chapter 149
Haru had barely slept.
Even after Raiven's breathing had returned to its usual rhythm, Haru remained awake beside him, staring into the darkness.
He kept thinking about the name Raiven had whispered in his sleep.
Chang-seo.
It had been only a word.
One word, spoken without consciousness, without intention, without any explanation.
Yet Haru couldn't forget it.
He had spent years of his second life trying to convince himself that the past was something he could leave behind. His first life had ended with too many regrets, too many things he had never been able to fix. When he woke up again, he had promised himself that this time would be different.
He would make different choices.
He would hold onto the people he loved.
He would build a life that belonged to him.
And for a while, it had worked.
Then Chang-seo had returned.
Haru turned his head toward Raiven.
Even asleep, Raiven looked tired.
There were faint shadows beneath his eyes. His hair had fallen messily across his forehead, and one of his hands rested near Haru's side of the bed as though even in sleep he had reached for him.
Haru carefully covered that hand with his own.
He didn't know what Chang-seo had taken from him.
But he knew there had been something.
And now that he had seen the effect of that past on Raiven, he couldn't simply pretend it didn't exist.
Eventually, exhaustion pulled him under.
When morning came, the first thing Haru noticed was the empty space beside him.
He sat up.
For one brief, terrifying second, his heart raced.
Then he heard movement from the kitchen.
Haru walked out of the bedroom and found Raiven standing at the counter with two cups of coffee.
"You scared me."
Raiven looked over his shoulder.
"Why?"
"I woke up and you weren't there."
"I was making coffee."
Raiven smiled faintly.
"You worry too much."
Haru gave him a look.
The smile disappeared slightly.
Neither of them spoke about it.
Haru walked over and took the cup Raiven offered him.
The coffee was warm between his hands.
Raiven leaned against the counter.
"You didn't sleep much."
It wasn't a question.
Haru looked down at his coffee.
"Neither did you."
Raiven was quiet.
Haru wanted to tell him.
He wanted to say that he had heard his name in the middle of the night.
But the words wouldn't come.
Instead, he took a sip.
"I have to leave soon."
Raiven nodded.
"Do you want me to drive you?"
Haru looked at him.
"You have work."
"I can take you."
"You've already been picking me up every day."
"I don't mind."
Haru smiled.
"I want to drive today. " hqru told him as he gave him a peck on his cheek.
There was something comforting about the normality of the conversation.
It made last night feel almost unreal.
Almost.
But the memory remained.
So did the questions as he placed the cup down and went to the bathroom.
---
The set was louder than usual.
There was a rush of activity around them, with crew members preparing equipment and assistants moving between the different sections of the production area. Haru slipped easily into his routine.
Makeup.
Wardrobe.
Script.
Rehearsal.
Camera.
For a few hours, he managed to keep his mind occupied.
Then he saw Chang-seo.
He was standing near the monitors, speaking with the director.
Nothing about him looked different.
That same calm expression.
That same effortless composure.
Haru felt the tension return to his shoulders.
He hated that.
He hated that one person could walk into a room and change the way he breathed.
So he forced himself to look away.
He wasn't going to give Chang-seo that much power.
The morning passed without incident.
They filmed several scenes together, and Haru remained professional.
Chang-seo did the same.
But something had changed.
Haru was watching him now.
Not openly.
Not enough for anyone else to notice.
But he watched.
The way Chang-seo interacted with people.
The way he moved around the set.
The way he looked at Haru when he thought Haru wasn't paying attention.
There was something deliberate about him.
Haru couldn't prove it.
That was what made it so frustrating.
During a break, Haru stepped outside for some fresh air.
The noise of the set faded behind the door.
He leaned against the railing and closed his eyes.
He needed a moment.
The door opened behind him.
Haru already knew who it was.
"You always leave when things get loud."
Haru opened his eyes.
Chang-seo.
He turned around.
"Do I?"
"You did yesterday."
"And?"
Chang-seo stepped beside him.
"Nothing."
Haru looked at him.
"Then why mention it?"
Chang-seo smiled but it didnt reach his eyes.
For several seconds, they stood in silence.
Then Chang-seo spoke.
"How long have you been with him?"
Haru's expression hardened.
"why do you want to know?" haru asked his voice colder than he had intended.
Chang-seo didn't answer.
Haru folded his arms.
"If you're trying to find out something about Raiven, I am not the person to ask."
Chang-seo looked at him.
"I don't think he'd answer."
Haru felt something in his chest tighten.
