Once upon a time, there had been a makeshift classroom in the basement of Kaneki's school. The walls had been made of cement blocks, off white paint filling up gaping pores in the simple design. The children had sat in uncomfortable wooden desks, carved up by generations past with pens and pencils, names and phrases scrawled across backrests in jerky kanji. There had been a single black board, a desk at the front for the teacher, and no light but a dim, fading light bulb that hung limply from the ceiling.
Kaneki had often lamented to Hide, who had the privilege of not having that particular class, that the classroom had the atmosphere of a prison.
Stale air, stale light, no character to liven up the cold, bare walls. Every class had felt like a day serving up a sentence. It had been a terrible class, and not even Kaneki had been able to keep up with the low droning of his elderly, stammering teacher.
He'd begun to mark off the days on the backrest of the desk in front of him. The days until he'd be free of the terrible, stifling basement, of the flickering yellow light bulb and the naked white cement walls.
This prison felt the same.
As far as he could tell, from the tallies he'd made on the wall behind his bed with the point of a hairpin, he'd been in this cell for about a week. Possibly longer, considering he'd only added one day between procuring the pin and waking up. It was quiet, a perpetual drone of buzzing silence that vibrated in the front of his brain, a pile of bees agitating the wounds of the past. The space behind his eyes, which should have been hollow from the damage done by that damn dove.
There were doves here. Lots of them. They were the ones who passed a weird, slurpy concoction through a slot in his door. They did not come in, but he knew it was them who took him away in his sleep, because when he woke up he had a strange aching feeling around the inside of his elbow. When he rubbed the sensitive skin, thumbing the thin flesh above vibrant blue veins, he felt nothing. But he knew better. They must have taken a gallon of blood from him for any pain to linger.
He busied himself in the only way he could. He did pushups, sit-ups, and stretched himself a whole lot, like how Touka had taught him. By the seventh day of captivity he was trying to flip off walls. He landed in hilarious little heaps, so he moved his bed so he might land on it instead. That softened the blows a little.
He knew he was being watched, but he was bored, and this was a really good chance to build up the strength he'd lost.
Hide must be worried, he thought more than once.
Kaneki did a full flip off the wall eight days into his captivity. He stumbled a little, his feet dragging against the cool floor. And then a great laugh bubbled in his chest. He pumped his fist into the air excitedly, bouncing on his heels and grinning broadly to himself. If he could flip, he could fight head to head against both ghouls and doves.
By the tenth day, he could do a one armed handstand for a minute and a half.
His door slid open in the middle of such an exercise, and his focus broke. He yelped as he crashed to the floor, curling up above his throbbing right arm. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, blinking up at the dove with large eyes.
"Hi," he said. His voice was hoarse from disuse.
He wasn't particularly scared. He knew that whatever was happening right now, they couldn't keep him locked up forever. He told himself that, because it kept him sane. They were just doing tests to confirm what Kaneki had told that girl at the desk. They were just making sure he was really human.
He wondered how that had gone.
It was a woman. She jerked her chin at him. "Hands," she said. He noted she had a pair of shackles in her fist. Kaneki offered out his wrists, and she locked the handcuffs around them, jerking him toward the door.
They exited his cell into a curving hall that overlooked a circular gap. The floors were rings around an empty space. And there were a lot of floors.
Kaneki gaped, blinking rapidly to be sure he was seeing right.
"Um," he gasped as the woman shoved him forward. "Where are we?"
"Don't speak."
He clamped his mouth shut.
It was best to be a good prisoner. He wanted information, and in order to get that he had to play obedient. He glanced down at his shackles, and he wondered how easy it would be to escape. But he reminded himself that he was trying to get on the CCG's good side.
This had been a really bad idea.
Better the CCG than Aogiri, he told himself fiercely.
It was true. He was much more comfortable and much more sane than he'd been when captured by Aogiri. Far less scared too. He felt somewhat safe here, despite the fact that he knew he was being probed in his sleep. It was invasive, but he'd been through worse.
He was led to a large, empty room, and seated before a yawning window. He stared vacantly at the two men before him. A shivery feeling consumed his stomach as he stared into the half-crazed eyes of the white haired investigator that had killed Mrs. Fueguchi.
Kaneki had no clue what his face looked like. But he must have looked terrified, because the man's face split into a wide smirk.
"Hello there." The man's voice was rather raspy, and he seemed to coo as he spoke, as though he were speaking to a child. "Ken, was it?"
