Nell understood trauma.
She understood it in a way that no amount of academic training could teach. She understood the way the brain can fundamentally screw up every other aspect of your body; the way your emotions can distort things, emotions you didn't even know you had. The way those emotions can keep you from seeing clearly, thinking clearly, doing anything clearly. The way they can make your head ache all the way to your fingertips. A dull, throbbing, constant pain that never goes away.
However, this was different.
What she saw and felt wasn't a product of trauma. It was real. She believed in her gift because it didn't lie. Nevertheless, she still had one question:
Who were the Cullens? Or, rather, what were they?
With that thought in mind, she woke up. It took her a while to realize that she was on a hospital bed, that her arm was connected to an IV, and that the whispers filling her ears were Dr. Cullen and her brother having a conversation.
Nell moved almost instinctively, letting them know she was awake. The Doctor was the first to reach her side.
—Eleanor, how are you feeling?—he asked.
A shiver ran through her. She felt that something was stealing her breath again; a skin that wasn't skin, sharp teeth that drew blood. She averted her eyes to the bedside table.
—I'm fine—she breathed, trembling—I want to go home.
Her brother looked at him.
—Is she able to, Doctor?
—Sure, just to be safe, we should do a CT scan. The bump was hard and...—
—No, no—she insisted. Tears were falling down her cheeks, and she started to feel hot—I'm fine. I just want to go home.
Steve came closer, worried. He put a hand on her hair and stroked it.
—Nell, what's wrong? Did something happen?
She shook her head but didn't say anything. Steve and the Doctor exchanged glances.
—It could be from the trauma—Cullen reasoned—Sometimes, when someone remembers things, it brings with it a series of negative emotions that aren't easy to stop—He looked Steve in the eyes—If that's the case, then it will take her a while to recover.
Steve frowned.
—How long?
—However long she needs.
Nell closed her eyes and continued listening.
—I'll go prepare the discharge papers.—Though Nell couldn't see it, she knew he turned his face towards her—Get well soon, Eleanor.
Of course she wouldn't.
Not after what she had seen. And the first thing she did when she got home was run upstairs and lock herself in her room.
She didn't come out of there for about two weeks. Her brother tried to reach out to talk to her, to find out what happened, but she didn't want to talk. She didn't want to hear whatever he had to say. And she didn't want to return to a world where the word "Inhuman" had gone from fiction to reality.
She wasn't ready to face it.
She wanted to stay hidden, safe in her room, where she could curl up under the duvet and ignore the rest of the world.
However, she didn't feel safe. She wondered if she would ever feel that way.
Knocks on her door snapped her out of her reverie.
—Nell, Luke's on the phone. He wants to talk to you.
She stopped reading and stared at the door in silence.
Steve sighed.
—He says he's going to keep calling until you talk to him.
Nell snorted, closed the book, and got out of bed to open the door. Steve handed her the phone, and she just took it without saying anything. Then, she closed the door.
—You're interrupting my reading—she protested as she sat back down on the bed.
—And you're interrupting my thoughts—Luke paused—. Seriously, how are you doing?
Nell laughed humorlessly.
—I should be asking you that. I haven't seen you in a month. —She dog-eared a page and closed the book—By the way, congratulations on the 30-day sobriety award.
She heard a laugh on the other end of the phone.
—Steve told you about that?
—There was no need. Our twin connection let me know.
Luke paused.
—Speaking of connection… is everything okay?
She thought for a moment.
—Why do you ask?
—Just because I feel like something's going on with you.
Nell sighed.
—Nothing's going on—she lied—I just haven't gotten used to living in this town yet.
"To living in a world where scary stories are real," she thought.
The line remained silent for a moment.
—You know I don't believe you, right?
—You never believe me.—She scoffed.
Nell could predict the wry smile on her brother's face through the phone.
—Sure I do. When you're telling the truth; which isn't the case.
—Okay, fine. If this is an intervention because of something Steve told you...
—Steve?—he interrupted, suddenly more attentive and worried—Did something serious happen?
Nell bit her lip. She couldn't tell him about the disappearances, or the fear she felt towards something she saw and still didn't understand. About schoolmates with angelic beauty but who only had angel-like appearances. That she saw her father not only in her dreams, but also outside of them. That it was possible that she wouldn't live for very long and she didn't know why.
She couldn't tell him any of that. So she took a difficult, but not so incorrect leap:
—If you're referring to Steve making me go to the doctor because of my state of 'insanity.' Then yes, something serious happened.
Luke cursed on the phone.
—For God's sake, Nell. Why didn't you say anything?
—Would it have changed anything?
—Of course it would have—He protested—I'd talk to him and...—
—And what?—she snapped abruptly—Tell him to stop treating me like a guinea pig? It's useless, I already tried. Besides, I know he did it with good intentions.
Luke laughed humorlessly.
—Yeah, well, his good intentions always hurt us.
The line went silent for a second.
—I'm sorry—he finally began—I know I should be there and help you. I hate not being able to.
—You're already helping me. The fact that you're helping yourself is a help to me—She looked down at her hands and bit her lips, almost on the verge of tears—And also, thanks for believing me. You were always the only one... the only...
