Kōichi gave Aqua an irritated tap on the head, cutting off her attempt to scam them out of money.
"Iris, sneaking out on your own is a serious problem."
Kōichi looked at the little princess before him, her eyes shining with anticipation, and sighed helplessly.
"But you really did save us back there. And since you're already here, I can't exactly leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere."
"Yay! I knew Kōichi-sama was the best!"
Iris cheered and immediately threw herself against Kōichi's arm. The cold composure she had shown while cutting down the giant bear moments earlier had completely vanished.
"So for the next few days, I'll be joining your Party and going on adventures with all of you!"
"Ooh! Her Royal Highness is joining the Party! Is this what they call getting a ridiculously strong carry?"
Kazuma rubbed his hands together excitedly.
"Kōichi, let's hurry back to town! I can't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces at the Adventurers Guild when we show up with the princess... Wait. If the Royal Capital Guard finds out, aren't we going to get executed for kidnapping her?"
Faced with Iris's sparkling sapphire eyes, brimming with anticipation, Kōichi knew perfectly well that if she walked into town wearing a gold-trimmed cloak embroidered with the royal crest, it would take less than five minutes for Axel's gates to be surrounded by Royal Guards rushing over after hearing the news.
"All right. If you're going to play at being a commoner adventurer, then this outfit definitely won't do."
Kōichi sighed and rummaged through his backpack until he found a spare set of slightly oversized, rough-cloth adventurer's clothes.
First, he had Iris wrap her conspicuous Holy Sword tightly in strips of gray cloth until it looked like an ordinary fire poker. Then he draped a brown cloak, faded from repeated washing, over her petite shoulders.
To completely hide her far-too-distinctive moonlight-gold hair, Kōichi also put an old, slightly misshapen leather hat on her head and pulled the brim down low.
"Hehe, Kōichi-sama, do I look like one of those battle-hardened wandering swordsmen who keeps their true strength hidden?"
Iris spun around excitedly. The oversized clothes swayed loosely around her, but instead of giving her any intimidating air, they only made her look like a child wearing an adult's clothes. She was so adorable that it made you want to ruffle her hair.
"Yeah. You look exactly like a rookie who got thrown out of the guild because she couldn't pay her rent."
Kazuma delivered the jab from the side while wiping mud off his face.
"But seriously, as long as you don't open your mouth, that shabby look is actually pretty convincing. And by the way, Your Highness, as a commoner Adventurer, the moment you see a copper coin on the ground, you're supposed to dive for it. Make sure you remember that."
"Kazuma! Don't teach Iris bad habits!"
Darkness had finally recovered from her mental collapse. Looking at Her Royal Highness dressed as a commoner, she gave an awkward bow, the corner of her eye twitching.
"Your Highness... no, Iris-san. Although dressing you like this is terribly disrespectful, it is necessary for your safety... so please endure it. And if... if this coarse fabric rubs painfully against your skin, please tell me. I can bear that suffering in your place!"
"Not at all, Darkness! This rough texture actually feels really new and interesting!"
Iris happily took Kōichi's hand, completely unconcerned with proper etiquette.
"Then let's go! Axel must have all sorts of interesting things happening at night, right? Like those... legendary taverns that breathe fire, and Slimes running all over the streets?"
Kōichi glanced at Megumin, who was still groaning in the mud, then at Aqua, who was trying to piece her shattered Holy Water bottle back together, and shook his head helplessly.
With Megumin on his back and the runaway princess holding his hand, he led this extremely mismatched group toward the gates of Axel.
Under the moonlight, their shadows stretched far behind them.
Kōichi could already tell that once this group returned, the Axel Adventurers Guild was probably in for yet another uproar tonight.
When Kōichi pushed open the Adventurers Guild's heavy wooden door, thick with the smell of alcohol, a wave of heat mixed with the scent of cheap ale hit him in the face. The guild was brightly lit, and the noise inside was nearly loud enough to raise the roof.
"I'm telling you, that griffin was only 0.01 centimeters from my throat! But who am I? I'm Dust, Axel's strongest warrior! I dropped into a slide, went straight under its belly, then spun around and slashed it with my sword!"
Dust was standing on top of a table, waving around a griffin feather he had picked up from who knew where as he shamelessly boasted to a group of drunken rookie adventurers.
Just as his story reached its climax, he caught sight of Kōichi and the others entering through the door.
"Yo! If it isn't Kōichi! And Kazuma too! You guys are finally back!"
Dust leaped off the table and staggered over, laughing loudly as he slapped Kōichi on the shoulder.
"So? Did you see how incredible I was out there? Sure, there was a tiny accident at the end and I wound up hanging from a tree, but that was tactical. Tactical, you understand?"
His gaze quickly landed on Iris, who was holding Kōichi's hand beneath a large hood.
Even dressed in coarse cloth, Iris still gave off an unmistakably petite and adorable charm. No amount of disguise could completely hide it, and it instantly awakened the delinquent warrior's instinct to hit on her.
"Oh? Kōichi, now that's not very nice."
Dust leaned closer with a sleazy grin, completely oblivious to Darkness's murderous glare beside him. He casually bent down, trying to peek at Iris's face beneath the brim of her hat.
"Where'd you pick up such a cute little girl? Hey, kid, you've got no future hanging around with this bunch of penniless losers. Why not join yours truly, the great Dust? I'll even treat you to the most expensive... Ow!"
Kōichi simply stuck out one foot, catching Dust's unsteady step with perfect accuracy.
With a thud, Dust fell flat on his face right at Iris's feet.
"Dust, if you don't want to wake up in Axel's moat tomorrow morning, you'd better shut that filthy mouth of yours," Kōichi warned coldly.
Iris wasn't angry in the slightest. Instead, she hid behind Kōichi as if she had just discovered some rare and fascinating creature, peeking around him to curiously study Dust sprawled on the floor.
"Kōichi-sama, is this what you meant by 'Axel's unique local customs'? This big brother's performance art is really unusual."
"Pfft..." Kazuma struggled to hold back his laughter.
"That's right, Your Highness. This is an Axel specialty, the brainless thug warrior. Please make sure you never imitate him."
"Who are you calling brainless?!"
Dust scrambled to his feet, cursing, but before he could start a fight, he found himself staring straight into Darkness's eyes, which were blazing with fury and righteous indignation.
"Dust! Speaking so shamelessly to this... this distinguished Iris-san makes you a disgrace to all Adventurers!"
Darkness stepped in front of Iris, her hand already gripping the hilt of her sword.
"If you dare come one step closer, I'll... I'll show you exactly what a Crusader's punishment feels like!"
The other adventurers in the guild began looking over curiously, and whispers quickly spread through the room.
"Who's that little girl?"
"Is she a new member of Kōichi's group?"
"She looks so delicate. Can she really fight?"