Kaneki sunk lower into his seat, his defense mechanisms kicking in at full blast. This man was not someone he could ever like or trust or be civil with. He bit his tongue, and his eyes averted sharply toward the tall man standing at a distance. Suddenly the chill that the mad-eyed investigator had given him dissipated.
In a different life, with the dust of crumbling buildings clinging to his mouth, he'd pleaded with this man to let rivalries die. That simple, desperate smile tugged at the muscles of his mouth, a ghost on his lips. He couldn't see a way to stop it. If you would, that silly boy had said, polite and soft as ever, may I ask… your name?
Koutarou Amon, he thought.
How different he seemed now, distanced from the field of battle, turning his face to the injustice that was being shoved before him.
The man's words hung inside Kaneki's head, vague and whispery. Ghoul bastard. Like the dust that had clogged Kaneki's throat. It stung in his eyes. The only place you're going is Cochlea.
He jolted upright. A revelation swung its mighty fist, crashing into the side of his head and whipping his face to meet the mad man's.
"Am I in Cochlea?" he blurted before he could stop himself.
Amon's eyes flashed. The mad man's thin lips parted into a pursed little O, his brow rising minutely.
"Now," the man said, leaning forward so his breath nearly misted upon the glass. "Where'd you hear a thing like that?"
Fear latched on to him once more. He stammered as he spoke. "I-I heard it here, I think," he said, leaning back in his seat. "I don't know where. Maybe when I was taken out of my room?"
"This is the first time you've been released," Amon stated sharply. It was not in an unkind voice. He was merely stating it like a correction, like a teacher scolding a student for shouting the incorrect answer.
"No," Kaneki said very quietly. "No, I've definitely been taken out of my room before. They do it when I'm asleep." He shifted his hands, listening to the chains jostle. He was wearing what could only be described as prison garb. Rough and scratchy cloth, limp and shapeless and gray.
Amon frowned, and he glanced at the mad man. He took a few careful steps forward, and Kaneki knew immediately that he'd been really trying to keep his distance. There was a rift here. Kaneki could sense it. They were arguing, he realized. Before they came in here, they were disagreeing on something.
"You were asleep?" Amon squinted at him.
"Are you sure you weren't simply having an elaborate dream?" the mad man suggested cheerfully.
Kaneki flushed. He stared at them, his entire body hunched and locked in defense. "Um…" He bit his lip. "Do you think I'm stupid, or something?" The man's expression remained unchanged, but Amon's eyes narrowed. "Have you ever been held captive before? You become hyper aware of everything around you. Especially when you don't have contact with anyone. I know what blood being drawn feels like. That's fine, you can take as much blood as you want. But whatever else was done to me, I really would like to know. Please."
"This was done while you were sleeping," Amon clarified, "without your consent?"
"Yes," Kaneki said. He lowered his head, his heart beating hard in his chest. A shock of defiance ran through him, and he muttered, "I guess because I'm a ghoul now, I don't have any real rights."
He bit back a satisfied smirk when Amon jerked upright. His eyes moved sharply to the mad man's face, and he stared for a long time while the man leaned forward.
"Let's start simple," he said. He pulled out a clipboard and rested it on a little shelf beneath the window. "Answer to me truthfully. Yes or no only. Your name is Kaneki Ken?"
"Yes."
"You went on a date with a young woman, Kamishiro Rize, who was a ghoul?"
"Yes."
"Kamishiro Rize's organs were transplanted into you by one Kanou Akihiro?"
"Yes…"
"And since then you have been displaying ghoul-like behavior?"
Kaneki sighed. "Yes," he hissed.
"Good, good." The man flipped the page. "Now let's get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? Do you crave human flesh?"
Kaneki swallowed thickly. He looked away. "Listen… I—"
"Yes or no," the man said coolly.
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Yes," he murmured. He felt ashamed. He saw Amon shift uneasily out of the corner of his eye.
"Have you considered attacking and subsequently consuming a human?"
"I... No," he said quietly. He took a deep breath. "No."
He noticed the pause there, and he looked up. The man was eying him distrustfully. Amon's eyes had risen as well. He looked strangely hopeful. He's on my side, Kaneki thought excitedly.
Now he just had to sway the mad man.
"You don't want to eat humans?" the mad man asked in a slow, tender voice. He leaned forward, and gestured with his thumb and forefinger. "Not even a tinsy bit?"
"No," Kaneki said firmly. "I can't eat my own kind."
"But you are a ghoul?"
