To prevent anyone from witnessing the "corruption" of the class angel, Ren led Kushida to a secluded spot behind the main school building. It was an area students rarely passed during lunch, and the school's soundproof walls would muffle their voices, so long as they weren't screaming. It was the perfect private training ground.
"Alright, let's begin," Ren said with the gravity of a drill sergeant. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do. We'll start with your traditional Japanese national curse." He cleared his throat. "Repeat after me: Ba~ka~."
"B-Baka," Kushida stammered, the word sounding foreign and awkward on her lips.
"Louder! You expect to win an argument with that little whisper? Give it some feeling! Ba—! Ka—!"
Kushida felt a flash of anger, sensing that he was genuinely insulting her. "Ba! Ka!" she snapped, her voice sharper, louder, fueled by a hint of real irritation.
"Louder!"
"Baka!"
"Good! Very energetic! Now, with that same feeling, give me fifty repetitions!"
"Baka, baka, baka..." Kushida chanted, her eyes fixed on Ren, trying to decipher his reaction. Her mind was so focused on him that she finished the fifty repetitions almost automatically.
"Your delivery is still a bit dry," Ren critiqued. "Fifty more. Moisten it up with some real emotion this time."
Kushida grit her teeth. To get it over with, she tapped into a deeper well of frustration. During the second set, something clicked. By the twentieth "Baka," she was fluent. She began to unconsciously infuse the word with her own complex feelings—frustration, anger, accusation, and even a hint of pain. Ren could hear it all in her voice.
She's a natural, he thought, surprised. A bona fide genius at insults. All these years, her civilized nature must have been suppressing her true talent.
"Excellent! You've mastered 'Baka.' Now for the second lesson. Repeat after me: Hen~tai~ (Pervert)."
"Ah..." Kushida hesitated. "Is this also for arguing with Horikita-san?"
"It's a fundamental!" Ren insisted. "And when a beautiful girl says it, its lethality doubles!"
She didn't argue further, simply glaring at him as she practiced. Soon, she had mastered "Hentai" as well.
"Phase three: combos!" Ren announced. "'Baka Hentai!' Fifty times, let's go!"
This time, Kushida dove right in, almost impatiently. To her own surprise, she found the act of shouting these insults... cathartic. She had never been able to vent her pent-up emotions to a living person before. As the class's "emotional trash can," she absorbed everyone's negativity but had to maintain her perfect, cheerful image. In the past, she had used anonymous internet forums as an outlet, but that world had been destroyed when her identity was discovered, forcing her to flee to this school.
But this... this was different. She could see the real-time feedback on the face of the person she was venting at. Because it was "practice," she could scream at Ren without guilt. Better yet, he was actively trying to annoy her, which only fueled her performance.
"Baka Hentai, Baka Hentai, Baka Hentai..." she chanted, the words becoming a mantra for all her past frustrations.
She finished the fifty repetitions but didn't stop. She was lost in it.
"Alright, that's enough, you can stop!" Ren said, trying to move on.
She ignored him.
"Stop!"
The pleasure of the release was too overwhelming. Now, Ren's attempts to stop her were just another annoyance. She turned on him, her angelic face momentarily forgotten. "Urusai! (Shut up!)" she yelled, before immediately returning to her chant. "Baka Hentai, Baka Hentai, Baka Hentai, Urusai, Urusai!"
The two began a bizarre shouting match, each trying to drown the other out. Their voices grew louder and louder, escalating until they far surpassed the "slightly loud" threshold the secluded spot could hide. Ren, unlike the entranced Kushida, realized their predicament. If someone heard a girl shouting "Baka Hentai" in a deserted corner of the campus, they would surely come to investigate. Rumors of a secret, abusive relationship would spread instantly.
Kushida did not fit his criteria for a fake girlfriend; her obvious affection was an immediate disqualifier. He had to end this now.
Giving up on words, Ren acted. He lunged forward, clapping one hand over Kushida's mouth and using the other to steady the back of her head, silencing her mid-shout.
"Kushida-san," he whispered, his voice low. "You don't want people to find you back here screaming 'Baka Hentai' at the top of your lungs, do you? Think of your image."
The threat worked. She instantly calmed down. He released her.
"That's all for today," he said. "We've been practicing for a long time."
"A long time?" Kushida asked, confused. It had felt like only a few minutes. She checked her phone. Less than ten minutes had passed.
"It's still early," she said, a look of unsatisfied desire in her eyes. "Let's practice more. I'll be quieter this time."
Ren was shocked by her eagerness, but his goal was complete. He had never intended to actually turn her into a master of insults; he just needed to create a "blackened" history he could use as leverage. It was time to make his exit.
"A teacher can only lead you to the door; the practice is up to you," he said wisely. "I'll send you some 'textbooks' later to give you direction."
He turned to leave.
