According to Emmett, entering hell wasn't the same as being outside of it. The town, the buildings, and the stars were all the same – yeah, the same thing happened with the pavement and the vehicles. But not him.
At least snow was still snow, and rain was still rain.
What if there was some way to purge his sins? What would it be? The school? Or maybe continuing his animal-based diet? Even as he thought that, a certain knowledge invaded him – the kind of knowledge that makes the skin prickle and the heart freeze: purgatory didn't exist, and he wasn't dead either.
Well, that wasn't entirely true.
He was dead, but he was a living dead. Trapped in an infernal monotony from which he would never escape. Because for most vampires, life is like that. A hell.
Not everything was bad. He could have wrestling matches with Jasper, play chess with Rosalie and Andrew – the only two contenders because Edward and Alice predicted their moves, and he didn't like that – make jokes that only his family understood. However, in that family environment that made him feel loved and accompanied...he also felt something else. It was a nothingness that moved, a nothingness full of bitterness, of yearnings. It made him feel pain, anger, and especially loneliness.
It was envy. Envy toward his family in a small sense: they had someone to share that long bitterness with.
Andrew had Rosalie, Jasper had Alice, Carlisle had Esme, even Edward had Bella, and she was still human. Instead, he was alone. And no one had ever interested him enough to steal his breath.
Or so he thought.
It wasn't obvious at first. Nor were the gloves the thing that sparked his interest.
It was a gradual change.
But it definitely started when he saw her for the first time: A small girl, with light brown hair and honey eyes. He thought she was an angel.
An angel in demonic territory.
Every time he had seen her, she had managed to surprise him. He liked the way she always said what she was thinking, and he liked that she was unfazed by him. A completely novel experience, just like the thought of wanting to make a good impression on her.
However, Emmett was a vampire. And Nell had the sweetest blood he had smelled in ninety years. He wanted to bite her. But the golden color of his eyes was the reflection of his own choice. So everything was going to be okay.
At least, that's what he hoped.
—I know, I know. —He reiterated. His family surrounded him as if he were in a courtroom.
—Of course you don't know, Emmett. —Rosalie accused—You don't know the danger that human is in with you and with us. If something were to happen we'd have to move. And I don't want to move yet.
—None of that is going to happen, Rose. — he tried to convince her.
She got serious.
—I repeat that you don't know. —she pointed out. And then she crossed her arms—So no, I don't support this relationship. I'm sorry it's not the answer you were expecting.
—Actually, I expected it. —he admitted arrogantly.
Rosalie turned and faced her brothers.
—Edward.
He smiled slyly.
—I'm sorry, but I do support it.
Rosalie sighed.
—Sure...—she complained—I forgot who you were with.
—Rose...—Andrew tried to take her arm, but she broke free.
—No! We already have enough problems with Bella to add another human to the family.
—It's not the same. —Emmett defended—And you know it.
—The important thing here…—Carlisle intervened, approaching—is what you feel for that girl. Is it because of her blood? Or is it something else?
Emmett frowned, analyzing their questions.
—I don't know—he admitted honestly—. I just think this hell is better when I'm with her.
Everyone looked at each other. There was something tacit between them, like a secret that they didn't want to tell anyone. Emmett rolled his eyes.
—Okay, enough. I don't like feeling excluded from your mental conversations. Everything you have to say, tell me to my face—he demanded.
Alice and Edward exchanged glances. However, the first to speak was Andrew:
—Do you plan to transform her?
Emmett held his gaze.
—I already told you: I don't know. I'm just getting to know her.
—Yes, and you're exposing us.
—Rosalie. —Carlisle rebuked. And she huffed, turning her face.
For a brief moment, Alice went into one of her strange visions. Jasper hugged her while waiting for her to finish.
—Emmett is right. —she said, finally returning to reality—Everything is going to be okay.
Emmett couldn't stop his curiosity:
—What did you see?
The family paid close attention. However, Alice only smiled and said:
—If I tell you, it won't happen.
