"Waaah! Help! This body can't run at all!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, clutched the trophy of justice tightly in his hand and forced his legs to move with everything he had.
For the first time, he truly understood Kazuma's usual suffering. His brain was desperately screaming at his body to go faster, yet his legs felt like they were struggling through a swamp. The sheer helplessness was enough to drive anyone to despair.
Just as Claire's fist, wrapped in dark red battle aura, was about to slam into the back of Kōichi Hayashi's head, a blinding burst of fire suddenly streaked in from the side.
It struck the lawn directly in front of Claire with pinpoint accuracy, blasting dirt and shredded grass into the air.
"Flame Jet! Heyya!"
Kazuma, occupying Kōichi Hayashi's body, elegantly lowered his hand, a few lingering sparks still dancing around his fingertips.
Thanks to the precise magical control provided by Kōichi Hayashi's body, he had somehow turned a simple household spell meant for starting fires into something with the destructive power of a small bomb.
"Hey! Kōichi Hayashi! What are you doing?! You're actually helping that pervert attack me?!"
The shockwave knocked Claire off balance. Covered in dirt, she turned around and stared at Kōichi Hayashi in disbelief.
"My, my, Lady Claire. How rude."
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, gave her a frivolous smile that could send anyone's blood pressure through the roof.
"That man is holding your reputation in his hands right now. What if you hit him too hard, he loosens his grip, and that adorable piece of fabric ends up hanging from the royal palace flagpole? I'm doing this for the sake of your good name."
With that, Kazuma snapped his fingers again.
"Create Water!"
Splash!
A massive column of water came crashing down from above.
But instead of drenching Kōichi Hayashi, it struck the dirt directly beneath Claire's feet with perfect accuracy.
The neatly maintained lawn instantly turned into a slippery patch of mud. Just as Claire prepared to charge again, her foot slipped.
"Ah!"
She went down in an utterly undignified fall.
"Nice one!"
Although Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, wanted nothing more than to beat the bastard currently making ridiculous faces with his own face, he had to admit that Kazuma's talent for dirty tricks was truly off the charts.
"Of course! The magic control in this body is smooth as silk! Not using it for pranks would be a complete waste!"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, laughed as he nimbly vaulted over a flowerbed. With another casual gesture, he fired [Wind Blade] and sliced through the torch held by one of the guards behind Claire.
"Hey, you useless bastard holding the underwear! Stop spacing out! As much as I'd love to watch this body get cut up, Her Highness Iris would be heartbroken if it ended up scarred! Hurry up and work with me. We're getting out of here!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, gritted his teeth.
Panting heavily, he waved the white fabric in his hand like bait.
"Lady Claire! If you want this piece of justice back, look over here! [Sensory Interference]... Wait, I don't have that skill! [Lurk]! [Lurk]!!"
Amid a terribly unimpressive cloud of smoke, which was really nothing more than dust Kōichi Hayashi had kicked up from the ground, he attempted to use Kazuma's skill to disappear into the shadows.
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, immediately understood what he was doing.
On the opposite side, he unleashed another [Flame Jet], sending a huge burst of fire into the sky like a firework and successfully drawing the attention of all the guards rushing toward them.
"Over there! Kōichi Hayashi is setting fires over there!"
"No! That pervert Kazuma is running toward the stables with Claire-sama's underwear!"
The entire area descended into complete chaos.
"Quick! Now's our chance!"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, shot past Kōichi Hayashi like a gust of wind. As he passed, he grabbed the back of the useless body's collar and simply lifted him off the ground.
"Carrying my own body feels disgusting, but after seeing how blissfully you sniffed that thing earlier, I suppose I can give you a ride!"
"Shut up! That was this body's instinctive reaction! I didn't choose to do that!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, dangled in midair like a cat, still tightly clutching the underwear in his hand.
Under the cover of darkness, the two somehow fell into an uncanny rhythm with each other and quickly vanished beyond the edge of the royal palace compound.
Only one anguished scream remained behind, rising from the muddy lawn with enough force to shatter the palace windows.
"GIVE ME BACK MY UNDERWEAR!!!"
...
The two raced through the night at tremendous speed.
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, pushed its superhuman Agility to the limit. Even while carrying another grown man, he moved as effortlessly as if he were strolling through his own backyard.
He did not stop until they ducked into a dark, secluded alley that smelled inexplicably of dried fish.
Kazuma suddenly came to a halt and tossed Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, onto the ground like a sack of garbage.
"Whew! That was amazing! Absolutely amazing! Messing with those arrogant Royal Guard Knights and making them run in circles feels even better than winning a gamble!"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, slapped his thigh excitedly.
The face that should have looked dignified and upright was now twisted into an unbelievably punchable grin in the darkness.
"Hey, other me! That deep breath you took back there was a masterpiece! I'd give you a perfect score! Come on, let me see the trophy. I still haven't properly studied the Royal Guard's defensive specifications..."
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, awkwardly climbed back to his feet.
His neatly groomed hair was now a complete mess, sticking out like a bird's nest.
Listening to Kazuma's utterly unrepentant laughter while feeling the burning in his lungs from this useless body, Kōichi Hayashi's eye twitched violently.
"Study my ass! You bastard, you completely flushed my reputation down the toilet..."
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, muttered curses under his breath.
Then he deliberately stumbled as though his strength had finally given out.
At the same time, his right hand quietly slipped inside his clothes.
His fingers touched the cold necklace, faint magical fluctuations pulsing from it.
"Oh? What's wrong? You can't even stay on your feet anymore? Looks like my body really does need some serious training... Huh? What are you touching?"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, immediately sensed something was wrong and started to jump backward.
But it was already too late.
Even trapped inside this pathetic body, Kōichi Hayashi had never lost the decisiveness of a top-tier Adventurer.
"GIVE ME MY BODY BACK!!!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, suddenly lunged forward.
Under Kazuma's horrified gaze, he slammed his thumb down on the strangely glowing gemstone at the center of the necklace.
BZZZ—!
A brilliant white light, even more intense than before, instantly flooded the narrow alley.
Kōichi Hayashi felt a violent pulling sensation deep inside his soul, as though his entire being had been stuffed into a washing machine spinning at full speed.
Three seconds later, the white light vanished.
Kōichi Hayashi's eyes snapped open.
The first thing he saw was his own pair of long, powerful, calloused hands.
He cautiously clenched one fist.
The overwhelming sense of strength and the clear flow of magic through his body immediately returned.
"Whew... Finally. I'm back."
Kōichi Hayashi let out a long breath.
The sudden clarity that came with having his Intelligence back made him feel as though he had been reborn.
"AAAAAH! My Divine Body! My High Agility! My Intelligence!!"
Across from him, Kazuma let out a heart-wrenching scream.
He dropped heavily onto the ground, his previously straight posture instantly collapsing as his familiar gloomy aura of uselessness settled over him once again.
"Who else were you planning to seduce?!"
Kōichi Hayashi walked over with a cold smile and looked down at the bastard rolling around on the ground.
At the same time, he casually brushed at the cloak Kazuma had worn until it was completely wrinkled.
"You should be grateful I switched us back when I did. Otherwise, tomorrow you'd be enjoying the view from the royal palace guillotine."
Just then, Kazuma suddenly noticed that he was still holding something soft and cool in one hand.
He looked down.
Resting quietly in his palm was the white lace underwear, still carrying the faint scent of lilies.
The air froze once again.
***
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