Gu Xu tripped over his own foot before he even made it past the doorway.
"Ah—!"
THUD.
He hit the ground face-first, arms flailing too late to catch himself. Dust puffed up around him as his cheek pressed into the dirt.
For a moment, he just lay there.
"…ow…"
He slowly pushed himself back up, wincing as he rubbed his nose. It wasn't the first time. It wouldn't be the last.
Gu Xu was used to falling.
At twelve years old, he was already much bigger than the other boys. Not taller—just… wider. His arms were thick, his belly soft and round, his movements always a little too slow, a little too unbalanced.
"I didn't even run…" he muttered, pouting slightly as he sat up.
He dusted off his clothes awkwardly, missing a patch on his back entirely.
From a distance, a couple of younger kids snickered.
"Look, he fell again."
"Fatty can't even walk!"
Gu Xu's shoulders stiffened.
He felt embarrassed and tried to sheepishly smile back at them.
The kids laughed harder.
Gu Xu's face turned red.
"I— I just slipped. Anyone could slip!"
But even as he said it, he knew they didn't believe him.
---
The village was already busy.
People moved around carrying baskets, arranging wooden seats, hanging decorations. Women were roasting meat, hunters sharpened their weapons, and elders arranged ceremonial items near the central bonfire pit.
Today was an important day as it was the pre–Coming of Age Ceremony.
Every year, those who turned fifteen would step forward and be recognized as youths on the verge of adulthood. It was not the full ceremony—but it was still important.
Important enough that Gu Xu wished he could disappear.
Gu Xu swallowed hard.
"I don't want to go…"
His voice came out small.
He stood outside his home for a long moment, staring at the village from afar.
His home… if it could even be called that.
A small, worn-down cottage sat at the edge of the settlement, its wooden walls cracked, its roof uneven. Compared to the other houses—especially those of noble families—it looked almost abandoned.
And yet, Gu Xu was not poor.
He was born into a noble bloodline.
More than that—
He was the second heir to the tribal throne.
Only one person stood above him in succession.
And that person was his cousin… the son of the current chief.
Which made Gu Xu's situation all the more humiliating.
A noble child…living like this.
But when people looked at him…
They didn't see anything except a clumsy, fat kid who couldn't even walk properly without tripping.
---
Gu Xu turned toward his house.
Gu Xu hesitated.
Then sighed.
"…I still have to ask."
He dreaded what was awaiting him.
---
Inside, the air was thick and sour.
The smell hit him immediately.
"Ugh…"
Gu Xu covered his nose.
It smelled like old drink. And something else… something stale.
At the center of the room, a large man slumped over a wooden table.
A half-empty calabash sat near his hand.
"...damn leeches…"
The man muttered to himself.
"…bleeding the tribe dry…"
This was Gui Xu.
Gu Xu's father.
---
Gui Xu slammed his hand roughly onto the table, which creaked loudly under its weight.
"That bastard Lei Xu…!" he slurred. "Sitting up there like he owns everything…"
He let out a bitter, savage laugh.
"Chief, my ass…"
His son stood near the door, fidgeting.
"…stealing taxes… doing nothing…" Gui Xu continued, voice rising. "And I'm the one people call useless?!"
He knocked the gourd over, spilling the last drops onto the table.
"Bunch of blind idiots…"
Gu Xu swallowed.
"…Father?"
No response.
Gui Xu kept mumbling angrily, barely awake.
Gu Xu shifted his weight with great effort.
His foot caught on a loose board.
"Ah—!"
He stumbled forward—
BANG!
His knee hit the table.
"Ow!!"
The table shook.
Gui Xu's head jerked up.
"What the hell—?!"
His bloodshot eyes locked onto Gu Xu.
"Damned bastard!"
Gu Xu froze.
"S-sorry!"
"Shit?!" Gui Xu barked. "You barge in here making this disgusting noise—what do you want?!"
Gu Xu flinched.
"I—I just wanted to ask something…"
"What?!" Gui Xu snapped.
Gu Xu hesitated.
His fingers twisted together.
"…the ceremony…"
Gui Xu's expression immediately darkened.
"Which ceremony?"
Gu Xu took a small step back.
"I need… um… some ornaments…clothes."
Silence.
Gui Xu frowned hard, and tried to think like as if he was trying to recall something difficult.
"Clothes?"
Gu Xu's face turned red.
"I just—I don't have anything to wear! Everyone else is going to—"
"—look better than you?" Gui Xu cut in sharply.
Gu Xu froze.
"…yeah…"
The word slipped out before he could stop it.
Gui Xu's expression twisted.
"You are not as important as you think you are. Nobody gives a damn", he snapped.
"Do you think wearing shiny garbage is gonna fix your face? Your fat body?"
Gu Xu's eyes stung.
"I didn't say that…"
"Then what the hell are you trying to say?!" Gui Xu roared.
Gu Xu flinched again.
"I just don't want people to laugh…"
The words came out small.
As simple and as childish as they were.
Gui Xu stared in shock at this spoiled brat for a second.
Then scoffed.
"They're gonna laugh anyway."
Gu Xu felt like he'd been punched.
"Why?" Gu Xu asked, his voice trembling. "I didn't do anything to them…"
For a moment, there was silence.
Then Gui Xu's face hardened.
"Because you act like this," he said. "Whining. Begging. Always trying to please people."
He pointed at him.
"It's pathetic."
