AN: Advance chapters in my Patreon and KoFi.
~~
3RD PERSON'S POV
Esme Cullen had a dangerous weapon, and it wasn't her vampire strength or immortal beauty. No, it was her cookies.
Robin wasn't sure how to explain to anyone outside her family that their vampire matriarch had been babying her for the past few days—no, weeks—with endless trays of gooey chocolate chip cookies and pans of baked macaroni so rich it probably violated some health code. And Robin, being a half-siren, half-vampire anomaly, could actually eat and enjoy all of it. Not that Esme was taking no for an answer anyway.
I love my mother...
"Sweetheart, you've barely eaten three plates," Esme cooed, sliding another dish of macaroni in front of Robin.
Robin blinked at the plate like it personally offended her. "Mother… I'm immortal, not a bottomless pit."
I swear, I love my mother... Ugh...
Esme smiled sweetly. "Nonsense."
Wait, I'm married now, I have a 'PERSON'.
Robin shot a pleading look at Rosalie, who was lounging elegantly on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Rosalie didn't even glance up. Traitor.
Carlisle, on the other hand, had decided to bond with Robin in his own way: science. Which was honestly worse?
"So, Robin," Carlisle began, adjusting his glasses in that I'm about to ask you invasive personal questions way, "have you noticed any physiological changes since the conception vision Alice shared with you and Rosalie?"
Robin almost choked on a cookie. "Daaaaad, you can't just say conception event like it's a science fair project. It sounds too clinical... well, I guess... You are a doctor... but still... Ew..."
He smiled kindly. "But it is, in a sense. Your ability to impregnate vampires is unprecedented. If we could study it—"
"Oh, yeah, let's put that on a lab report: 'Subject A bit Subject B, results pending.' Real professional."
Carlisle chuckled, undeterred. "If we understand how it works, perhaps we could help other vampires who wish for children. And possibly avoid the war..."
Robin shifted uncomfortably. If I were a character in one of those fanfictions I've read, she thought bitterly, people would be screaming, 'Why won't you just tell them the truth?!'
Yeah, sure. Let's just tell her immortal vampire family that she was reincarnated, that they were fictional characters in her last life, and Rosalie wasn't even supposed to be with her. Oh, and let's not forget how she knew all their dirty laundry from books and movies.
"That's a one-way ticket to 'Robin's on fire because Jasper snapped her neck,' thanks."
Not that Jasper would ever hurt her, but still. Vampires were smart, dangerously so. And they had eternity to interrogate her.
"I'm a good secret keeper but a terrible liar. If I told them I was a reincarnator, it'd be like giving Esme a new recipe and expecting her not to bake it immediately."
So, yeah. Not happening.
~~
The Cullen patriarch and matriarch stayed with them for over a year, which for vampires was basically a long weekend. Soon enough, Emmett and Isaac joined the chaos brigade.
The women—Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Robin—happily conscripted the men into being their personal chauffeurs for shopping trips. Edward, somehow, had been dragged in willingly.
"You dress like a grandpa," Alice declared, hands on her hips.
"I do not," Edward argued, offended.
Robin smirked. "Bro, even Dad dresses better than you. Carlisle. The man who literally lived through powdered wigs."
[AN: It's a real thing; it was used to hide balding. I think we also have it in our time still.]
Carlisle, overhearing from the other room, simply hummed in agreement.
Emmett cackled. "Bro, just let them dress you. It's fun."
Isaac Chimed in. "Carlisle's style is vintage classic... Yours is just vintage. Give up."
And so, Edward was dragged into a whirlwind of shopping bags and fabric swatches, Alice and Robin relentlessly replacing his wardrobe.
Even Emmett joined in, happily flexing in whatever ridiculous outfit they threw on him. Jasper, ever the calm observer, just leaned against a wall, watching it all with mild amusement.
"I've survived worse," Jasper muttered when Alice started measuring his inseam.
---
Esme, in her eternal mom-mode, tried to teach Rosalie how to make Robin's favorite recipes. The kitchen became their battleground.
"Rosalie, you can't threaten the dough."
"I can if it doesn't cooperate."
"Sweetie, it's not alive."
"It will be when I'm done with it."
Robin peeked in, blinking at the flour-dusted Rosalie and the overly patient Esme. "Should I… be worried?"
Esme smiled. "Not at all, dear. Rosalie's learning."
Rosalie scowled, slamming the rolling pin down. "The dough is being stubborn."
Robin backed away slowly. "Cool, cool. I'll just… be over here. Far away from the impending gluten homicide."
Meanwhile, Carlisle and Alice painted quietly in the corner, listening to the rest of the family jam out.
Edward plays the piano. Jasper is strumming a guitar. Isaac on bass. Emmett is pounding the drums.
Robin, naturally, took up her violin and vocals, much to Edward's quiet irritation.
"You're off-key," Edward murmured.
Robin grinned, deliberately playing a sharp note. "No, you're off-key."
Edward's eye twitched.
~~
More than a year passed like that, and eventually, Esme and Carlisle decided it was time to return home. Robin had suggested the next destination for their travels, forgetting one tiny detail.
"Damn," Robin muttered, "I forgot we don't have a house there yet."
Esme laughed softly. "That's why we're leaving early, dear. We'll get everything built and ready."
Carlisle added, "We'll also speak with Nasu and the Quileute tribe to solidify the treaty."
Robin rubbed the back of her neck. "Right, right. Good idea."
Esme kissed her forehead. "Be safe, okay?"
Robin snorted. "Mom, I'm half-vampire, half-siren. I'm literally built for danger."
"That's exactly why I'm telling you to be careful."
Fair point.
~~
The rest of the family stayed behind for another two years, causing as much chaos as possible.
Robin, Isaac, and Emmett led the charge, dragging Edward and Jasper into their schemes. Alice bailed them out half the time with her visions, and Rosalie paid their way out of trouble the other half.
They made a pact to avoid using their gifts to make traveling more "interesting."
Result? Jail.
"Hey, Rosie?" Robin grinned sheepishly through the bars. "So, funny story—"
Rosalie sighed, pulling out her wallet. "How much is bail this time?"
~~
By 1993, Robin finally remembered her original plan to visit Arizona. Alice had been conveniently suggesting other destinations for years, but now it was just Robin and Rosalie again.
So, off to Arizona they went.
It was sunny, too sunny, but Robin didn't care. They stayed indoors during the day, and Robin handled any morning errands. Being half-siren had its perks.
One night, Robin was craving pizza.
"Babe, can you get in line for me?" Robin asked, eyes glinting with mischief.
Rosalie raised a brow. "Why can't you?"
"Because I need chips. It's a combo meal."
Rosalie sighed but got in line anyway.
Robin strolled toward the convenience store, but then she noticed her.
A small, scrawny girl sitting outside, nose buried in a book. Completely oblivious.
But Robin wasn't.
She spotted the white van lurking too long at the curb. Spotted the woman with the plain, trustworthy face heading toward the girl.
Robin exhaled slowly.
"I swore to Rosalie I wasn't gonna get into trouble this time…"
And yet, here she was.
Trouble had found her anyway.
~~
AN: Dun dun duuuuuun! Any guesses? There have been power outages in my area, so it's been a hassle.
Thanks for those comments and powerstones, I really, really appreciate it. It keeps me going. haaaaaah... I really want to keep doing this.
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that you wanna join, and I or some of the friends we already have there will send you the link. Were all harmless! 😶😌
https://ko-fi.com/emphie
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