"Well, I mean…"
"Yes or no."
"Yes," Kaneki snapped. "Yes, I am a ghoul."
"But you claim humans are your own kind?"
"Yes."
"Are you human?" Amon cut in, leaning over the man's head and staring through the glass heatedly. "Tell me, do you believe you are still human?"
"Yes." Kaneki did not miss a beat. He matched the man's stare. A shot of adrenaline ran through him, and he remembered all the past meetings, and all the past tears, because he knew this man could understand. He had the empathy, the compassion. This man could change everything, if he'd just let himself believe.
"But you said you're a ghoul," the mad man said. "You cannot be both."
"How do you know?" Kaneki's eyes raised and widened. "Have you ever met anyone like me before? I'm half a ghoul, half a human. I won't choose which side is more dominant. It'd be impossible."
The man carefully set aside the clipboard. He watched Kaneki with his one droopy eye sparkling.
"Why did you come to the CCG, Ken?"
Kaneki's eyes narrowed at him. "I guess I was under the illusion that you could help me," he said vacantly.
"We don't help ghouls."
"Then help a few humans," Kaneki pleaded. "Myself included. I don't want to hurt anyone!"
"And how should we help you with that?" The man cocked his head to the side. "Feed you little scraps of human meat we find lying around?"
"Stop pretending like I'm stupid," Kaneki sighed. "This is a prison for ghouls, if I've got it right. You feed the ghouls here, don't you? Just give me whatever you give them."
The man's lips stretched thinly in a vague grin. "Huh." He tapped his chin with one long finger. "So in exchange for nutrition… what will you do for us?"
There it was.
The Faustian bargain finally revealed itself.
Kaneki was prepared for it.
"I'll fight for you," he said, his eyes flashing between the two men. "I'm part ghoul, so I'm pretty durable, and I have a kagune. Which I'm sure you figured out when you probed me in my sleep."
"Probed is such an ugly word!" The man pouted a little. "I'd think of it like an examination."
Amon's entire face grew shadowy as he turned his face away. Perhaps he thought that averting his eyes would change the scene, change the reality, that there was a human before him who was also a ghoul, who they'd failed to protect, who they'd failed to help when he was still all good and pure and completely human.
"Thank you," Kaneki said coldly. "I like the idea of being examined in my sleep so much better."
"Kaneki," Amon said gently. That was shocking. How soothing and soft the man's voice had become. "I know how this must seem to you, but we really do want to help you. If you're serious—"
"I'm dead serious." Kaneki let his shackled hands rest on his shelf, and he lifted his chin high. "Get me out of here, stop me from eating humans, and I'll be a dove or whatever."
"Dove?" The mad man asked curiously. Kaneki blanched, a rock dropping into his stomach. "What on earth do you mean by that?"
"That's street slang," he explained hastily. "I heard it from some guy at my university. People call the CCG doves because they wear white, or something. I don't really know for sure, there might be a different reason, but I mean, I just kind of assumed."
"That's fascinating."
Kaneki shrugged, lowering his head and praying for his life.
"Well then, Kaneki Ken," the man said, pushing his chair back and standing up. "I'll take you up on that offer. Welcome to the CCG."
Kaneki's mouth fell open. "Just like that?" he asked weakly.
"You got it." He patted Amon's arm. The tall man was, for the first time, inscrutable. He stared at Kaneki for a long time. And then they both disappeared. Kaneki sat confusedly, glancing down at his cuffed wrists, and he twisted around in his seat to see if anyone was in the room with him. He toyed with the links of the chain, considering how much force it'd take to snap them.
The door slid open, and Kaneki stared vacantly as Amon stepped into the room, moving slowly toward him. When Kaneki spotted the keys in his hand, he stood up. Amon took Kaneki by the arm, his fist massive in comparison to Kaneki's scrawny forearm, and the cuffs unlocked with a click. A weight was lifted from Kaneki as the shackles were stripped away. He let himself relax for a bare moment.
"Thank you," he whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them. Amon was watching him with drooping eyes.
"Don't thank me just yet," he said quietly. And then he turned sharply and left the room. Kaneki followed, not sure what else to really do.
His bare feet were chilled against the tile floor as he met the mad man face to face. He had his brief case. His lop-sided smirk. His crazed, protruding, drooping eye. And he offered out his hand.
"Mado Kureo," he said brightly. "You will be working under me."
Kaneki wanted to ask why. He was close to objecting, inquiring about the way the CCG worked, because this didn't really seem right to him. But he let it go.
