SF Chapter 196: Juno
A few days after the interview, the Juno premiere took place.
This premiere was smaller than those of Dani's previous three films, given its more indie nature and tighter budget.
Dani was with Prudence and Amanda Seyfried when Ellen Page, the film's lead actress, approached them.
"If it isn't the very cute actress from my movie," he said with a grin.
She politely extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Daniel. Ellen Page."
He waved his hand dismissively. "Just call me Dani. And this is my friend Amanda, and my girl Prudence." Dani made the introductions.
"You gave an incredible performance," he said much more politely, his expression turning more serious.
"Thank you." She nodded.
They talked for a while, with Amanda and Prudence joining the conversation as well.
After Ellen excused herself, Amanda turned to her friend. "What was that, Dani?"
"What was what?" He feigned ignorance.
"Don't play dumb," Amanda scoffed. "All of a sudden, you became a respectful and polite person."
"I could even say you turned into a normal person for a brief moment," she added, making a face as if she couldn't believe such a thing was possible.
"Wow, Mandy, you've lost all respect for me, huh?" he said, playfully squeezing her cheeks.
"There are two reasons," he began. "First, Page seems like the introspective and slightly timid type. I don't want to make people uncomfortable in a bad way."
"Second, I think she's a lesbian," he blurted out.
"What?" Amanda reacted.
"My gaydar went on while we were talking."
"You have a gaydar?" she asked with a mocking smile.
He snorted. "Of course I have a gaydar. I don't like wasting my time!"
"Besides, I'd want to punch a dude if he flirted with me. I figured it might be the same for lesbians. Again, I don't want to make people uncomfortable in a bad way."
"Hmm," Amanda murmured, staring at him.
"All the signs are there, Mandy," he remarked. "The most obvious one of all? She didn't even blink at my charming, handsome face. That alone is one huge signal!"
"Sure..." she muttered dryly.
Dani ignored her and continued. "Another big sign is that she held her gaze on you two for longer."
"Especially Prudence. But then again, my girl is so damn hot and sexy that even straight girls would do it," he said proudly.
Prudence kissed his cheek. "He's right."
"And, less importantly, one of the H&P employees saw Page kissing another girl," he finished, laying out the last piece of his hypothesis.
"Right! Less importantly!" Amanda repeated sarcastically.
"But don't tell anyone, Mandy. She still seems to be in the closet. A very tight closet. I only told you because, despite your busybody ways and dumb face, you're very trustworthy."
Amanda just pinched him.
"If you knew that, why did you flirt with her, Dani?" she asked.
"Oh, well, she could've been bi. I tried to see if I'd hit the jackpot. But unfortunately, I just found another fellow girl-only enthusiast."
"And... she doesn't seem like the type who'd be my bro..." he added regretfully.
Then Cam, with Lily in his arms, Mitchell, and Lexi approached them. The couple had been talking with her, especially Cam, who was a huge fan of The O.C.
Mitchell started to say, "Hey, Dani—"
But Dani interrupted him. "Pii, piii, piii," he made the sound of a detector.
"See, Mandy," he turned to her. "It's working perfectly!"
"Okay..." Mitch stared oddly at his brother. "What was that for?"
"I'll say it, but you need to be quiet about it," Dani remarked.
He explained what had happened.
"You know it well, bro. Closet stuff."
"Of course he knows," Cam chimed in. "Unlike me, he lived in there for twenty-two years."
Mitchell just gave his partner a small glare.
Prudence whispered to Amanda, "His brother was in the closet for years. His dad made a closet company."
"No wonder Dani likes to do it in there from time to time. Closets are a family tradition!"
Amanda stared at her, unfazed. "Four out of ten. Dani's still way better in the joke department," she said, making Prudence pout.
Meanwhile, Dani got an idea and took the teddy bear that was in his niece's hands. "My sweet Lily, I'm going to borrow this for a moment."
Lily just made a gesture that she wanted it back, but she didn't cry.
"Hello, everyone, it's Ted here," Dani said in another voice, doing some terrible ventriloquism. "It's me in another body. Can I join the LGBT community now?"
Only Prudence and Amanda understood what he was up to - the Ted idea.
Dani made the teddy bear look at his brother. "Hey, Mitchell, you could mess with your dad. Go to the company one of these days - he'll ask you, 'Mitchell, what are you doing here?'"
"Then you just reply, 'I just wanted to remember what it felt like to be back in the closet.'"
Cam just hid his smile.
"Or," Ted proposed another one, "you ask him, 'Dad, how come you never used me for some awesome marketing?'"
"'Pritchett's Closets are so great - my son lived in one for years!'"
Mitchell glared at him, took the teddy bear from his hand, and gave it back to his daughter. "Now you're just being offensive like Dad," he scolded.
"Hey," Dani exclaimed. "I was just making a little fun of you, Mitch. Think of it as payment for the awesome present I'm going to get you."
"Or, to be more precise, Prudence is going to get it for you."
Mitchell looked at the girl. "What present?"
Prudence thought for a moment. "Oh, you're talking about Madonna, right, Dani?"
She explained, "My birthday is on May 16. Dad invited her to perform at it. And on top of that, she agreed to talk to me about a career in music and stuff like that."
"We're going to meet Madonna?" Cam asked in a high-pitched voice before Mitchell could say anything.
"Yes, Cam," Dani confirmed, but then his tone became more serious. "I asked Prudence to let you guys join us."
"But this is very important to Prudence. You can talk to Madonna and ask her a few things, but it's her time."
"Don't worry, Dani. I," Mitchell stared at him, "we understand," he said, though it was clear that both he and Cam were practically jumping with excitement.
[Prudence and Dani commentary]
"My dad and I are still at odds over Dani..." Prudence said. "But it's not like we're really fighting for good."
"So, he's still going to throw my eighteenth birthday party at the end of this month."
Dani was making a face beside her. "Damn it! He invited Madonna. How the hell am I going to top a present like that?"
Prudence kissed him. "I believe in you, Dani."
That didn't change his expression. "You're just putting more pressure on me, Prudence."
She just chuckled.
[Commentary ends]
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