Gu Xu held the wooden cup with both hands.
The beetroot drink was dark red, almost like muddy blood. He stared at it for a moment while the other boys and girls around him laughed, talked, and drank without hesitation.
For a brief moment, he felt like he was standing inside a circle that didn't quite want him there… but hadn't pushed him out yet either.
So he raised the cup and drank.
The liquid tasted earthy and a little sweet. Not terrible. Not good either. Just… strange.
He drank slowly, taking small sips, watching the others from the corner of his eye.
Jian Xu drank calmly.
The other boys drank boldly, some even showing off by finishing quickly.
Yu Yunshang lifted her cup elegantly and drank with small, graceful sips, her posture straight, her movements refined. Even while drinking, she looked dignified.
Gu Xu quickly looked away before she noticed him staring.
For the first time in a long while, he felt like he was part of something.
Not accepted… but not completely excluded either.
They were all drinking the same thing. Standing in the same place. Participating in the same ceremony.
For once, he wasn't watching from far away.
He was inside the circle.
Maybe… when I grow up, things will get better, he thought quietly.
When I'm older, people will stop laughing.
He took another sip.
He finished the drink and lowered the cup, his hands slightly sweaty.
---
The Tribal Shaman stepped forward again, raising his staff.
"The youths who have drunk the blessed drink," he announced, "stand now with your betrothed partners!"
The boys and girls began pairing up.
Laughter, shy smiles, teasing whispers filled the air.
Gu Xu hesitated for a second before walking toward Yu Yunshang.
Some of the older boys noticed and started snickering.
"Look at him…"
"He's so lucky!…"
"Yeah, how does a guy like him get Yu Yunshang?"
"Must be nice being born noble even if you're useless."
Gu Xu pretended not to hear, but his ears burned red.
One taller boy smirked and said loudly, "Hey Gu Xu, try not to step on her feet, alright? That's if you can even see your own feet."
The boys laughed.
Gu Xu clenched his fists but said nothing.
Yu Yunshang stood there silently, her face calm and dignified, as if the insults had nothing to do with her. But her eyes were cold, and she didn't look at Gu Xu even once.
They stood side by side like strangers forced to stand too close together.
---
Chief Lei Xu and the Tribal Shaman began walking down the line of couples.
The shaman held a small wooden box filled with delicate hairpins made of carved bone and decorated with small beads.
"For each couple," the shaman announced, "the boy will place the hairpin into the girl's hair. This is a symbol that the Chief recognizes and accepts the engagement."
One by one, the boys took a hairpin and carefully placed it into their partner's hair while the crowd watched and smiled.
Some girls blushed.
Some boys looked proud.
Parents nodded in satisfaction.
It was a happy moment for most families.
Then Lei Xu and the shaman stopped in front of Gu Xu and Yu Yunshang.
The shaman picked up a hairpin and handed it to Gu Xu.
Gu Xu stared at it like it was something fragile and dangerous at the same time.
His hands suddenly felt clumsy.
Too big and rough.
He swallowed.
Yu Yunshang's maid quickly stepped forward with a small stool.
"Miss, please sit," the maid said softly. "So he can reach—"
"I don't need it," Yu Yunshang said.
Her voice was calm and polite.
Then, in front of everyone, she slowly lowered herself to her knees.
The crowd murmured.
Gu Xu did not need a stool anymore.
Now she was low enough for him to reach easily.
But the way she knelt… it didn't look like it was out of respect.
It looked like she was enduring humiliation.
Like she was being forced into something beneath her.
She was letting people see how pitiful her situation was.
Some people in the crowd began whispering.
"Poor Yunshang…"
"She has to kneel for him…"
"What a disgrace…"
Gu Xu stood there frozen, holding the hairpin, his face burning so hot he felt like his ears might catch fire.
"I… I didn't ask you to kneel…" he whispered.
Yu Yunshang didn't reply.
She just knelt there silently, looking straight ahead, her expression calm but distant.
Gu Xu slowly reached forward with trembling hands and placed the hairpin into her hair.
His fingers accidentally brushed her hair for a second.
She flinched slightly.
Just slightly.
But he felt it like a knife.
Behind them, Chief Lei Xu watched quietly.
The Tribal Shaman leaned slightly toward the Chief and whispered something into his ear.
Lei Xu's eyes narrowed just a little as he looked at Gu Xu.
---
After the hairpin ceremony, the music began.