"Wait!" Kushida called out. "You don't have my contact info. How will you send me the textbooks?" She held out her phone, a QR code already on the screen.
Ren sighed, turned back, and scanned the code. As he did, Kushida leaned in close, whispering. "I think I still need more face-to-face guidance, Ren-kun..."
He was about to refuse, but she continued, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial hush. "Also... the coat you're wearing has a unique mark on it now. From where you... grabbed me. I think it's a great memento of our new friendship. I don't think I'll wash it."
Her angelic smile returned, but it now held a chilling edge.
"If this were reported to the school, you might be expelled for assault, Ren-kun. I'll keep it safe, of course. So, I hope you can keep today's 'practice' our little secret. And if you hear anything... unpleasant about me in the future, I hope you'll help me out. Think of this as the start of a beautiful friendship, okay?"
She had seen her opening and taken it. She couldn't let the one person who had seen her unhinged side go uncontrolled.
Ren was initially surprised, but then a slow, pleased smile spread across his face. "As expected," he thought. He suppressed his inner excitement, his voice taking on a tone of mock gravity.
"My fingerprints are evidence. If you report me, I'll be expelled," he stated, looking her directly in the eye.
"Are you threatening me with expulsion?" Ren asked, a flicker of excitement in his eyes.
Kushida's face was a mask of innocence. "How could you say that? We're friends! I would never do such a thing to a friend."
"And if we're not friends?" Ren pressed.
At that, Kushida's gentle expression melted away, replaced by something chillingly dark. "Then," she hissed, "I will do everything in my power to drive anyone who prevents me from making friends out of this school."
Technically, the handprints only proved he'd touched her clothes. It would be difficult to prove she was wearing them at the time, and even harder to prove malicious intent. But Ren knew that didn't matter. In cases of alleged assault, Japanese law was notoriously harsh, often operating on a "guilty until proven innocent" basis. The school's punishment would be even swifter. The lightest outcome would be expulsion.
This was it. An accidental collision, followed by a direct threat of false accusation. It was a golden opportunity, a gift from the heavens. He didn't have to orchestrate a thing. Once she reported him, he'd be unable to prove his innocence—not that he would even try. He'd be expelled. He'd be free.
The only hurdle was that she didn't seem to want to report him yet. She wanted to use the threat as leverage.
No matter, he thought. All I have to do is refuse to cooperate. I must show my determination to rather die than submit. Once she sees that blackmail is ineffective, her only option to silence me will be to follow through on her threat.
Expulsion is just around the corner!
He was so ecstatic he had to physically suppress the urge to laugh out loud. Fearing she might go back on her word, he leaned forward to confirm. "Are you sure?"
Kushida bared her teeth in a vicious approximation of a smile. "Yes. I am serious."
Upon receiving her confirmation, Ren Ishikawa dramatically extended his right hand and raised his index finger.
"It's a deal!" he declared.
Without another word, he spun on his heel and strode away. After a few steps, he pumped his fist toward the sky.
"And let me be clear," he shouted back over his shoulder, his voice filled with triumphant defiance. "I will not give in!"
He left Kushida standing there, her face a perfect portrait of utter confusion.
"Huh?" she muttered. "Wait a minute! Explain what you mean!" She started to chase after him, but he quickened his pace, leaving her dozens of meters behind in seconds.
A long while later, Kushida walked back into the classroom, having resumed her gentle, angelic appearance. Ren, however, now knew that beneath that pristine surface was a heart as black as tar.
With nearly half an hour left before the next class, Ren put his head down for a nap, but was quickly interrupted by a broadcast over the school's intercom.
"Starting at 5 p.m. today, a club briefing will be held in the First Gymnasium. All students interested in joining a club, please gather there at that time. I repeat..."
As the announcement ended, Ren settled back down, only to find Ayanokouji, who sat in front of him, turned around in his seat.
"Excuse me, Ordinary-sensei," Ayanokouji began.
Ren didn't even look up. "No one here by that name."
"Then... Ren-san? Ishikawa-san?"
Annoyed, Ren lifted his head from his arms. "You want to fight?"
Ayanokouji ignored the threat. "Ishikawa-kun, should an 'ordinary' high school student be interested in clubs?"
Ren answered with a listless sigh. "An ordinary student isn't interested in 'clubs,' they're interested in their 'interests'."
"That's a bit confusing," Ayanokouji said, his face as blank as ever.
Not far away, Hirata happened to glance over. A warm, motherly smile spread across his face. "See?" he whispered to himself. "Aren't they getting along well?"
____________________________________________________________________________
Latest chapter - Chapter 22 : Shackled by Kindness
Check out my Patreon to access advanced chapters.
patreon.com/UrbanQuill
Part 3 Of The Slacker's Guide to Surviving the Heian Court is out for free so check it out on Patreon.