Claire bit down hard on her lower lip, the knuckles of her sword hand turning white from how tightly she gripped the hilt.
In the end, with Lord Alderp forcibly intervening, she had no choice but to reluctantly return her sword to its sheath.
"This isn't over!"
Claire glared viciously at Kōichi Hayashi and Kazuma, her gaze lingering especially long on Kazuma's extremely punchable face.
"I'll personally investigate the Devil's trail! If I find out that you two are lying, I'll cut off your... and feed it to the Slimes! We're leaving!"
With the synchronized clatter of metal, Claire swept out of the reception room with the Royal Guard Knights like a crimson storm, leaving chaos in their wake.
Watching Claire disappear into the distance, the tension finally left Alderp's layers of flab. He let out a long breath and hurriedly pulled out a perfume-soaked handkerchief to wipe the cold sweat from his forehead.
"Ahem... Since Lady Claire has left, the two of you should return to your rooms and get some proper rest. Please, under no circumstances should you wander around."
Alderp's eyes shifted nervously, and there was an unmistakable urgency in his voice.
"I... I just remembered that the potted plants in the backyard need my personal attention, and I also have some matters concerning the territory to handle. I'm afraid I can't keep you company any longer. Excuse me!"
With that, the fat pig who normally became winded after walking just a few steps somehow turned around with astonishing agility and rolled out of the hall like a giant meatball, heading straight for the depths of the mansion.
...
The moment they returned to the luxurious guest room, Kazuma immediately dropped all pretense.
He threw himself onto the soft bed and burst into outrageously triumphant laughter.
"Hahahahaha! Did you see that, Kōichi?! We won! Not only did we get away completely clean, we even scored a high-ranking Knight's lace underwear for free! Did you see Claire's face when she wanted to chop me up but couldn't? That expression alone would make the perfect drinking snack!"
Kōichi Hayashi ignored Kazuma, who was writhing around on the bed.
He walked over to the window and recalled Alderp's incredibly guilty reaction from earlier. A cold smile appeared on his face.
"Idiot. We're only safe for now. Didn't you notice how strange Alderp was acting? That fat pig is definitely hiding something in the basement that he doesn't want anyone to know about. And there's a good chance it really has something to do with Devils."
Just as Kōichi Hayashi was considering whether to sneak into the basement that night and investigate, a light thud suddenly came from the half-open window.
"Well, well! You two great heroes certainly caused quite a commotion in the Royal Capital last night."
Along with the bright, pleasant voice of a young girl, a silver-haired Thief wearing a tube top and hot pants lightly jumped into the room.
A faint, charming scar marked the lower left side of her face, and she was looking at the two of them with an amused half-smile.
"Chris? What are you doing here?"
Kazuma sprang off the bed like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on and instinctively covered his crotch, even though the underwear had already been burned by Kōichi Hayashi.
"Wait! You're not here to arrest me, are you?! I'm telling you, that was the Devil's fault! It had absolutely nothing to do with me, Kazuma Satou!"
"Relax. I'm not interested in men's underwear, and I'm not interested in other people's trophies either."
Chris gave him a playful wink before turning toward Kōichi Hayashi, her expression becoming slightly more serious.
"I came to retrieve that dangerous Divine Treasure. Leaving something that can swap souls in the hands of two problem children like you just feels like an apocalyptic-level pervert incident waiting to happen. Last night's commotion was caused by it, wasn't it?"
Kōichi Hayashi looked at the girl before him, whose true identity was Eris, the Goddess of Fortune.
Without the slightest hesitation, he pulled the strangely shimmering necklace from inside his clothes and tossed it toward her as though it were garbage.
"Take it. Please, take it. This thing is nothing but a cursed troublemaker. I have absolutely no desire to experience the despair of having my Intelligence drop into the single digits ever again."
Kōichi Hayashi dusted off his hands in disgust.
"Hey! Wait! I haven't even used it to get into the women's bathhouse yet... Ow!"
Kazuma had barely started lunging toward the Divine Treasure when Kōichi Hayashi mercilessly kicked him into the corner of the room.
Chris caught the necklace securely and carefully inspected it. After confirming that it was undamaged, she gave a cute smile of relief.
"Thanks for cooperating, Kōichi! Eris-sama will definitely bless you!"