She closed her eyes before a tear escaped.
—I'll always believe you. You're my little sister, Nell.
Eleanor smiled slightly.
—Oh, so now you're the older one?
—Come on—he complained—Don't ruin this moment.
This time, Nell couldn't help but laugh.
—Okay, I'll let it go.
Someone on the other end of the phone told Luke that his allotted ten minutes were up. He asked for one more minute to say goodbye, and the person grudgingly granted it.
—I think they're waiting for you.
—I know. They're pretty strict about the rules.
—Then go. Don't give them ammunition they can use against you.
—Before I go, I wanted to know... Did you keep the promise?
She was silent.
—I'll take your silence as a yes— He sighed softly—Was it that bad?
—It's not that.—She denied and grimaced—It was just weird.
—Nell, you haven't taken off your gloves in four years. Of course it was going to be weird.—She could hear him leaning back in his seat—Let me guess, you felt so many things at the same time that it overwhelmed you. Am I wrong?
Nell listened to him in disbelief.
—Do you have some kind of detector in me or something?
Luke laughed.
—Yeah. It's called twin telepathy.
—Well, your twin telepathy scares me. —admitted. She got up to stand in front of the window and watch the sunset.
Again, they insisted.
—I have to go. I've made them wait too long.
—Okay. Go safely.
—And Nell— he called her before hanging up—Are you sure that's all?
Her mind reviewed all those things that had stunned her in that last time.
—Yes—she confirmed—That's all.
She wasn't sure if she had done well, but she didn't want to overwhelm him with information that she didn't even understand. Someday she would tell him about the disappearances that were happening in town and how she felt about it. But not yet. It was too soon. Everything was too soon.
Even leaving the house was too soon. The closest contact she had with the outside was leaning out the window. She would open it, feel the humid and cold air that smelled like rain, and that was enough to convince her that she was better inside.
She closed her eyes and imagined Shelly; her body half-buried in the mud somewhere, and the rain that sweeps away any trace of evidence that may remain. If the body was buried very deep, there was no way to find it. Likewise... what had Emmett said?
"When something disappears, it does so forever."
She shuddered.
Now she wasn't imagining Shelly, but what she had seen. Those golden eyes that were charring; that skin that shone; sharp fangs dripping with blood.
At that moment she realized something that, however absurd it sounded, could be a possibility.
She walked over to the desk and lifted the lid of the computer. The screen glows when it turns on, and she opens a browser window, her fingers fluttering over the keys:
"Vampires"
Of all the results displayed in front of her, only one site looked promising. Only two descriptions caught her attention there: a powerful undead that could appear as a beautiful human with pale and glowing skin; a creature of such strength and speed that was capable of massacring an entire village in a single hour.
In her mind, Nell made a small catalog that compared what she read with what she knew so far: beauty, pale complexion, eyes that changed color. And then there were the more characteristic criteria: blood drinkers, cold skin.
And there was another additional problem as a result of what she remembered from the few horror movies she had seen and that was reinforced with those readings: vampires could not go out during the day because the sun would burn them to ashes. They slept in coffins all day and only came out at night.
So how was it possible that the Cullens didn't burn? Were they another different type of vampire with respect to those recorded in movies and books?
Exasperated, she closed the computer lid. She felt an overwhelming turmoil despite all the irritation. All this was so stupid!. She was sitting in her room tracking information about vampires. What was happening to her?
However, she couldn't find another logic. There was nothing like what she saw. Nothing... except vampires. One thing was to know, in an abstract way, that those beings were out there and haunted dark streets. Another very different thing was to know exactly that they were really out there.
She approached the window again.
Outside it wasn't raining, nor was it snowing. And the room, suddenly, had become very small.
She put on her boots, without clearly knowing where to go, and went down the stairs heavily.
—Where are you going?— Steve intercepted her as she was leaving the kitchen.
Nell turned around.
—I'm going for a walk!. Don't wait for me for dinner!
—What?. Wait, Nell!—he shouted, but she had already left.
●●●
In the end, she ended up in the woods.
While the Moon illuminated small areas of an esplanade, everything else remained in darkness.
She didn't like it. She felt it empty, exposed. And she remembered Shelly again: her with her eyes closed, her face blue, marble, dead.
She turned, ready to leave. It was a bad idea to leave the house. She still wasn't ready to face the world. Her eyes couldn't help but stray to a corner, a specific place. Something was happening. With the little light in front, the shadows divided. What she thought was a tree became a boy, and he was approaching her.
Eleanor held her breath. She couldn't see him well, but she immediately recognized Emmett's tall and muscular figure. He stopped about five meters from her, looking intently into her eyes.
Her instinct screamed that she should flee, however, there was something different about him. And that difference made her hesitate. He seemed to realize her intentions.
—Don't run— he said. It wasn't an order, but a request—Nell.
She remained still while he approached hesitantly, his eyes fixed on her.
—I need to talk to you.
Nell took a step back, her mind confused. Confusion quickly turned into worry.
—What do you want?—she asked, taking another step back.
