Keika woke up to the sun glaring through the palace windows—and immediately regretted opening his eyes.
"Good morning," Leonhart announced, striding in with sparkling teeth and a grin that could cause property damage."Why am I awake?" Keika muttered."Engagement photoshoot!" Leonhart replied cheerfully. "Today, we immortalize our bond!"
"BOND?! I'M NOT YOUR SPOUSE!" Keika groaned, burying his face in his hands.
Behind him, the tigers were polished to perfection, the rabbits were wearing miniature suits and dresses, and the birds… were wearing tiny bow ties and squawking.
"Oh gods," Keika muttered. "I look like a daycare center exploded."
Scene: Outfits and Insanity
Leonhart produced elaborate costumes for Keika.
"You will wear this royal ceremonial robe!" he announced.Keika stared at it. It was… shiny, glittery, covered in feathers, and far too long.
"No. Absolutely no. This is a nightmare," Keika muttered."You will look divine," Leonhart purred."I look like a glittery baked potato," Keika deadpanned.
A rabbit hopped onto his shoulder.
"You may need a tiara, My King," it squeaked."I'm not a king, stop calling me that, and yes, you're insane!"
Scene: The Harem of Chaos Prepares
The tigers were now "bodyguards," wearing tiny armor that clinked as they moved.
"Protect my King!" one roared.
"Stop calling me that!" Keika shouted.
The rabbits formed a "flower corridor," hopping nervously and occasionally tripping over themselves.The birds hovered above with a makeshift camera rig, squawking directions.
"Smile! No, that's a death glare! Relax, relax!" Keika yelled.
Scene: The Photo Shoot Disaster
Leonhart tried to pose romantically beside him.
"Keika, take my hand, and let me gaze into your eyes.""I will not look into your eyes while trying not to suffocate under the weight of three tigers and twelve rabbits," Keika muttered.
The tigers, misunderstanding the concept, tried to "frame" him by sitting directly on his robe.The rabbits flung flower petals… directly into his mouth.One bird landed on his head and refused to leave.
"Perfect!" Leonhart exclaimed."PERFECTLY MURDEROUS!" Keika screamed.
The photographer — a small, overly serious bird with a monocle — squawked:
"Move left! No, upwards! Smile… or at least stop screaming!"
Keika raised an eyebrow.
"This is not a photoshoot, this is animal warfare."
Scene: The Nobles' Misunderstanding
Outside, the palace courtiers and nobles watched the "engagement shoot."
"Truly, our Saint's grace even commands beasts," whispered one."He is divine," another said.
Keika rolled his eyes.
"No. I am not divine. I am traumatized. I'm the human equivalent of a cautionary tale."
Leonhart took this as a good sign.
"See? Even he agrees his power is real!"
"…I do NOT agree!" Keika shouted.
Meanwhile, a tiger swatted a vase off the balcony.
"DISASTER!" the servants screamed."I told you," Keika muttered.
Scene: The Climax of Chaos
By mid-afternoon, the photoshoot had escalated to:
Rabbits hopping into the lens.
Birds dive-bombing the royal banners.
Tigers attempting martial poses on furniture.
Keika lying on the floor, robe torn, sipping tea while muttering sarcastic commentary.
Leonhart, meanwhile, was unbothered.
"This is perfect! Truly, nothing could capture the spirit of our union better!"
"…Spirit? I have no spirit left," Keika muttered.
A rogue bird, trying to get a "better angle," collided with a tiger, sending both into the fountain.Keika sighed.
"I have survived kings, thunderbirds, and a harem of deadly fluff. Why am I still alive? And why is this considered 'romantic'?"
Leonhart leaned over, still smiling.
"Because it's magical.""No. It's illegal," Keika said.
Scene: Epilogue of Destruction
By sunset, the palace gardens looked like a battlefield:
Flower beds trampled
Water features flooded
A few nobles unconscious from stress
Keika sat on a broken bench, robe half-torn, holding a rabbit on his lap, and a tiger paw on his shoulder.Leonhart presented the photographer with a thumbs-up.
"Wonderful shots! The chaos truly captures your majesty's power!"
"…I am not a majesty," Keika muttered."…Also, I hate this world," he added.
The tigers purred.The rabbits squeaked.The birds squawked.
"And yet," Keika sighed, staring at the horizon, "I somehow love them all."
Leonhart grinned.
"Tomorrow, we practice dancing for the engagement ceremony!"
"…No. Absolutely no. I'm escaping to another dimension," Keika muttered, slowly sliding off the bench.