Drago:
Ria is gone, she's just gone. There's no light in her eyes anymore. She's so god damn robotic, and I'm clueless how to help.
I had to do something. She jumped off the battlements to die, and I barely caught her in time. I knew she would try again. What if we weren't there?
It wasn't just her; we had three precious babies to protect. I did the only thing I could think of that I absolutely knew would work.
I watched her. When I put that bracelet on her and told her what it's for, I watched everything in her go blank.
The guys understand why I had to do that, and they share my sad frustration. I mean, she's decided she'd rather die than be here, mated to us, and have our children.
I understand some of that stems from the situation with her family. I'm not sure what I could have done differently.
She had to know this was permanent, and literally forever. Her family could never find out about dragons. She would never age, so that's impossible to explain.
She would continue to leave, always wanting to return to her family, but again, they can never find out that dragons exist, and she is one.
There was no good option. At least we hoped this would be more of a clean break. Her family isn't out there wondering what happened to her. As far as they know, she's dead, so they can grieve her, not always wonder.
We are here for her; she has so many people who want to step in and help her, and be a family for her, not to mention 4 males who completely adore her.
I just honestly never thought she would want to die. I never thought that, to her, death would be the better option.
There's so much about her behavior I don't understand. We have seen some odd glitches in her reaction to situations. We have to figure out how to help her and what is driving all of this.
Do I understand her anger at us for what happened on that plane and for the situation with Natalia? Yes, absolutely. She is beyond justified in her feelings on that.
I can even understand her being upset by what happened with all of our dragons the night she found out about the pregnancy.
It was never our intention for that whole situation to happen. We had hoped we could help her get over the initial start of everything.
Then we could begin building a genuine relationship with her. We were attempting to control our dragon sides and not touching her until she wanted it. Perhaps that was fanciful thinking on my part, I don't know.
Cole has said there are underlying feelings and most likely trauma driving some of her responses. How do we help? Do we take her to a therapist or a psychiatrist? I don't know.
I have a gut feeling that if we can uncover the truth of her past, we will have the answers.
Right now, as we sit at the breakfast table, I watch her unenthusiastically move food around her plate, not actually eating. She is carrying triplets; she needs huge amounts of calories, which she is most certainly not getting. The medicine Dr. Paskal gave her was supposed to help, but it doesn't seem like it so far.
We are looking into bringing a specialist here to help. Dr. Paskal is a general practitioner, not a specialized OB. We have some contacts we are looking into.
Suddenly, she bends and gets something from the floor. I had noticed her carrying some things, but didn't think too much of it.
She hands me a notebook, and I take it from her, not sure what she wants me to do with it. I look down and open it.
There is a huge, detailed list. It's a list of furniture, paints, rugs, and bathroom fixtures, along with full details of how she wants to redo her cage. She doesn't call it her room, or even a room. She says for changes to my cage, fuck, do I address this?
I am slightly alarmed that everything she's listing is black. It seems rather dark. I promised her she could decide, though.
"I will get busy finding things, and have you approve the selections before we order them. I will also have our contractor come and speak with you about these changes. Will that work?"
She nods at me, but I choose to be encouraged that she gave me this. I don't like the aesthetic, but maybe she'll want to change it again soon.
She looks back down at her plate, and her long hair falls forward, curtaining her face. This is another change. She used to always wear her hair up; now it's always down. Her hair is amazingly beautiful, and I love seeing it down, flowing all the way past her ass, but I do wonder at the sudden, drastic changes.
Ria:
Natalia took me back to the boutique we visited the first day. She must be friends with the owner. I didn't shop; I already knew they didn't have what I wanted. So, I just sat in a chair by the changing rooms.
They kept trying to pull me into conversation and ask if I liked something, but I mostly ignored them. Occasionally, I would shake my head at something. That was the extent of my social interaction.
Next, we went to Zoe's boutique. When Zoe greeted us, she looked extremely leery, probably thinking I would freak out again.
This time, I just immediately walked past her, sat at the round table, and pulled out my sketchbooks.
