"Mera naam Rasama hai…"
"Aur yeh meri kahani hai… ek aisi kahani jo shayad kabhi mukammal nahi hui."
Main hamesha se khamosh thi.
Log kehte the ke main kam bolti hoon…
lekin sach yeh tha ke main zyada mehsoos karti thi.
Mujhe bheed pasand nahi thi…
awaaz pasand nahi thi…
sirf ek cheez pasand thi — sukoon.
College ka pehla din tha…
Sab log excited the.
Har taraf hasi, awaazein, naye chehre…
Aur main?
Main ek corner mein baithi thi… apni kitab ke saath.
Tabhi…
"Tum yahan akeli kyun baithi ho?"
Maine sar uthaya…
Aur pehli baar use dekha.
Rehan.
Uski aankhon mein ajeeb si roshni thi…
jaise usse duniya ki koi tension hi na ho.
"Mujhe akela rehna pasand hai," maine seedha jawab diya.
Woh hansa…
"Achha? Ya phir tum logon se bhaag rahi ho?"
Mujhe uski baat buri lagi…
Lekin maine kuch nahi kaha.
"Waise main Rehan hoon," usne apna haath aage badhaya.
Maine haath nahi milaya.
"Rasama," maine bas itna kaha.
Usne sir hilaya…
"Interesting naam… bilkul tumhari tarah."
Us din ke baad…
Woh roz mujhe milta.
Kabhi library mein…
kabhi corridor mein…
kabhi bina wajah.
"Tum phir aa gaye?" maine ek din irritate hoke poocha.
"Main gaya kab tha?" usne muskurate hue kaha.
Mujhe uski aadat samajh nahi aati thi…
Lekin dheere dheere…
Mujhe uski presence ajeeb nahi lagti thi.
Ek din…
Main library mein baithi thi.
Bohot thak gayi thi… aur shayad udaas bhi thi.
"Tum ro rahi ho?"
Maine foran aansu saaf kiye,
"Nahi."
Rehan mere saamne baith gaya.
"Jhoot bolna bhi nahi aata tumhe…"
Main chup rahi.
"Dekho…" usne dheere se kaha,
"Main reason nahi jaanna chahta… lekin main yahan hoon."
Us din…
Pehli baar kisi ki baat ne mere dil ko chhua.
Uske baad sab kuch dheere dheere badalne laga…
Main uska wait karne lagi.
Uski baaton par halka sa muskuraane lagi.
Aur sab se zyada…
Main uski aadat si ho gayi.
Ek din…
"Rasama," usne mujhe bulaya.
"Hmm?"
"Tum kabhi hasti kyun nahi properly?"
Maine kaha,
"Mujhe zaroorat nahi lagti."
Woh thoda serious ho gaya.
"Phir main wajah ban jaunga."
Maine uski taraf dekha…
Pehli baar.
Sach mein dekha.
Uski aankhon mein mazaak nahi tha…
Sach tha.
Us din ke baad…
Maine thoda sa jeena shuru kiya.
Lekin har kahani itni simple nahi hoti…
Main jaanti thi…
Mere ghar wale, meri zindagi… sab kuch alag tha.
Mujhe apne liye decisions lene ki ijazat nahi thi.
Aur Rehan…
Woh azaad tha.
Ek din usne poocha:
"Rasama… agar main tumhe kho doon toh?"
Mera dil ek pal ke liye ruk gaya.
Maine dheere se kaha:
"Tum mujhe paaye kab ho… jo kho doge?"
Woh muskura diya…
Lekin uski aankhon mein halka sa dard tha.
Usne dheere se kaha:
"Main tumhe paana chahta hoon…"
Maine nazar jhuka li.
Mujhe darr lag raha tha…
Khud se…
Us se…
Aur us mohabbat se jo shayad meri nahi thi.
"Mohabbat bohot khoobsurat hoti hai…"
"Lekin har kisi ke liye nahi hoti."
"Aur shayad… main un logon mein se hoon jinke naseeb mein sirf ehsaas likhe hote hain… hasil nahi."