●●●
Nell didn't know when she fell asleep. If it was around three or four in the morning, but she dreamed about Emmett. He was standing in the middle of the meadow, alone. It was hot and the sun was lighting up his face in a way that highlighted his features. But from one moment to another, the sun was gone. And the atmosphere changed. Now they were on the Quillayute River. There were no noises, no murmurs, and Nell could only hear her heart beating.
—Emmett. —she called him—There's something here.
In the stillness that breathed, something surrounded her. Something ancient and angry, that watched, voracious.
—It's not something—Emmett contradicted, calmly, with his hands in his pockets—It's someone. Did you forget already?
Nell felt the wind on her neck and turned around. In the dim light that surrounded her, something was moving. She took one step and then another, feeling that the corruption was taking away all the light until only corruption remained.
"You will die here," the nothingness told her. "It's your destiny"
Then she saw his face clearly. Those honey eyes that blinked over an impatient and macabre smile.
It was her father.
At that moment, she knew that her voice had not been wrong. She was going to die. She felt the certainty so deep inside her, that it rose beyond all hope, all fear, all powerlessness.
She tried to run, but the river held her back as if it were quicksand. When her father grabbed her by the neck, she felt as if her flesh was being torn.
There was so much fury in him; so much anger, that when Nell saw his eyes she realized that she had become his prey. She wanted to shout at Emmett to run away, but he had already disappeared. There were only she and her father.
Nell struggled, frantic and numb. If she was going to die, she would fight. Although it didn't work. Her father immobilized her and, in the same way as her mother, began to pierce her skin. After the fifth stab, she stopped counting.
Her body fell into the river and only then did she wake up.
Gasping.
She stared at the sunlight filtering through the blinds. She felt difficulty for the air to leave her lungs. It wasn't the first time she had nightmares about her father. In fact; since the day everything happened, nightmares appeared alone. They didn't even knock on the door to ask for permission, they just broke in with a harrowing darkness.
However, it was the first time she dreamed with Emmett Cullen. And it frustrated her not to understand why. She didn't know him. She knew nothing about him. So, why does he interrupt her dreams that way?
Again, she didn't have the answer. And she decided it was best to forget it.
She tried to put aside the anger she felt for that. She concentrated on other things, such as the biology exam they would have shortly. Although even with that she couldn't achieve it.
—Hey, partner.
She lifted her head and saw Emmett sitting next to her with a smug smile. Leaving her somewhat dismayed.
—Don't you sit with your sister in this class?—she asked, hoping he would leave her table.
—Rosalie won't mind, well, not too much.
Nell looked at him in silence for a few seconds. Then she closed the book between her hands and faced him.
—Alright, what do you want?
Emmett looked at her with feigned innocence.
—Why would I want something?
—Because you're sitting at my table.
—Is there anything wrong with that?
Nell frowned, leaving her almost speechless.
—No but…—
—Does it bother you that I sit with you?
Nell was starting to get impatient.
—I never said that—she defended. Then she huffed, reopening her book—You know what? Do what you want.
—Are you already angry?—he asked her amused.
Nell sighed.
—Yes, but not with you. But with myself.
He frowned.
—Why?
Again she told him the truth:
—Nothing. A nightmare.
—Do you want to talk about it?
—Actually, no.
And it was true. She didn't want to have to repeat her dream in life. She already had many things to process. The only thing she did know about that dream - something she had complete certainty about - was that her father was still alive. Yes, he was in prison, but many serial killers manage to escape from maximum security prisons. And her father would not be the exception.
And the other thing she was sure of was that Emmett was the only person with whom she established a type of real bond in that place. They weren't friends, nor anything else, but he was the only one with whom she shared a chat of more than two minutes that wasn't based on her successful brother.
Nell felt comfortable by his side. But feeling comfortable meant she was letting her guard down. And that was something that shouldn't happen.
She looked up to look at him again and, when she connected gazes, she noticed another subtle thing.
—Do you use contacts?— blurted out without thinking.
Her unexpected question left him perplexed.
