"Fine. Very well. Kazuma Satou, since you're determined to completely ruin Kōichi Hayashi's reputation, I see no reason to preserve what little dignity you have left."
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, slowly straightened up. His gaze turned unnaturally cold and piercing. It looked somewhat out of place on Kazuma's rather ordinary face, but the overwhelming air of depravity radiating from him instantly overshadowed the man opposite him.
"Lady Claire! Don't let this imposter fool you!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, suddenly raised his voice and shouted in an outrageously dramatic tone, even adding a slight sob for effect.
"The truth is, I, Kazuma, have always had a secret fetish! I love collecting the smelly socks worn by the palace guards, then sniffing them while shouting, 'This is the fragrance of the Royal Capital!' The only reason he's harassing you right now is because he thinks there must be something top-quality hidden inside your boots!"
"Huh?!"
Claire, who had been about to draw her sword, froze completely. The scabbard in her hand made an awkward, muffled thud.
She looked at Kōichi Hayashi standing before her, then at the disheveled Kazuma, and her mind immediately became trapped in a hopeless loop of logic.
"Oho! Pretty quick counterattack there, my sidekick!"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, was not angry in the slightest. Instead, he gave an excited whistle, reacting with astonishing speed.
"Since you're going that far, I can't afford to lose! Everyone, come and hear this! This man named Kōichi Hayashi spends every night hugging a pillow with Her Highness Iris's face printed on it, drooling while muttering, 'Hehe, little sister... hehe!' He even secretly embroidered the words 'I am Claire's dog' inside his underwear!"
"Y-You... What the hell are you two bastards talking about?!"
Claire's face had turned so red it looked ready to bleed. The sword in her hand trembled violently as she struggled to decide which of them to cut down first.
"I'm not finished!"
Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, gave a sinister grin. He casually reached into the nearby grass, picked up a pink handkerchief that someone had apparently dropped, and held it high above his head.
"Look! This is my prized possession as Kazuma Satou! I've actually been secretly in love with Dust this whole time! I was even planning to publicly propose to that little punk right in front of Axel's Adventurers Guild! The reason he's chasing me now is because he's afraid I'll reveal his love letter!"
"Whoa! That's dirty!"
Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body, refused to be outdone. He dramatically swept his cloak aside and struck an outrageously flashy pose.
"Then I'll reveal something too! I, Kōichi Hayashi, am actually a hardcore masochist! The only reason I work so hard to become stronger is because I dream of one day being pinned beneath the feet of the female Generals of the Demon King's Army and mercilessly abused! When I poked your shoulder guard earlier, I was actually hinting that you should kick me under the chin with the tip of your boot! Come on, Claire! Don't hold back! Trample me mercilessly with those iron boots!"
On the lawn beneath the terrace, two men wearing each other's bodies were now engaged in a shameless, deranged competition to destroy each other's reputations.
Claire stood between them, watching these two usually pathetic men viciously smear one another as though they had both been possessed by Devils.
At last, the final thread of her Knightly composure snapped.
"Enough... Both of you... YOU TWO HOPELESS PERVERTS!!!"
Claire unleashed a scream powerful enough to echo throughout the royal palace, and her silver battle aura erupted in an instant.
Before the sound of her scream had even faded into the night, Claire became a streak of silver lightning. Her longsword flashed with a bone-chilling gleam as she thrust it straight toward Kazuma, who was occupying Kōichi Hayashi's body.
It was a full-power attack from a Level 45 Knight. The air itself carried the acrid smell of magic scorching through it.
"Die! You two filthy creatures polluting the very air of the Royal Palace!"
Yet Kazuma, occupying Kōichi Hayashi's body, did not dodge.
His depraved soul, empowered by Kōichi Hayashi's formidable body, somehow gave rise to an extremely dangerous sense of exhilaration.
He spread his arms wide, wearing the kind of serene grin that made anyone looking at him want to slap him a hundred times.
"Come on, Lady Claire! Pierce this sinful body with your sword! If I can die beneath your iron boots, then I, Kōichi Hayashi, will have no regrets! Hahahahaha!"
"Hey! Kazuma! Dodge, you complete lunatic!"
Behind him, Kōichi Hayashi, trapped in Kazuma's body, nearly had his soul leave his body from sheer terror.
That was his body!
If Claire ran it straight through with her sword, then even if they managed to swap their souls back afterward, all Kōichi Hayashi would get was a freshly made corpse!
Under the pressure of the crisis, Kōichi Hayashi's thoughts became brutally simple.
He had to stop her.
By any means necessary!
In desperation, Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, thrust out his right hand. Kazuma's signature shameless skill immediately flashed through his mind.
And since he was currently inside Kazuma's body, complete with its terrifying EX-level Luck, the power of this particular move had, in a sense, already surpassed the laws of causality itself.
"Screw it! Steal!!!"
A flash of white light streaked through the air.
Claire had been charging forward with unstoppable momentum, the tip of her sword only centimeters away from the heart of Kazuma, in Kōichi Hayashi's body.
Then her entire body abruptly froze.
The murderous fury on her face vanished in an instant, replaced by a stunned expression so blank that it looked as though she had just been dropped into an icy abyss.
Plop.
A piece of white fabric, edged with delicate lace and carrying the faint fragrance of lilies, suddenly appeared in the hand of Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body.
The world fell completely silent.
Even the night breeze seemed to stop blowing.
Kōichi Hayashi stared blankly at the object in his hand.
Then, for reasons he would later desperately wish he could forget, his body moved almost on its own.
As though possessed, he brought the fabric up to his nose, inhaled deeply, and put on an expression of such blissful intoxication that anyone watching would have wanted to punch him.
"Haa... Just what I'd expect from a Royal Guard Knight. This scent of justice... It's so refreshing it sends a shiver straight through me."
"..."
Claire slowly lowered her head.
She glanced beneath her skirt armor, where she had suddenly begun to feel an inexplicable chill.
Then she slowly raised her head again and stared at the man wearing Kazuma's face, who was currently holding her intimate garment while looking like a complete pervert.
"I... I..."
Claire's entire body began trembling violently.
Her normally silver battle aura, overwhelmed by sheer humiliation, actually began turning an eerie dark red.
Her pupils lost focus, and faint, spine-chilling murmurs escaped her lips.
"I'll kill you... I'm definitely going to kill you... Whether it's Kōichi Hayashi or Kazuma... you two Devils... I'm going to cut both of you into pieces and feed you to the Slimes! AAAAAAH!!!"
Claire's dark red battle aura erupted like boiling magma.
She did not even bother retrieving the sword that had fallen to the ground. Instead, she unleashed a shrill roar of pure rage and lunged at Kōichi Hayashi, in Kazuma's body, like an enraged lioness.
"GIVE THAT BACK! No! I'm chopping off your hand! Then I'm going to stomp that disgusting face of yours into mush! AAAAAAH!!!"
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