They left Cochlea in a car, Kaneki sitting awkwardly in the back seat with his clothes in his lap. His bare feet rubbed against the wiry carpet of the car, and he glanced between the two investigators uneasily. Okay, so he'd infiltrated the CCG somewhat successfully. Now what? He'd thought over plans and strategies during his week and a half in captivity.
Firstly, he would need to figure the date. Map out a timeline for when things would happen. If he didn't know exactly what was going to happen next, what was the point of being from the future? Secondly, he had to sway people toward sympathizing with ghouls. How the hell was he going to do that?
"So this Kamishiro Rize," Mado called, twisting in his seat to peer at Kaneki. Amon was driving. "You think she's really dead?"
Kaneki blinked rapidly. "That's what the doctor said," Kaneki said cautiously. He was scared of what he might say around this man. His eyes seemed to stare right through Kaneki, and he could simply figure every lie out before it was even spoken.
"How did you know?" Mado's eyes were twinkling. "That you were a ghoul, I mean. You were hardly even out of the hospital before you went to the CCG. What else did that doctor tell you?"
Kaneki's jaw tightened. "I figured it out," he said, "when I started seeing people less like people and more like meat."
"Oho?" Mado turned about, facing forward. "And how does that feel?"
"Terrible." Kaneki met Amon's eye in the rearview mirror. He swallowed very thickly, and he sighed. "It's not like anything a human could ever experience. It hurts. There's like an empty pit in my stomach that needs to be filled, and the longer it's left to hollow me out, the less of me there is to resist it."
"Well," Amon said sharply. "It's a good thing you came to us, then."
Kaneki nodded slowly. "Yeah…" He sunk into his seat. "Excuse me, um… Mr. Mado?"
"Hmm?"
"You know that there were things done to me in my sleep." Kaneki stared at the man's back, his stringy white hair falling in long waves by his hunched shoulders. "I really need to know what happened."
"Do you really, though?"
"Mado," Amon hissed, his chin jerking rather sharply as he shot the man a heated glance.
Mado hummed quietly to himself. His shoulders rose and fell stiffly. "I have no real authority with Cochlea," he said loftily. "But I'll receive your file once all the proper paperwork is documented. My guess is that you were being monitored. Your RC levels, your heart rate, the organs that were transplanted, your kakuhou. That fun stuff."
Kaneki followed his words easily, but he caught himself before he nodded. He needed to remember that he was supposed to be a human boy, human and unassuming, and he already acted like he knew far too much. He really shouldn't know anything about ghouls.
"Um," he said with a nervous laugh. "What's… RC? And a— a shining wrap?" He smiled sheepishly. "That sounds so silly!"
"A kakuhou is the sack you've got hidden somewhere inside you," Mado explained with a low, slow voice, like the narration of a history special. "It releases your kagune. Which you already knew about."
"Yeah…"
"There are four types of kagune," Mado continued, "ukaku, koukaku, rinkaku, and bikaku. Where is your located?"
"Uh… like…" Kaneki's hand moved toward the small of his back. "Lower back? I guess."
"Toward the tailbone?"
"No, higher."
"A rinkaku," Amon said quietly.
"I'd love to see that," Mado chuckled. He said it in a strange, heightened tone, a giddiness hanging there that reminded Kaneki of displaced hunger. "So what happened to make it come out? I need to know, was it hunger? Excitement? Fear?"
"Fear," Kaneki said dully.
"Of what?"
Kaneki remembered Nishiki. Fuck, he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose. I have to go deal with him. Could they still be friends? Kaneki hoped so, but like hell Nishiki would ever trust a dove.
"My friend was in danger," he said quietly. "I was scared for him."
"Now wait a minute." Mado waggled a finger, never looking back. "Does this friend know you're a ghoul?"
"He's human too, Mado, don't forget," Amon said.
"Yes, yes, but the ghoul part is more important, I think." Mado shrugged. "So does he know?"
Kaneki didn't respond. He was terrified of what would happen if he said the wrong thing. If Mado didn't like the answer. He was trying to save Hide, damn it!
But, of course, Hide was human. He inherently had better odds with the CCG than Kaneki did.
"He does," Kaneki said quietly. "He told me not to tell anyone. He probably thinks I skipped town because I disappeared for so long."
"He knows and he accepted you?" Mado sounded dubious.
"Listen, I'm shocked too." Kaneki sighed. "He's just a really good person."
