Chapter 1:
Darkness.
Once again.
I had closed my eyes so many times before.
As a human. As a demon. As something that did not even have a name.
And every time, I thought it was the end.
But this time…
I remembered.
When I opened my eyes, I was only a baby.
The world was bright. Too loud. Too warm.
My body was small, weak, unable to move the way I wanted. My hands trembled as if they did not belong to me.
But my mind…
My mind was old.
Too old.
Fragments of memories flickered through my thoughts. Wars. Skies filled with fire. Cities made of metal. Wings of light. Horns of shadow. Lives so different that they barely seemed to belong to the same existence.
And then… darkness again.
The memories faded.
Only a feeling remained.
A feeling I could not explain.
This is not my first life.
The first years passed like a dream.
The forest was my world.
Tall trees whose crowns filtered the sunlight. The rustling of leaves in the wind. The scent of earth, rain, and moss.
And the foxes.
They were my family.
I did not know how long I had been lying there as a baby. Maybe days. Maybe longer.
But a fox found me.
She could have ignored me.
Or killed me.
Instead, she stayed.
The fox was large, with thick red fur and intelligent golden eyes. Her cubs played beside her while she watched me for a long time.
I still remember the moment she approached.
Slowly.
Carefully.
I was too small to understand what was happening.
But I remember her warmth.
And the fact that I was no longer alone.
The fox raised me as if I were one of her own cubs.
I learned to crawl on the soft moss.
I learned to walk between roots and stones.
I learned to hunt or at least tried to.
The other fox cubs were faster.
Always.
They jumped over rocks, chased insects, and ran through the undergrowth.
I fell often.
Very often.
But every time I lay on the ground, I stood up again.
The fox always watched me when that happened.
One day she sat in front of me while her cubs rested beside her.
I was about five years old.
She looked at me for a long time, as if deciding something.
Then she made a soft sound.
"Sa… to… shi."
I blinked.
Of course I understood her language. For me it was as natural as breathing.
I tilted my head.
"Satoshi?"
The fox gave a small nod.
It was not really a human word. Not exactly. More like a sound… a meaning.
But I understood.
That was my name.
Satoshi.
The years passed.
I grew bigger. Faster. Stronger.
But I was not a fox.
Sometimes I noticed it very clearly.
For example, when I stood on two legs while the others ran on four.
Or when I tried to speak.
Words.
They existed somewhere in my head.
Many of them.
Languages I had never learned.
But when I tried to say them, my mouth felt unfamiliar.
"M…a…"
The fox looked at me curiously.
I sighed.
"Ha…rd."
The words were there. But my body had to learn them first.
When I turned nine, I understood something important.
The forest was my home.
But it was not the whole world.
Sometimes I climbed a tall rock at the edge of the forest.
From there I could see far into the distance.
Fields lay there. Roads. Smoke rising from small houses.
Humans.
I knew what they were.
I even knew how they lived.
But that knowledge did not come from this life.
It came from memories that lingered like shadows in my mind.
And every time I thought about it, I felt a strange pull in my chest.
I have lived many lives.
Too many.
But why?
And more importantly…
Why do I remember now?
One morning I stood on the rock again.
The wind moved through my brown hair.
The fox came and sat beside me.
She said nothing.
She did not need to.
I looked down at her.
"I… go."
The words were still clumsy, but understandable.
The fox looked at me for a long time.
Then she asked calmly,
"Why?"
I stayed silent for a moment.
The truth was simple.
"Because I must understand."
The wind whispered through the trees.
I clenched my hands.
"The world… me… life."
I searched for the right words.
Then I finally said quietly,
"Why I live again… and again."
The fox stood up and took a few steps.
Then she turned back toward me.
Her eyes were calm.
Proud.
"Then go."
My throat suddenly felt tight.
I had lived millions of lives.
I had seen wars.
Seen kingdoms fall.
But this moment…
felt heavier than many of those.
I knelt down and gently pressed my forehead against her fur.
"Thank you… Mom."
The fox said nothing.
But she stayed there.
When I turned around, the forest lay silent behind me.
My home.
My first family.
Ahead of me was a world I needed to understand.
I took one step.
Then another.
And without looking back, I left the forest.
Not as a fox.
Not as a child.
But as someone searching for answers.
Somewhere out there…
was the reason for my million lives.
What is his purpose?