—No.
—I see your eyes differently.
Emmett shrugged and smiled.
—It's because of the ultraviolet light. They get dark because of that sometimes.
Nell had never heard of such a thing, so she couldn't help but feel curious about the subject.
She didn't manage to investigate much more because the teacher entered the room with the exams in his hand. No more than half an hour had passed when Emmett took his things and handed it in before leaving. She was stunned to see him. How did he do it so fast?
She shook her head and concentrated on finishing the exam on time.
When she left through the door, she was surprised to see him there, leaning next to the lockers. As if he had been waiting for her all that time.
Nell adjusted her bag and approached slowly.
—I thought you had left.
His lips curved, hiding a smile.
—I wanted to wait for you.
She raised an eyebrow.
—Why?
—Just because.
Nell sighed and started walking. He followed her.
—Where are you going?
—Why would I tell you?—she blurted out passive-aggressively—You don't answer any of my questions honestly. Why do you think I'd answer yours?
He stopped, staying a little behind. She looked at him.
—What do you want to know?—asked her, this time with more seriousness.
—How did you finish the exam so fast?
Emmett flashed a favorite mocking smile.
—Of all the things you could have asked, was that the only one that occurred to you?
Nell crossed her arms. She wasn't going to fall for provocations.
—Well?
He laughed, and then answered:
—I had seen this topic before.
—In another grade?—she wrinkled her forehead—Impossible, it's an advanced class.
—In another school.— Emmett took a deep breath—In several, in fact.
Nell observed him and took a step closer.
—Do you move often?
—Too much.
—And that's because?
He didn't answer at first. And that made Nell feel some guilt. She understood, more than anyone, what the invasion of privacy was. Just before he answered her, she interrupted:
—I'm sorry.—She lowered her head—You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.
He burst out laughing.
—What are you apologizing for? It is me who told you to ask. You can ask anything. In case I feel it's too personal, for your peace of mind, I'll let you know.
Without realizing it, Nell took a strand of her hair and began to twist it. She did it every time she was considering something.
—Okay.—She stopped twisting—Then, was the question I asked you very personal?
Emmett smiled and looked at her fixedly.
—Of course not. And, answering you, my parents don't like to settle down for too long in a place. So yes, we move often, even outside the country.
Nell observed him with interest.
—What was the worst place you've had to live?
Emmett raised his eyes to the sky as if he were thinking.
—New York.
—Really?
—What reason would I have to lie?
—Because as far as I know, 99.9% love to live in New York or want to do it someday.
—Well then I'll be that one remaining percent that hates it.—He wrinkled his face—It's a mess. There are so many people everywhere and you still don't stop attracting attention.
Nell smiled, stifling a laugh. It was completely absurd that Emmett didn't attract attention. He was like an action figure in a dollhouse.
—And the best place?
He didn't hesitate.
—This one.
—Forks?—she questioned incredulously. How could it be that the best place in the world was a rainy and dark little town?
Emmett smiled and placed his hands in the pockets of his pants.
—That's right.
Nell was about to ask why, but something caught her attention. The way he had shifted his weight from one leg to the other, his hands in his pockets, the relaxed smile that was plastered on his face.
He was just like in her dream.
She didn't know why he had made that posture just after having dreamed about her. But suddenly she was a little scared. She didn't know what it meant…
She couldn't say anything.
Only run.
She took a step back, then another.
—Nell?—Emmett scanned her from top to bottom, feeling that something was not right. Her pulse was accelerated.
—I have to go. —she warned softly. Then she walked away a little more, hiding the fear under a frown.
He began to worry.
—Everything's okay-...?—
—I'm sorry!
She ran away.
She reached the main road just when the first thunder rumbled. She began to run faster, noticing how the air became heavier around her.
When she saw her house, she burst into it. The furniture had finally arrived, but what worried her most was her brother Steve's face. His eyes were wide open and he had stood in front of the television screen so she couldn't see it.
However, she did.
A bright red bar crossed the bottom of the screen:
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