Drums, flutes, and clapping filled the air as the couples began performing the Cheetah Folk Dance.
It was a lively dance with quick steps, turns, and spins meant to imitate the movements of a cheetah—light, fast, and agile.
Gu Xu was none of those things.
He tried to follow the steps.
Step. Turn. Step back. Turn again.
But after only a minute, he started breathing heavily.
His chest felt tight.
His legs felt heavy.
"Why am I so tired already?", he thought, confused.
He tried to keep up as Yu Yunshang moved gracefully around him, her steps light and precise.
He turned too slowly and bumped into another couple.
"Watch it!" someone snapped.
"S-sorry!" Gu Xu said quickly.
He tried again.
Step. Turn—
He stumbled slightly.
His vision blurred for a second.
His skin started to feel… itchy.
He scratched his arm quickly while trying to keep dancing.
"Why does my body feel so hot?
He took a deep breath, but it felt like he couldn't get enough air.
People around them began whispering.
"He's already out of breath?"
"So useless…"
"Lazy body."
"Can't even dance."
Gu Xu heard the words but couldn't respond.
He was too busy trying to breathe.
Yu Yunshang's expression grew colder and colder.
"Can you not step on my dress?" she said quietly, her voice sharp.
"I'm trying…" Gu Xu said between breaths.
His foot slipped again.
He reached out instinctively to steady himself—
—and grabbed Yu Yunshang's arm.
She lost her balance.
"Ah!"
She fell backward.
Her dress spread out as she hit the ground—
—and the edge of her dress touched one of the small ceremonial fire bowls placed around the dance circle.
WHOOSH.
The fabric caught fire.
For a split second, no one moved.
Then someone screamed.
"Fire!"
Servants rushed forward immediately, throwing water and stamping out the flames.
Yu Yunshang was pulled to her feet, her dress half-burned at the bottom.
The crowd fell into shocked silence.
Then the whispers started.
"This is inauspicious!…"
"Fire during the engagement dance…"
"That's a bad omen…"
"Very bad omen!…"
Some older women shook their heads.
"I knew it…"
"That boy… something is wrong with him!"
"Ever since he was born…"
"They say his mother brought misfortune too…"
Gu Xu stood frozen in the middle of the dance area, breathing heavily, his skin itching like ants were crawling all over him.
"I… I didn't mean to…" he said, his voice weak.
But no one was listening to him.
Yu Yunshang's father stepped forward, his face full of anger and indignation.
He looked like he wanted to shout at Gu Xu.
But he couldn't.
Gu Xu was still of noble blood.
So instead, he turned to the platform and bowed deeply.
"Chief Lei Xu," he said loudly, "today's events have shown that this engagement may bring misfortune to my daughter."
The entire crowd went silent.
"I beg the Chief," he continued, "please cancel this engagement before something worse happens."
Everyone held their breath.
Chief Lei Xu looked down at Gu Xu.
His warm, charming expression was gone.
Now his face was cold.
Gu Xu tried to speak.
"I… Chief… I…"
But his chest tightened again.
He started coughing.
His skin itched so badly he wanted to tear it off.
He couldn't breathe nor think properly.
He couldn't even defend himself.
Lei Xu watched him for a long moment.
Then he spoke.
"Very well," the Chief said calmly. "This engagement is hereby cancelled."
The words fell like a hammer.
Gu Xu felt like the ground disappeared under his feet.
Lei Xu looked at him with dark eyes.
"Gu Xu," he said, "I am very disappointed in you."
Gu Xu opened his mouth, but no words came out.
He was still struggling to breathe.
Still scratching his arm.
Still dizzy.
"I…" he tried again, but his voice was barely a whisper.
Lei Xu turned to a servant.
"Take him home," the Chief said coldly. "And inform Gui Xu that his son will receive the family discipline."
The servant bowed.
"Yes, Chief."
The servant grabbed Gu Xu's arm and began leading him away.
As Gu Xu was dragged through the crowd, he could hear the whispers.
"Useless…"
"Bad omen…"
"Just like his father…"
Gu Xu didn't look back.
His chest hurt, skin burned, and his eyes stung...
He didn't know if it was from the poison…
Or because he was trying very hard not to cry in front of everyone.
As he was led away from the lights, the music, and the people…
Only one thought repeated in his mind over and over:
Why does everyone hate me…
What did I do wrong…
And for the first time in his life, a small, painful thought appeared in his heart:
Maybe… it would have been better if I was never born.