Keika groaned.
"Good morning," he muttered, opening his eyes to sunlight streaming through the enormous palace windows."…Why am I awake?"
Behind him, the tigers were standing perfectly at attention, rabbits were hopping in a chaotic line formation, and the birds hovered in midair, wings buzzing.
"Today is dance practice!" Leonhart announced, all teeth and sparkles."Dance practice?!" Keika groaned. "I barely survived a photoshoot without losing my sanity!"
"Nonsense," Leonhart said cheerfully. "It's romantic! You, me, and our… harem of devoted companions!"
Keika froze. "Harem… companions?"
The red-eyed tiger bowed.
"They await your leadership, My King. Shall we begin?"
"…I'm not a king," Keika muttered."…Also, I am allergic to ballroom etiquette," he added.
Scene: A Human Woman Appears
Just as Keika tried to disappear behind a particularly large tiger, a human woman appeared at the palace door. She was tall, elegant, and clearly not impressed.
"So… this is the 'Saint of Fluff'?" she said, nose wrinkling in disgust."Uhh… yes?" Keika muttered, unsure whether to flee or apologize."You look… covered in fur and feathers. And there's a rabbit on your shoulder. Really?"
Keika swallowed.
"…Yes. Really.""I've heard of heroes, I've heard of saints, but… this is… horrifying," she said."Glad we're on the same page," Keika muttered deadpan.
The woman folded her arms.
"No way am I joining your harem. You're… you're literally friends with tigers and birds. Ew."
"…That's the point," Keika said."…My harem does NOT include human women," he added firmly."Huh. Good. Glad we clarified," the woman said, backing away slowly."Yes," Keika muttered, relieved. "We all survived the first human interaction today."
Scene: Ballroom Disaster Begins
Leonhart, oblivious to the tension, clapped his hands.
"Now, let's begin! Keika, you lead the dance!"
"…I don't dance," Keika said flatly.
The red-eyed tiger growled, ready to support him.
"I've led armies. Surely you can lead tigers and rabbits in… rhythmic stepping?"
"…I've never tried," Keika muttered, staring at the floor.
The rabbits hopped nervously.The birds hovered, flapping in chaotic formation.The tigers… looked majestic, but ready to annihilate anyone who got in their way.
"…This is going to go horribly," Keika said.
Scene: Ballroom Catastrophe
Step one: attempt a basic waltz.
Keika grabbed the largest tiger's paw.
"Okay… left… no, right… wait, are we moving forward or backward?"
The tiger stepped on his toes.The birds squawked in panic.One rabbit tripped and collided with another, sending them both flying into a candelabra.
"…Perfect," Keika muttered. "I am already dead."
Leonhart twirled gracefully—alone.
"See? You could be so romantic!" he said."Romantic is not being crushed by a tiger and showered in petals at the same time," Keika muttered.
Scene: Keika's Harem Revealed
The system pinged.
[Harem Update: Confirmed Members]
Red-Eyed Tiger: Protective Bodyguard Type
Snow Tigers x2: Fluffy Attack Squad
Storm Roc: Divine Air Support
Flock of Birds: Aerial Photographers & Chaos Agents
Rabbits x12: Cute Support & Sabotage Unit[Warning: Human women will refuse membership]
Keika blinked.
"…Yep. That's me. King of the Fluff, ruler of the insane, officially human-woman-free."
The human woman standing at the doorway groaned.
"Good. I did NOT want to be involved in this. You're… disgusting."
Keika waved.
"Thanks for understanding. Come back when you have fur or feathers. Then we can negotiate."
"Never!" she shouted, storming off.
Keika sighed in relief.
"…Harem problem solved. Now only… literally everything else remains."
Scene: Final Ballroom Chaos
Keika tried to teach the tigers, rabbits, and birds proper waltz steps.
One tiger swatted the chandelier.
A rabbit hopped on Leonhart's head mid-spin.
A bird tried to perch on Keika's nose.
"THIS ISN'T ROMANTIC! THIS IS WARFARE!" Keika screamed, flailing.
Leonhart, smiling like an oblivious fool, clapped.
"Beautiful! You truly bring out the spirit of the dance!"
Keika groaned.
"Spirit? My spirit just died."
By the end of the day, the palace looked like a battlefield.Keika collapsed onto a bench, rabbit hopping onto his chest, tiger lying across his legs, birds perched on his shoulders.
"I hate this life," he muttered."And yet… I kinda love it," he added quietly.
Above, the Storm Roc circled majestically.
"…Great. Even the sky is judging me now."