She hesitantly came over and sat next to me. She started going over the designs and notes.
"Were you a designer before?"
I shake my head, so she asks, "Did you attend a design school or classes?"
Again, I shake my head, "These designs are remarkable. I want to pull out some fabric samples and go over specifics with you. Would that be okay?"
I nod at her. She smiles a bit hesitantly, gets up, and goes to another room. I can feel Natalia watching me from her chair, but I studiously ignore her.
Zoe returns with books and several bins balanced. She sets them all down on the table and sits back down by me.
She reaches into a bin and pulls out swatches of different colored fabrics.
"Only black, everything has to be in black. There are a few with silver or gold embroidery, but that's it. My one absolute demand is everything black."
I stare steadily at her to gauge her reaction. She studies me for a moment, then gently nods. She puts away the swatches she was pulling out and sets several bins on the floor.
She opens the book filled with cloth samples and turns to a section of all-black fabrics.
We spend quite a while going over fabrics, designs, embellishments, cuts, and everything. Then Zoe takes me to a private back room to do measurements.
"We can make a couple of the corseted tops have more room when the laces are let out to accommodate your pregnancy."
I freeze like a deer in headlights." Did you not realize that, as dragons, our sense of smell is extremely sensitive? You have a very unique sweet smell that lets our dragons, and thus us, know you are pregnant."
Well, that explains a lot. I think of the night Drago suddenly hugged me and smelled me. Then Cole checked my feet while taking huge breaths, as if he were smelling me. There was the lady in the café, Helena, who acted all weird and suggested the tea. Mary's all soft, motherly looks. So, they all could smell that I'm pregnant. That is still so incredibly freaky to me.
I end up nodding at her, but I leave it at that.
"We can discuss if you want to tweak some of your designs that would lend themselves to a maternity style. You would only need about 3, I'd imagine. We have a few celebrations coming up that will require formal attire."
I think about it, "It's triplets, so I will probably get big fast."
She stares at me in total shock, "Okay, then you will need more accommodating gowns."
She finishes with the measurements, and I get dressed again. Then we discuss which designs to slightly alter for maternity wear, and she shows me a couple she has designed. I tell her I like both of hers, and we talk about which fabrics I choose for her to use.
After all of that, we head back to the café. I occupy the same table as last time. My smell must have really amped up, because everyone goes nuts as I pass. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm grateful when Helena brings me a cup of tea and a plate of crackers without even asking.
Natalia was doing her social butterfly thing around the room. Everyone was talking and looking at me. I caught snippets of different conversations, and it seemed everyone was losing their fucking minds that I was pregnant.
I was intently staring into my teacup when the chair to my right pulled out. I didn't look up; I'd heard him greeting my guards and had seen him from the corner of my eye, and he was very heavy-footed when walking.
"So, now aren't you glad I didn't do anything the other day?"
He was fucking stupid!
I glared at him, and he actually looked a little surprised.
"Why the fucking hell would I be glad about that? Just because I'm pregnant? Oh, let me say it correctly, pregnant with my rapists' babies. Pregnant with my fucking kidnapping rapists' babies. Oh yeah, I have all sorts of fun feelings about that."
He didn't respond, so I continued. "I don't give a single rat's ass how enamored you all are with them. They drugged me, raped me, kidnapped me, are holding me captive, have ruined my entire fucking life, and ripped away every single person I loved. So, no, I'm not glad you all brushed all that away like it, and I am totally unimportant, except for the fact that I have a womb they can use. I have been reduced to an incubator and a whore. So, know that I will never forgive any of you, and I don't give a fuck, I'm immortal."
I know far more heard that than just him, and I don't care. They proved their character to me the second they put their eyes on me and chose to ignore reality in place of a fairy tale lie.
I went back to staring at my tea and ignored him. Natalia came and sat down. They talked to one another, and Helena took their orders. She brought me another cup of tea when she delivered their food.
I made sure I looked at no one. I had no desire to see how they felt about my tirade. I long for any way to get back at them. Can I find ways to work around this fucking shackle on my wrist?