Gu Xu's felt a ball of tears in his throat.
"I'm not—!"
"Yeah, you are," Gui Xu cut him off. "Running around worrying about what some little girl thinks of you."
Gu Xu's face went red.
"She's my betrothed!"
"Betrothed?" Gui Xu barked out a laugh. "You really think that girl wants anything to do with you?"
Gui Xu snorted.
"Use your eyes."
That was enough.
Gu Xu looked down, as if he had been defeated by those last lines.
---
He tried his luck again.
"Father, I cannot embarrass our Xu family at the ceremony," he said stubbornly. "I can't just go like this…"
Gui Xu's expression snapped.
He grabbed the calabash beside him and hurled it.
"Stop asking me for shit!!"
"Ah—!"
Gu Xu ducked.
CRASH!
The calabash exploded against the wall.
Pieces scattered everywhere. Some of them had cut his feet.
Gu Xu stayed crouched, heart pounding.
"Should've stood still ugly brat," Gui Xu shot back coldly.
Gu Xu stared at him in contempt.
Gui Xu's eyes narrowed.
"What? A fat useless brat like you should be grateful!"
He stood up suddenly, chair scraping loudly.
"You think I'm mean?!" he barked, stepping closer. "You think I've got it easy in the Xu family, huh?!"
Gu Xu instinctively backed up—
—and tripped over his own foot again.
THUD!
He landed on his back.
"Ahh—!"
Gui Xu looked down at him with disgust.
"Look at you," he sneered. "Can't even stand properly."
Gu Xu scrambled to sit up, face burning.
"Lei Xu....," he muttered angrily. "That bastard brother of mine steals everything, runs the tribe into the ground, and I'm the one people look down on!"
He kicked a stool aside.
"Whole tribe's rotten!"
Gu Xu watched him, confused.
He didn't really understand.
"…but what does that have to do with me?" he ventured to ask.
Gui Xu spun back around.
"It has everything to do with you!" he snapped. "You're acting like a damn joke in front of everyone! Embarrassing me in front of the Xu and Yu families."
"I'm not trying to be a joke!" Gu Xu shouted back, his voice cracking.
"Then stop acting like one!"
"It's not my fault I didn't inherit the family talent!" Gu Xu yelled.
The room went quiet.
"…is that so wrong?"
Gui Xu got up and looked for another gourd of beer, found have 3 of varying sizes and started drinking again.
For a brief second… something flickered in his eyes.
Then it disappeared.
"Yeah," he said flatly. "It is."
Gu Xu felt something in his chest sink.
"You are a useless brat," Gui Xu continued. "If you need clothes and ornaments to make people accept you, you're already worthless."
"That's not true!" Gu Xu shouted.
Gui Xui took a big gulp of expensive beer.
"It is," Gui Xu shot back. "And I'm not wasting money on your stupid insecurities."
Gu Xu wiped the sweat off his head. He had already done the best a twelve year old boy could do in this situation.
He pushed himself up clumsily, almost losing his balance again.
"I'll solve this problem myself!"
"Good," Gui Xu said dismissively, already sitting back down. "Now get out of my sight."
---
The sunlight felt too bright.
Too harsh.
Gu Xu walked a few steps away from the cottage before stopping.
His vision blurred.
And then—
Tears fell.
"I hate this…"
His voice cracked.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, but more tears followed.
"I hate this…"
Why did it have to be like this?
Why couldn't things be normal?
Why couldn't his father just… help him?
Just this once?
---
His thoughts drifted again to Yu Yunshang.
She was older than him.
Three years.
At twelve, that difference felt enormous.
She stood among the fifteen-year-olds with ease—graceful, composed, admired by everyone.
And him?
He was only included in this ceremony because of one thing.
He was an heir.
The tribe had lost many of its successors during the epidemic years ago.
Now, only two remained.
His cousin…
And him.
That was the only reason he was allowed to stand among them.
Not because he deserved it.
Not because he was ready.
But because there was no one else.
"Why won't he just help me?!" he shouted, kicking at the dirt—only to lose his balance.
He fell onto his knees this time.
"…stupid…"
He sniffed.
"Everything's stupid…"
---
After a while, the crying slowed.
Gu Xu sniffed, wiping his nose.
"…I still have to go…"
Even if he looked bad.
He couldn't just hide.
That would be worse.
"…I'll find something," he muttered.
---
He went back inside.
Carefully this time.
Avoiding the broken pieces on the floor.
Gui Xu had already slumped over again, muttering to himself.
Gu Xu ignored him.
Instead, he walked to a corner.
A small wooden chest sat there.
Old.
Dusty.
He knelt down—awkwardly, wobbling a bit before steadying himself—and opened it.
Creak.
Inside—
Faded old clothes, some were too small and others too big.
Gu Xu picked one up.
Dust puffed into his face.
"Cough—!"
He waved his hand in front of him.
"…these are terrible…"
He grabbed another.
"…this one's ripped…"
Another.
"…why is everything so ugly?!"
His voice cracked again.
But he didn't stop searching. Piece after piece.
It was all he had.
---
Outside, the tribe continued preparing.
Things were getting noisier as time came closer to lunchtime and the ceremony.
Families and fifteen year olds beginning to crowd the village center talking excitedly.
The ceremony was getting closer.
And Gu Xu sttill wasn't entirely aware—
That today,
Would mark the beginning of the end.