Chris carefully tucked the necklace into her clothes. Then she placed both hands behind her back, bent forward slightly, and leaned toward Kōichi Hayashi with a teasing smile.
"As for Kazuma... you'd better spend more time praying to the gods that Claire doesn't chop you to pieces. Anyway, I'm heading out. Have fun in the Royal Capital!"
With that, Chris turned around like an agile cat, leaped through the window, and disappeared into the bustling streets of the Royal Capital.
...
Once Chris's light-footed figure vanished beyond the window, the tense atmosphere in the room finally disappeared completely.
Kōichi Hayashi looked at the window, which was still swaying slightly, then glanced at Kazuma Satou, who was crouched dejectedly on the floor and digging through the gaps in the carpet in hopes that the Divine Treasure might have left behind some magical residue.
A dull ache throbbed deep inside Kōichi Hayashi's head after pushing his Intelligence to its limits for so long.
"All right, stop digging through the floor, Kazuma."
Kōichi Hayashi walked over to the enormous velvet bed, which was easily large enough for four people, and simply collapsed onto it.
It was so soft that he felt as though he were sinking into the belly of a Slime, drawing a contented sigh from him.
"After everything we've been through since last night, my SAN value is practically at zero. Right now, even if the Demon King's Army showed up at the front door, they'd have to wait until I've gotten enough sleep."
"Tsk. You sure know how to relax. What if Claire thinks it over, realizes something doesn't add up, and comes storming back here with her troops?"
Despite his words, Kazuma's body was far more honest. He climbed onto the other side of the bed and claimed a huge silk pillow for himself.
"And that fat pig Alderp was running faster than a rabbit just now. He's definitely gone off to do something shady. Are we seriously going to sleep here? What if that guy sacrifices us to a Devil while we're dreaming?"
"That's exactly why, to keep someone with EX-level Luck like you from getting kidnapped in his sleep, I've decided to put some basic security measures in place."
With his eyes already closed, Kōichi Hayashi moved one finger and traced a simple magic circuit through the air.
"[Wind Blade]... No, [Breeze Sensing]. I've set up airflow alarms around the door and windows. The instant anyone approaches, I'll wake up. Now shut up and sleep."
"Hey, Kōichi. Don't you think even the air in the Royal Capital smells like money?"
Kazuma rested his head on his folded hands and stared dreamily at the ornate chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
"Imagine living here forever. Eating expensive food every day, teasing some stubborn female Knight like Claire, and occasionally getting an audience with Her Highness Iris... This is exactly the kind of Fantasy World life I've always dreamed about."
"If your dream is to get chopped into pieces by Claire and fed to the dogs, then feel free to stay here and make it come true."
Kōichi Hayashi's voice grew weaker and weaker as he drifted between sleep and wakefulness.
"Don't forget... right now, we're supposedly victims who were possessed by a Devil. Until that Devil is eliminated, we're under house arrest... Zzz..."
"Tsk. What a killjoy."
Kazuma pouted.
Listening to Kōichi Hayashi's steady breathing, the nerves that had been stretched taut throughout the entire night finally gave out as well.
He rolled onto his side and muttered sleepily.
"Whatever. Anything can happen in a dream. Hopefully Chris gives me the necklace back tonight... Hehehe..."
Before long, the room was filled with alternating snores.
On that bright and sunny morning, the two heroes who had saved the Royal Capital were curled up without a shred of dignity beneath luxurious blankets, enjoying the brief peace they had earned through sheer shamelessness and outrageously convincing acting.
However, neither of them knew that deep beneath the mansion, inside a dark and damp basement, a certain lord was kneeling before a purple Magic Circle that gave off a nauseating aura.
His entire mass of flab trembled as he desperately pleaded for something.
Meanwhile, Claire was leading a squad of Knights through every street and alley in the Royal Capital, frantically searching for the supposed horned Devil.
She did not even spare the stray sheep wandering by the roadside.
Throughout the Royal Capital, an atmosphere both absurd and tense hung heavily in the air.
***
...
If you'd like to support my work and unlock advanced chapters, you can follow me on p-@-treon.
[email protected]/PinkSnake (50 Chapters Ahead for now).
You can also follow as a free member to read a few advanced chapters.
***