The taste wouldn't leave.
That was the worst part.
Not the guilt.
Not the shame.
Not even the fact that he'd broken his sobriety.
It was the memory.
The memory of how good it had felt.
Just for a second.
Just one sip.
One stupid sip.
Yet hours later Sebastian could still remember it perfectly.
The burn in his throat.
The warmth that followed.
The brief relief.
The way the craving had gone quiet.
Even if only for a moment.
Sebastian sat on the couch staring at the television.
He wasn't watching it.
Hadn't been for the last twenty minutes.
His thoughts kept returning to the same thing.
The box.
The bottle.
The sip.
And the terrifying realization that he knew exactly where the alcohol was now.
He hated it.
Because before today, temptation had been abstract.
Now it had an address.
A location.
A cupboard in Lillian's bedroom.
A few steps away.
Close enough to reach.
The apartment door opened.
Lillian emerged from the hallway carrying freshly folded laundry.
"You're staring at the television again."
Sebastian blinked.
"What?"
"The same commercial has played three times."
His expression immediately gave him away.
Lillian sighed.
"Tired?"
"Something like that."
It wasn't entirely a lie.
He was exhausted.
Just not from the reasons she thought.
The restlessness was wearing him down.
The constant battle in his head.
The cravings.
The guilt.
Everything.
A little while later Lillian started preparing dinner.
The familiar sounds of cooking filled the apartment.
Pans.
Running water.
Cabinet doors opening and closing.
Normal sounds.
Comforting sounds.
Sebastian usually found them relaxing.
Tonight they barely registered.
Eventually dinner was ready.
The three of them sat around the dining table.
Ellie immediately began talking.
As usual.
She seemed physically incapable of remaining silent during meals.
Today's topic appeared to be a bug she'd seen at school.
Or possibly a flower.
Or maybe a bug on a flower.
Sebastian wasn't entirely sure.
Lillian somehow followed every detail.
A skill he'd never understand.
"And then it flew!"
"Really?" Lillian asked.
"Yep!"
"What color was it?"
"Purple."
Lillian nodded seriously.
"A purple bug."
"Yep."
Sebastian smiled faintly.
The conversation continued.
For a little while everything felt normal.
Then Ellie looked at Sebastian.
"Daddy?"
"Hm?"
"You found Mommy's bottles?"
Silence.
Complete silence.
Sebastian nearly choked.
Across the table Lillian froze.
The room suddenly felt ten degrees warmer.
Ellie looked completely unaware of the damage she'd just caused.
Sebastian's mind scrambled for a response.
Fast.
Very fast.
"What?"
"The bottles."
Ellie pointed vaguely.
"The ones you were looking for."
Lillian slowly looked at Sebastian.
Sebastian looked at Ellie.
Then at Lillian.
Then back at Ellie.
"Water bottles."
The words left his mouth immediately.
Far too quickly.
"Water bottles."
Ellie nodded.
"Yep."
Sebastian forced a smile.
"I couldn't find the spare water bottles."
Another nod.
"Yep."
Lillian looked between them.
Clearly unconvinced.
Not suspicious enough to press further.
But not entirely convinced either.
A tiny seed had been planted.
Eventually the conversation moved on.
Ellie started discussing cartoons.
Lillian joined in.
Dinner continued.
Yet Sebastian couldn't shake the feeling that he'd narrowly avoided disaster.
By the time evening arrived, he felt drained.
After dinner came bath time.
Then story time.
Then the nightly negotiation over bedtime.
A negotiation Ellie lost.
As always.
Eventually the apartment grew quiet.
Ellie was asleep.
The lights were dim.
And the cravings came back.
Stronger.
Much stronger.
Sebastian sat on the couch.
Then stood.
Then sat again.
Then stood again.
Unable to settle.
Unable to focus.
Unable to relax.
Lillian noticed immediately.
Of course she did.
She was sitting at the dining table reviewing work documents when she looked up.
Sebastian was pacing.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Finally she closed the folder.
"Okay."
Sebastian paused.
"What?"
"What is wrong?"
"Nothing."
Lillian immediately sighed.
The answer told her everything she needed to know.
Because Sebastian only said "nothing" when something was definitely wrong.
"Sebastian."
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
He looked away.
Lillian studied him carefully.
The restless movements.
The tension in his shoulders.
The exhaustion around his eyes.
Something was bothering him.
She just didn't know what.
After a few moments she decided not to push.
Not tonight.
Eventually she headed to bed.
Leaving Sebastian alone.
The apartment became silent.
Again.
And suddenly the temptation felt impossible to ignore.
His eyes drifted toward the hallway.
Toward Lillian's bedroom.
Toward the cupboard.
Toward the box.
No.
Sebastian stood.
His body moved before his mind caught up.
One step.
Then another.
Then another.
Soon he found himself standing outside her door.
Staring at the handle.
His chest tightened.
His hand slowly reached forward.
Just one drink.
The thought appeared immediately.
Not a sip this time.
A drink.
His fingers touched the handle.
Then froze.
A small voice echoed from down the hallway.
"Daddy?"
Sebastian immediately turned.
Ellie's bedroom door stood slightly open.
A sleepy face peered through the gap.
The sight hit him like a bucket of cold water.
"What happened?"
Ellie rubbed her eyes.
"Bad dream."
The craving vanished beneath a wave of guilt.
Instantly.
Sebastian crossed the hallway.
Knelt beside her.
"What kind of dream?"
"A monster."
The answer came immediately.
Of course it was a monster.
At three years old, most nightmares involved monsters.
Sebastian gently brushed her hair back.
"The monster's gone."
Ellie looked uncertain.
"Really?"
"Really."
She considered this.
Then held out her arms.
Without hesitation Sebastian picked her up.
Ellie immediately rested her head against his shoulder.
Trusting him completely.
The weight of that trust nearly broke him.
He carried her back to bed.
Carefully tucked the blankets around her.
Then sat beside her.
Ellie reached for his hand.
And held it.
As though making sure he wouldn't disappear.
Within minutes she was asleep again.
Peaceful.
Safe.
Sebastian remained there.
Watching her.
Feeling the lingering warmth of her tiny hand.
And suddenly the reality became painfully clear.
If he kept drinking—
This was what he'd lose.
Not Sovereign.
Not the money.
Not the mansion.
Not the reputation.
Them.
Lillian.
Ellie.
His family.
The realization sat heavily in his chest.
Long after Ellie fell asleep.
Long after the craving returned.
Because it did return.
Quietly.
Patiently.
Still waiting.
Sebastian eventually left the room.
Returning to the living room.
The apartment was silent once more.
Dark.
Peaceful.
Yet the battle inside him remained.
The temptation hadn't disappeared.
The danger hadn't disappeared.
Neither had the secret.
But now there was something else.
Fear.
Because for the first time Sebastian truly understood how easy it would be to fall.
And how much more he had to lose.