"I'd like to meet this boy." Mado straightened up. "Where does he live?"
The shivery feeling from earlier returned with a vengeance, and Kaneki felt a little nauseous. He stayed silent, his horror likely written on his face. He was now becoming aware of how precarious his situation was. These people could easily lock him back up, or kill him, or kill everyone he loved.
Why was he doing this?
"Well?" Mado sounded impatient.
"He's scared," Amon said. "You're scaring him."
"What's there to be scared of?" Mado's odd, bulging eyes flickered to Kaneki's face, and a wide smirk appeared on his wormy lips. "No harm will come to your friend so long as he's human."
"And if not you'll just kill him?" Kaneki shrunk in his seat. "That's terrible."
"Ghouls are an infestation, Ken." Mado's smirk was resting in place. Plastered onto his sunken face, unshakable amidst the discomfort that Kaneki set forward. "Tell me, how did your little date with that ghoul girl go? What happened before those beams fell on her?"
Kaneki shot him a cold look. He couldn't really reply, because no matter what he said it would reflect poorly on him.
"Fufu, thought so!" Mado straightened and turned around. "You've been cooped up for quite awhile, Ken. Don't you want a familiar face to greet you?"
It was cruel of him to prey on Kaneki's weaknesses like that.
"He's at Kamii University," Kaneki murmured.
Hide isn't a ghoul, Kaneki thought firmly. I have nothing to worry about.
He was still prickling with a sharp, anxious fear as the drive continued. He thought about Hinami, about Touka, about this man's demise, and he tried to remember when that happened, he tried to rationalize that it might not happen. He had to hope that it wouldn't be necessary. That Hinami would be safe with her mother. That Mrs. Fueguchi would survive this time.
Wasn't that why he was doing this?
"I look like a criminal," Kaneki muttered as he exited the car. His bare feet scraped the pavement, and he hugged his clothes to his chest. "What happened to my shoes?"
"They must've lost them," Mado said brightly. "After all, Cochlea isn't really used to simply letting prisoners go!"
His voice was so loud and harsh, it echoed across the campus, and a few heads turned their way. Kaneki flushed.
"Why don't we go to the bathroom, Kaneki," Amon suggested. He was being very polite, speaking softly and using a simple honorific. He spoke as though he were speaking the name as forwardly as he could without being rude. Kaneki-san, though not quite with the inflection that would imply Mr. Kaneki.
"Okay," Kaneki said slowly, turning away from Mado. "Um, they're this way…"
"I can wait here," Mado said, plopping down on a bench and setting his briefcase down. "We're in no rush."
Kaneki didn't stick around any longer than that. He walked away, Amon following quietly, and when they were a good distance away from Mado, Kaneki let out a great sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry," Amon said. Kaneki jumped, and he glanced up at him. "I know he can be a lot to handle, but please don't judge him too harshly. He's a good man."
A good man. The words echoed in Kaneki's head. No, that's not right. Mr. Yoshimura is a good man. Mado is a lunatic.
That was wrong. The wrong word, the wrong language. He was wrong. Mado was a human with the disposition of a ghoul. He hungered for the kill, thrived on the satisfaction, glorified his trophies. What game was he playing? What did he gain from this senseless cruelty?
"You say not to judge him," Kaneki murmured. "But did he not judge me immediately? Just for being a ghoul?"
"You're not a ghoul," Amon told him in that soft voice that suggested pity and fondness. It was so strange to hear from this man. This foe of a friend, this man who had tried and tried to understand a bastard ghoul who hadn't a clue what he was doing.
"Would that make it easier for you to like me?" Kaneki asked him sharply. Amon eyebrows arched up beneath his neatly combed bangs.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me tell Mado that I was a ghoul." Kaneki quickened his steps, his chest seizing up at the stares he was getting. Relax, he told himself. This is fine. People stare all the time. Pressure, pressure, like a thumb against an eggshell. The eggshell was his skull, and the thumb was humanity. "I won't pretend to be something I'm not for the CCG. If I'm going to fight for you as a ghoul, then you are going to acknowledge that I am a ghoul."
"Do you want to be a ghoul?" Amon sounded so shocked. Kaneki supposed that was within reason. Last time, Kaneki had been so disgusted with himself. So ashamed and scared of what being a ghoul meant. But now he knew better. Now he knew that being a ghoul… it wasn't the end of the world. There were good ghouls, and there were bad ghouls, and sometimes there were muddied ghouls with no real place anywhere. Humans were just the same.
It was all the same.
