Chapter 6: Quicksilver's Theme Song — Sweet Dreams
Night. Inside the cave.
Tony Stark and Yinsen sat across from each other, a backgammon board between them.
"You never told me where you're from." Tony moved a piece without looking up.
Yinsen studied the board, dice in his right hand. "A small village called Gulmira. It's a nice place."
"Got family?"
"I do." Yinsen nodded. "When we get out of here, I'm going straight to them." He paused. "What about you, Stark?"
Tony's hand hovered over a game piece. He picked it up, turned it between his fingers, and set it down on the board with a quiet click.
"I don't have family."
"No?" Yinsen looked at him — really looked at him. Then nodded slowly.
"So you're a man who has everything."
A beat.
"And nothing."
Tony stared at the board. Let out a breath that was almost a laugh. He looked up at Yinsen but didn't say a word.
BOOM.
The explosion shook dust from the cave ceiling. Both men froze.
Tony raised one finger to his lips. Quiet.
They listened.
Through the thick stone walls, muffled and distant, came the sounds of chaos. Shouting — frantic, panicked. "Enemy attack! We're under attack! Kill them!"
Then gunfire. A lot of gunfire.
And then — was that someone yelling?
"STAAAARK! WHERE YOU AT, BIG GUY?"
And underneath all of it... music?
Yinsen tilted his head. "It sounds like someone's here for you." A smile crept across his face. "Looks like there are people who care about you after all. Although... am I hearing things, or is that music playing out there?"
Tony shrugged, but something shifted behind his eyes. The first person who came to mind was Pepper.
"Maybe."
Thirty minutes earlier.
"Bark... there are a lot of living scents coming from the valley ahead." Deadpool Dog's nose twitched, locked onto something.
Ethan's eyes sharpened. "That's got to be the militant camp. Let's push through — I am not sleeping in this desert tonight."
"FINALLY!" Wade drew both katanas from the sheaths on his back and started spinning them like a deranged baton twirler. "Do you KNOW how long we've been looking?! These guys are about to learn what happens when you waste Deadpool's time! One more day out here and I would've been medium rare!"
"Forget you guys — I'm going ahead!" Pietro slapped his goggles down, all pretense of the "no powers" rule evaporating instantly. He'd been baking in the desert all day and his patience had hit absolute zero.
Whoosh. He was gone.
Ethan watched the dust trail disappear into the distance, sighed, and pulled a pair of tactical goggles from inside his coat. He looked at Wade and Deadpool Dog.
"See you in a minute."
Then he was gone too.
Man and dog stared at each other.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Wade hurled both swords into the sand and stomped on them. "TAKE US WITH YOU! Why doesn't ANYONE give me a convenient travel power?!"
"WOOF!" The dog barked in agreement.
No response. Just empty desert and the fading echo of footsteps.
Wade looked down at the dog. The dog looked up at Wade.
Wade picked up his swords, dusted them off, and started running.
"Come on, Wilson. We're hoofing it."
Ten minutes later.
A panting, wheezing Wade — with an equally exhausted Deadpool Dog at his heels — crested the ridge and found Ethan and Pietro casually leaning against a pair of boulders. Each had a bottle of Coke in hand. They were chatting.
"Here." Pietro dug into the rucksack and tossed two bottles toward man and dog.
Wade caught his mid-lunge, all prepared rage evaporating the instant the cold glass touched his glove.
Psssht. He cracked it open and chugged the entire thing without removing his mask, Coke streaming down the sides of his face.
While Wade rehydrated, Ethan pointed down into the valley below.
"See those soldiers with the red scarves? That's our hostile force — the ones who grabbed Stark." His finger traced a line to the deepest point of the canyon, where a dark cave mouth gaped in the rock face. "And that's where they're keeping him."
He turned to the group.
"Here's the plan. Wade — you and Wilson are the distraction. Draw their fire, make noise, be yourselves. I'll slip inside and extract Stark." He looked at Pietro. "As for you? Just play the music."
"That's... that's my whole job?"
"That's your whole job."