As Emmett didn't come any closer, she observed the space around him. He was alone, but it could be a trap.
—I want to tell you the truth.
—I already know the truth—she said sharply. She tried to keep her emotions from overflowing—You're a Vampire.—She moved away a little further—You and your family are killing innocent people and...—
Emmett approached more quickly but stopped as soon as he saw how scared she was.
—No, that's not how it is. We don't hunt humans, only animals.
Nell swallowed.
—So it was true?. You're a vampire?
He frowned.
—You said you knew.
—Just so you contradict my absurd theory or make fun of me!—She sighed and put her hand to her head.
Suddenly, the silence was sepulchral. She had the feeling that the temperature had dropped more than a hundred degrees; or was it her who turned pale to that level. Perhaps for discovering an inevitable truth: Emmett was a vampire. And she felt disoriented in every sense. What was going to happen now?. Would he drink her blood until he drained it completely, or was he really telling the truth and he didn't feed on people?.
Another sigh. There was only one way to find out.
—Tell me more—she pleaded desperately, not caring what he said.
He glanced at her quickly, startled by the change in her voice.
—What do you want to know?
—Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people— she suggested, her voice still shaken by desperation. Her eyes were watery, and she fought against the sorrow that was trying to take over her.
—I don't want to be a monster— he explained aloud.
Nell paused.
—And the disappearances in Seattle? What's your connection to them?
—We have nothing to do with that. Those are other vampires. All my family wants is to stop them.
She blinked, feeling like her lungs suddenly stopped working.
—Other vampires?
She stepped back to lean against a tree and slide down to the ground. Emmett approached, worried, and for the first time, she didn't push him away.
—I don't know if I can deal with this— she muttered, dismayed.
—Yes, you can— Emmett sat down beside her, and she tensed up a little—I know it can be overwhelming at first to discover the truth, but I assure you everything will be okay. You will be okay.
She knew he meant to reassure her, but she didn't feel any calmer. She closed her eyes for a moment.
—Are you saying that I have to get up every day and pretend that I don't know what lurks out there?
—No. But remember we're out there too. And we're not going to let anything bad happen to you.
He meant his family. The Cullens.
Nell opened her eyes and looked up. His splendid face was inches from hers. She could appreciate his striking features and his whitish skin. She knew it was an unnatural beauty and that's why she felt drawn to him. However, she also knew it was for something else. Something she still hadn't been able to decipher. She blinked, totally dazzled. She was only able to move when he leaned towards her.
—I still have a lot of questions to ask you.— she pointed out, looking at her feet.
He smiled at her.
—And I will answer them all. But not tonight. You need to rest.
She raised her gaze, crossing the darkness of the shadows to see him. Under the dim moonlight, his eyes looked black but sprinkled with stars.
Emmett stood up and held out his hand.
—Come on, I'll walk you home.—he said, his voice calm as he kept his gaze fixed on her.
Nell was very confused, and she was very scared, but, somehow, every time she looked into his eyes, she felt safe. Maybe she had gone crazy, or maybe it was a supernatural power of vampires. But whatever it was, it worked. Maybe too much.
She took his hand. She perceived his coldness even with the gloves on. Still, she didn't let go. She held on tightly to avoid falling, and for a moment, she stayed there, standing against him. Breathing.
—Separate your legs—he said, his voice velvety and unintentionally seductive.
—Wh...?
He didn't let her finish. With a maneuver, he placed her on his back.
—What are you doing?!—Nell alarmed, not understanding.
—We'll get there faster this way.—He turned his face back towards her—Hold on tight.
After saying that, Emmett began to move between the trees at galloping speeds. As if a fuse had been lit and it was fired like a rocket. Nell shrieked and closed her eyelids; the wind made her eyes sting. When she felt him stop, only then, did she open them. She thought she was going to faint and certain nausea ran through her.
She stumbled a little when she touched the ground, but he held her by the waist.
—Are you okay?
Nell saw that frown and that worried expression, and hated the fact that they still had an effect on her.
—I'm fine—She took her gaze away from him to rest it on her house. It was right across the street, and the lights were still on. Everything was unintentionally normal. It felt like waking up from a dream.
—I thought about leaving you in your room. But since it's your first time, I didn't want to be too rough.
"And that's where the normality ended," she thought.
She tried to leave her joking and cheeky tone aside, and turned to face him.
—Tell me one thing— she asked.
—Yeah?
—Tonight, when I had gone into the forest. Did you follow me there? Or did you know that I was going to be in that place for some specific reason?
Emmett weighed the answer.
—No to the first. Yes to the second.
Nell paused again.
—How?—she wanted to know.
Somehow, her question made him smile, but he didn't answer. Then she remembered: he wouldn't say a word.
—You better go inside. It's cold—Emmett recommended.
Exasperated, she huffed.
—Do you promise to explain everything to me?
—I promise.
She was silent for a few moments, and then nodded her head.
—Go. Your brother is worried.
When he said that, Nell turned to see the house. She could see Steve sitting on the kitchen table, with a plate of untouched food. She advanced to the door and, before opening it, turned to say goodbye. However, Emmett was already gone.