"Um…" Kaneki shuffled his feet, dragging them as he walked. "Honestly, I don't know how to answer that question. I would rather be human, but I'm not going to ignore who I am now because of that."
"You weren't given a choice," Amon told him. As if he didn't already know. "You shouldn't have to feel like you need to accept it."
"No offense," Kaneki laughed weakly, "but I'm pretty sure the fast track to losing your mind is to hate yourself." I'd know, he added as an afterthought.
"Kaneki," Amon said as they entered the men's bathroom. "You understand what you're signing up for, don't you?"
Kaneki's bare toes stuck to the grimy tile floor as he marched up to a stall.
"I guess I really don't," he said, turning to face the man and smiling weakly. Amon had that look in his eyes again. Pure pity. "But I don't have any other choice, do I?"
It was either this, or let Anteiku crumble.
Even though he ended up dressed in the clothes he'd thrown on the night he'd gone to Anteiku, he was still barefoot. His jeans hung loosely at his hips, and he tugged at them dazedly. He'd already lost so much weight in such a short period of time. His ribs were protruding now.
He walked solemnly, Amon at his back, tailing him like a prison guard. His sweater was slipping against his thin shoulders, and he watched the hem of his jeans drag against the sidewalk. He seemed to have outgrown his old life in the matter of days.
A high-pitched cry knocked him out of his thoughts. He was caught by the shoulders, fingers digging into his skin and throttling him to and fro.
"Heee-ey!" Hide cried. The throttling did not cease. "Damn you, Kaneki, skipping class for so long! I don't know anybody in Asian History, put yourself in my shoes!" Kaneki's head snapped back and forth, his head rattling. Déjà vu was cruel and sharp, a lash upon his cheek. "Rabbits—!"
"Rabbits don't die of loneliness," Kaneki cut in, grabbing Hide by the shoulders and pushing him back sharply. "And you have no trouble making friends."
"Ooh!" Hide's eyes brightened considerably. "How'd you know I was gonna say that, Kaneki?" He nudged his shoulders back and forth gently. "Are you psychic or something?"
"Yes," Kaneki said flatly, vaguely dismayed at his slip up. "I can read minds."
"What am I thinking about right now?"
"Um." Kaneki rolled his eyes back into his skull. "Batman."
"Batwoman," Hide corrected, his eyes narrowing. "Shame on you. I only read quality comic books."
"You like Batman," Kaneki sighed, shoving him away.
"Shh!" Hide swatted him over the head. "Don't let anyone hear you! It's so conformist, it's embarrassing!" Hide jerked a finger at Kaneki's face. "Are you trying to ruin my street cred?"
"Are you kidding?"
"Nagachika!" Two students came wandering over. Kaneki stared at them, recalling that this had happened all before. "Are these guys your friends?"
"This one is, yeah!" Hide caught Kaneki in a headlock and laughed heartily. He glanced back at Amon, and he shrugged. "I don't know this guy, though. Howdy. You a friend of Kaneki's?"
"We're acquaintances," Amon said. He lowered his head. "I'm Koutarou Amon."
"Ah-mun," Hide repeated, stressing out syllables purposefully to sound silly. "Now that's a wicked name. Amon Ra, Amon of Judah, or the demon, Aamon?"
"What?" Kaneki said flatly.
Amon looked surprised. He merely stared, his jaw tight.
"Ha ha!" Hide laughed brightly. "Why don't I just call you Koutarou?"
"That's fair." Amon looked bemused. "That's certainly some impressive knowledge you have."
"Nah, bro," Hide said sheepishly, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "I just go on Wikipedia binges sometimes."
"Anyways," one of the students said. "We'll catch you later, Nagachika. Remember to get that DVD from Nishio, the one from last year's festival."
"Roger that!" Hide didn't even look at them as he waved them away. "So, Kaneki, you feeling any better?"
"Oh." Kaneki did not look at Amon. He scratched his chin, and he laughed. "Yeah, I'm way better now."
"Good!" Hide threw his arms behind his head and marched forward. "Hey, Koutarou, you can come with if you want. I just need to grab something from a classmate."
"That's fine." Amon sounded apprehensive. "After that, my partner and I need to speak with you."
"Your partner, you say?" Hide hummed. They were all walking at a leisurely pace, starting across campus. The sun-baked bricks cooked the soles of Kaneki's feet. "Are you a cop?"
"I'm a ghoul investigator."