"BURRP. No problem." Wade wiped his mouth with the back of his glove.
Unfortunately, the belch echoed across the canyon like a foghorn.
Below, a guard's head snapped up. "Who's there?! WHO'S UP THERE?!"
Rifles swung toward the ridge. Soldiers scrambled into position.
Ethan and Pietro slowly turned to look at Wade.
Wade, without an ounce of shame, flashed them a peace sign.
Ethan closed his eyes. Took a breath.
"Well. We're made. Might as well do this loud."
He pulled his goggles down and grinned.
"Showtime. Hit the music!"
Wade drew both katanas and launched himself off the cliff edge with a flying leap. "YOUR DADDY DEADPOOL IS HERE! TONY STARK — YOU IN THERE, BUDDY?!"
Deadpool Dog pulled the pins on two grenades with his teeth, lobbed them downward — "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" — then produced two handguns from seemingly nowhere and jumped after Wade.
"ENEMY ATTACK! ENEMY ATTACK! INTRUDERS!" The camp erupted. Every weapon in the compound opened up at once.
BRATATATATATATATATAT—
Up on the ridge, Pietro put on his goggles. Reached into the rucksack. Pulled out a small Bluetooth speaker.
Pressed play.
And the world... stopped.
The shockwave from the grenades hung in the air like frozen cotton. Bullets floated mid-flight, their brass casings still tumbling in slow motion. Wade and Deadpool Dog were suspended in midair — Wade mid-swing with both swords, the dog mid-leap with a gun in each paw — frozen like an oil painting of the most ridiculous battle scene ever committed to canvas.
Then the music kicked in.
♪ Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun ~~~ ♪
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) -- the Eurythmics.
Quicksilver's signature song. The one Ethan had insisted on from day one, because in his previous life, there was no scene more iconic than Quicksilver moving through a frozen world to this track. Using superspeed without the soundtrack? That was like eating fries without ketchup. Technically possible. Spiritually wrong.
Ethan and Pietro exploded into motion — silver blurs streaking down the cliffside, past Wade and Deadpool Dog in a heartbeat.
Pietro — because he couldn't resist — stopped just long enough to rearrange Wade's frozen body. He crossed Wade's legs into a lotus position and carefully repositioned both katana tips so they pointed directly at Wade's own eyeholes.
♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ~~~ ♪
♪ Who am I to disagree ~~~ ♪
Ethan laughed. Then got to work.
He wove between the suspended bullets, flicking each one with a fingertip. Every round that had been heading toward Wade and the dog spun 180 degrees, now pointed back the way it came.
He knew the bullets wouldn't kill those two — healing factor and all — but why let them suffer if he could help it?
Then, moving from soldier to soldier, he unwound the red scarves from around their heads and used them to bind their hands. One by one. Assembly line.
♪ I have traveled the world and the seven seas ♪
♪ Everybody's looking for something ♪
He accelerated toward the cave, reaching the deepest chamber in a heartbeat. A massive steel door blocked the entrance.
Ethan raised his right hand. A faint red glow flickered across his fingers — Chaos Magic, courtesy of a certain friendship with a certain Maximoff.
He pointed his glowing hand at the door and slowly curled his fingers into a fist.
The steel groaned. Buckled. Twisted in on itself like a piece of taffy being wrung out by invisible hands.
♪ Some of them want to use you ♪
♪ Some of them want to abuse you ♪
CRASH.
The door collapsed inward.
Inside: two men, frozen in time. One had a faintly glowing circle embedded in his chest. The other wore a cap over a graying beard.
Tony Stark. And that must be Yinsen — the guy who was supposed to die in the original story.
Ethan's eyes dropped to the cave floor, where scattered pieces of unpainted metal lay half-assembled around a crude workbench. The skeleton of a suit of armor. The Mark I. Still in pieces. Nowhere near finished.
He exhaled with relief. Good. The timeline's still intact. Iron Man will still be born — he's just getting a little help along the way.
He looked at the two frozen figures one last time, confirmed their identities, and released his speed.
The world pressed play.