you doing anything with Natsukawa after school today?"
Needless to say, we could have talked face-to-face, since we were both in class. But Ashida was currently sitting on the window sill next to Natsukawa. Satou-san and Iihoshi-san were also there. I didn't want to interrupt whatever conversation they were having.
I saw Ashida check her phone, probably because she felt it vibrate. She glanced at the screen then looked up, meeting my eyes, before starting to type away on her phone.
"Nothing in particular. My senses tell me that you need a favour though?"
Damn, as perceptive as always. I thought
"Could you please find a way to send her to the roof after school?"
I looked up and saw Ashida give me a thumbs up from across the room, a big smile on her face. I put my hands together and bowed my head in a show of appreciation. We didn't need any words, for she probably knew what I was saying in my heart: Thank you, Ashida-sama.
A few moments later, I saw her take Natsukawa out to the hallway, probably to tell her to go to the roof after school. I didn't know how she was going to do it, but knowing her, the chances of failure were low. Regardless though, I waited for their return to get confirmation from Secret Agent Ashida herself.
Moments passed in quiet succession, each one stretching longer than the last. The classroom buzzed faintly with idle chatter, chairs scraping, and the rustle of notebooks, but my attention stayed fixed on the door. Sunlight shifted across the floor inch by inch, and outside, a breeze stirred the trees just enough to remind me time hadn't stopped, even if it felt like it had.
Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Ashida finally came in, panting. She clearly ran so she could make it back on time. Natsukawa however, never showed up even after the next period had started.
I tried messaging Ashida to ask what happened, but she never checked her phone again. I even tried catching her eye, but wasn't able to, almost as if she was avoiding me on purpose.
The second half of the day slipped by, and when the final bell rang, Natuskawa's seat remained empty.
*
It was 3:30pm. Classes had already ended for the day, and I was waiting for a certain someone... Hoping that they would show up.
Before leaving the classroom, I tried approaching Ashida to ask if things had gone well with my request. She was in the middle of a group of girls, but she finally met my eyes. When she did, she smiled faintly and gave me a thumbs up, before leaving in a hurry.
I had no choice but to trust that she managed to make things work behind the scenes. And so there I was, waiting in the hallway, just around the corner from the stairs that led up to the roof. If I met Natsukawa on the rood, she was likely to run away, as usual. So I decided to let her go up first so I could cut off her escape route.
The whole set up would've probably looked extremely suspicious to any spectators. But thankfully, the hallway was empty of students. Yet, inspite of that, I was on pins and needles. My palms were getting sweaty, and my breaths shallow. I felt the need to go to the bathroom, even though I'd gone moments ago.
It's not that I was nervous to talk to Natsukawa. I was long past that stage, after having been rejected so many times. But it was still one of those situations where one's nerves start tingling when a long-awaited moment finally arrived.
Unconsciously, I started reflecting on the past few years. I reflected on how it all started, and how our friendship has developed. I'd fallen for this girl because of the genuine concern and kindness she'd shown to a boy in trouble. Back then, when I'd tripped and fell while carrying my lunch at the Middle School canteen, no one else moved a muscle to help out.
It wasn't as if it was love at first sight. Originally, I'd only wanted to thank her for helping me out. But I slowly became conscious of her. This girl who didn't try to fit in and go with the flow. She minded her own business, and stayed true to herself, without putting on any facades for the purpose of making people accept her. That was the Natsukawa I'd fallen for.
The reason she'd left such a strong impression on me was because, back then, I'd started putting on a mask around others in order to get along. I knew that such a method would only reap superficial relationships. But I was okay with that... up until I met her.
Her behaviour, which was at odd with mine, somehow struck me as profoundly beautiful. Overtime, I'd grown fond of her to the point that I made a decision. She was one of the people I was going to be completely genuine with. The result of that was... well... countless rejections. But despite those rejections, I stayed true to myself and to my vow to always be myself around her.
After I gave up on pursuing her and stopped being an annoyance, I put some distance between us. Though around summer break, she said that she wanted us to stay in touch. That was fine by me, but it led our our current situation.
I looked out the hallway window. As the coldest days of winter approached, the days started getting shorter. My eyes lingered on the sky, ablaze with molten orange. It was as if the setting sun had spilled fire across the horizon, and some of that glow seeped into my heart, bringing to light those facts which I'd never acknowledged before.
What I intended to do... what I had to do was simple. It was just like Ashida said; the solution to all of this wasn't in my hands. It wasn't me who was supposed to do the talking. It was Natsukawa. And I resolved myself to support whatever decision she came to regarding our situation.