Hide continued walking, his arms behind his head, his strides long and lazy. "Huh," he said, his voice peppered with his usual drawl. Kaneki couldn't believe it. Hide was a master at avoiding suspicion. "Ghouls? Really? Isn't that like, dangerous?"
"Someone has to do it," Amon said with a shrug.
"Heh." Hide shot him a half smile. "Okay, I can dig it. Give me some details, ghoul buster. What are ghouls like? Are they as powerful as people say? Can they really not eat human food?"
"Hide," Kaneki said quietly, glancing at Amon worriedly. The man had no real reaction. He merely continued walking.
"Well," he said, "ghouls look to be about the same as humans. They very powerful though."
"And they have to eat humans?" Hide lowered his arms at his sides. "That's not just an urban legend? Not just a tall tale told to kids at night to spook them?"
"Hide," Kaneki sighed, "he knows that you know."
Hide didn't stop walking. His playful expression turned stony, and he just kept moving, step after step after step, a heavy silence blanketing them.
Finally he spoke.
"Koutarou," he said, "can I ask a question?"
"Certainly…" Though Amon didn't look too positive he wanted to hear one.
Hide spun on his heels, snapping them together and standing at attention, like a soldier in the presence of a commanding officer or something. He stared at Amon with large eyes.
"Why did you keep him locked up for almost two weeks?" Hide's voice was clipped and emotionless. His eyes were hollow. He stared into Amon's face, and he stared through it. "That was, frankly, a violation of Kaneki's rights."
"Technically the CCG can withhold him simply for being a ghoul," Amon informed Hide in a similarly clipped tone.
"That's illogical and puritanical," Hide snapped. "You can't just take people and lock them up. Is there even a law in Japan stating you can imprison ghouls? Do ghouls have a right to a fair trial? Has there ever even been a ghoul on trial for being a ghoul before? No, of course not, silly me." He laughed, and it was a harsh, strained sound. "You can't put someone on trial for existing."
"Hide," Kaneki gasped, grabbing Hide's arm and shooting him a warning look. "I'm fine. Nothing happened, okay?"
"Okay, buddy."
And he dropped it. Just like that.
"This'll be quick, Koutarou," Hide explained about five minutes later as they moved through a hall. "Nishiki's not really much of a gabber, so we'll have that chat soon, I guess."
Hide reached a door marked AO, and Kaneki watched his hand go to the handle. Kaneki snatched it, twisting it away from the door and elbowing Hide in the ribs.
"Ow," Hide squeaked, "ow, ow, ow!"
"Don't just barge into people's rooms, Hide," Kaneki hissed. "Knock first."
"Is that really necessary?"
"Yes." Kaneki tapped his knuckles against Nishiki's door twice.
Then he realized. He glanced at Amon.
Fuck.
His eyes widened in horror.
He just brought a ghoul investigator to Nishiki.
He was such a fucking idiot.
There was shuffling from the other side of the door, soft noises, Kimi's quiet, panicked words muffled by the distance. Kaneki released Hide's arm, taking a few careful steps back.
"Hey," he whispered to Amon. "We should go, don't you think? I need to find shoes."
"Oh yeah," Hide said thoughtfully, glancing at Kaneki's feet. "What happened to them?"
"No clue." Kaneki tapped Amon on the arm. The man began to turn slowly, following Kaneki's lead as the door slid open.
Kimi exited the room hastily, her shirt a little ruffled, but otherwise she was composed. She met their gazes, and she tipped her head, hurrying down the hall until they could no longer hear the soft padding of her feet against tile. Hide followed her with his eyes.
"Huh," he said vacantly. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Nishio."
"Did you want something, Nagachika?" Nishiki's voice was thick and dull from inside the room. Kaneki stood very still. If he could just prevent Amon from actually seeing Nishiki, maybe…
"Just stopping by for that festival DVD thing," Hide laughed, slamming the door wide open. Kaneki and Amon were suddenly in plain view of the room, and Nishiki rocked back in a rolling chair, his shirt tugged down past his collarbone.
Amon hunched a bit. He looked uncomfortable. Out of place, probably. He was, after all, quite grown up in comparison to all the students he'd just met.
The scent of coffee wafted toward Kaneki, and he was reminded with a punch in the gut of Anteiku. If he stood there long enough, letting the strong, acrid aroma fill his nose, he could almost pretend like he was there again. Like there was a chance he could return.
Kaneki watched Nishiki's eyes. They ran over Kaneki's face without any sign of emotion, but there was a momentary flash when his gaze reached Amon. A spark of fear. Apprehension. Anger.
Caution.
"Who're these guys?" He cocked his head to the side, his body language loose and relaxed. His words were still thick, and Kaneki caught a hint of tension, but he figured if Amon heard it then he'd just chalk it up to killed arousal.
"Oh, this is my buddy Kaneki!" Hide clapped Kaneki on the shoulder and grinned broadly. "I think I told you about him, or something? Been friends since we were kids?"
"Yeah, I remember." Nishiki adjusted his glasses and stood up. "And who's the big guy?"
"Koutarou Amon," Amon introduced himself curtly, bowing very respectfully. He stayed at the threshold as Hide dragged Kaneki into the room.
"You don't look like a student." Nishiki turned away, striding at a leisurely pace past his couch and kicking open a drawer. "Are you a guest speaker or something?"
I forgot how good he was at pretending, Kaneki thought, vaguely awed as he watched Nishiki thumb through a stack CD cases.
"No, actually, I just was dropping Kaneki off." Amon sounded sheepish. Perhaps he realized how strange his presence was. "I simply got roped into Nagachika's errands."
"Aw, don't be like that, Koutarou," Hide laughed. "I said it'd be quick, didn't I?"
"Well." Nishiki was still crouching. "You guys… can just come in. If you want a beer or something, help yourself."
Kaneki was already in the room, and he felt a gnawing fear as Amon entered behind him.
"How old are you?" Amon asked cautiously.
"Legal." Nishiki stood, stretching his legs and then stretching his arms. "Ah. Nagachika and them are still underage. What, you gonna rat them out if they have a beer?"
"I'm simply going to advise against it," Amon said carefully.
Nishiki threw his hands up, his eyes closing behind his glasses. "Just trying to be a gracious host." He rolled his eyes and went back to rummaging. "Since you ruined my date."
"Aw, you know me, Nishio," Hide said with a shrug. "Master of bad timing."
A soft buzzing sound filled the room, and all eyes turned to Amon. He excused himself quickly, bowing out of the room and closing the door behind him. They watched, and Nishiki whistled.
"That guy is straight laced as fuck," he noted. His eyes moved toward Kaneki. They flicked toward his bare feet. "Did you get mugged, or something?"
"No." Kaneki shuffled awkwardly. "I… why would a mugger take shoes?"
"Why wouldn't a mugger take shoes?" Nishiki scoffed. He rolled his eyes again. "What size are you?"
"Huh?" Kaneki leaned back in alarm. He wasn't really sure why there wasn't any real hostility in Nishiki's tone or actions, especially considering Kaneki had brought a dove into his territory, but he was sort of grateful. Kaneki and Nishiki had really gotten off on the wrong foot the first time.
Nishiki tossed him a pair of sneakers, worn and a little muddy. They collided with the tile, one rolling and tipping onto its side, shoelaces spilling in a trail of white and brown.
"You don't have to—!" Kaneki gasped.
"I've been meaning to throw them away," Nishiki said flatly. "Take them or leave them."
"Thank you…" Kaneki slid his feet into the well-worn sneakers. His soles were grateful for the relief.
"Wow, Nishio," Hide gasped. They could all hear Amon's voice murmuring softly in the hall. "I didn't know you could be so nice!"
"What, you think I'm mean, Nagachika?"
"Oh, no, no!" Hide laughed. "Just distant, that's all. You've got this whole cool, calculated, computer hacker type thing going on!"
"That's the desired effect." He plucked a disc from the pile and tossed it at Hide. He caught it, holding it up triumphantly and grinning. "Well, if that's all…?"
"Yep, that's it!" Hide beamed. "Thanks, Nishio!"
"Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Nagachika." It was almost playful, but there was a slight bite to his words. He wanted them gone.
"Oh, no worries, it's a sliding door, silly!" Hide winked, catching Kaneki by the elbow and dragging him toward the door.
"Bye, Nishio," Kaneki said distantly, unaware of his slip up even with the bemused stare that followed him.
He realized too late he'd said Nishio-senpai.
The door slid open just as Hide and Kaneki were attempting to leave. Amon stood there, blinking down at them. Behind him, Mado stood, peering into the room. Kaneki shouldered past them both, quick to move into the hall and away from Nishiki. Hide and Amon followed, but Mado lingered.
Kaneki turned back. He stared at the mad man for a moment as he gazed forward, his feet edging the line of the threshold. His briefcase hung limply at his thigh.
The door slammed shut.