"Then that's your problem."
Chang-seo looked out over the parking lot.
"He always was good at shutting people out."
Haru said nothing.
"Even when he wanted someone to stay."
That sentence landed differently.
Haru turned toward him.
"What exactly are you trying to say?"
Chang-seo looked back at him.
"Nothing."
"Stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Saying things and then pretending they mean nothing."
For the first time, Chang-seo's expression lost its pleasantness.
Only slightly.
"I think you're angry because you don't know."
Haru stared at him.
"Know what?"
Chang-seo didn't answer.
Haru stepped closer.
"What don't I know?"
Chang-seo studied him.
Then his expression softened again.
"That he wasn't always like this."
Haru's jaw tightened.
"Like what?"
"Quiet. Careful. Afraid of disappointing people."
Haru felt his pulse increase.
"You don't know him anymore."
Chang-seo's eyes remained on him.
"Maybe."
A pause.
"But I knew him when he was sixteen."
Haru froze.
The words seemed to suck all the air from the space between them.
Chang-seo continued before Haru could respond.
"I knew him before the fame, before everyone started pretending they understood him."
Haru's hands curled into fists.
Sixteen.
The age made something inside him turn cold.
He remembered that night he learnt of the true nature of their relationship.
But hearing Chang-seo say it so casually made Haru's stomach twist.
"You were an adult."
Chang-seo's expression changed.
"What?"
"You were older than him."
Silence.
Chang-seo looked away.
Haru watched him carefully.
"You used him. How can you talk so casually?" Haru could feel anger boiling inside him.
Chang-seo's jaw tightened.
"Then you know nothing."
"Maybe I don't but i know enough."
Haru's voice was low now.
" I know he was sixteen."
Chang-seo looked back at him.
Something unreadable passed through his eyes.
"You have no right to judge me." he seethed and for the first time Haru saw the true vile nature that Chang-seo had behind all his pleasantries.
"If you dare come anywhere near him I will make sure your life is hell."
The threat came immediately.
Chang-seo seemed surprised.
Haru stepped closer.
"I'mnot asking nicely."
For a moment, neither moved.
Then Chang-seo smiled.
It wasn't the friendly smile he had worn around the staff.
It was smaller.
Colder.
"You really love him."
Haru's eyes narrowed.
"That's none of your business."
"No."
Chang-seo looked toward the building.
"But it explains a lot."
"What does?"
"The way you look at him."
Haru didn't answer.
Chang-seo continued.
"You look at him like you think you can save him."
That struck a nerve.
Haru stepped closer.
"I don't need to save Raiven."
"Then what are you doing?"
"Loving him."
Chang-seo was silent.
Haru's voice remained steady.
"And if you're trying to make me afraid of him, or afraid of what happened between you two, it's not going to work."
Chang-seo studied him for several seconds.
Then he nodded.
"I hope it doesn't."
Haru frowned.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Chang-seo pushed away from the railing.
"Ask him."
He walked toward the door.
Haru turned.
The man stopped.
Haru fisted his hands enough that his nails threatened to beak through his palm.
Chang-seo looked over his shoulder.
He didnt say anything.
Then he left.
Haru remained outside.
His heart was pounding.
His hands were shaking slightly.
He hated it.
He hated that Chang-seo had managed to make him feel like a stranger in his own relationship.
More than that, he hated the uncertainty.
Because Chang-seo hadn't actually told him anything.
He had only given him fragments.
A sixteen-year-old Raiven.
A boy who drove for hours when he was angry.
A boy who disappeared.
A boy who had apparently learned to shut people out.
Pieces Haru didn't know about.
---
Haru returned to the set a few minutes later.
He forced himself to work.
He read his lines.
He followed the director's instructions.
He stood opposite Chang-seo and performed the scene perfectly.
At least, that was what everyone seemed to think.
The director even complimented him afterward.
"That's the intensity I wanted."
Haru nodded.
"Thank you."
Chang-seo said nothing.
Neither did Haru.
But something had changed between them.
There was no pretending anymore.
Not entirely.
Haru knew that Chang-seo had crossed a line.
Maybe not one that anyone else could see.
But Haru could.
When filming finally ended, Haru didn't wait for Raiven.
He walked outside and stood alone near the entrance.
His phone was in his hand.
He stared at Raiven's name.
He wanted to call.
His thumb hovered over the screen.
Then he stopped.
Not because he had changed his mind.
Because he realized something.
If he asked Raiven now, while he was still feeling heated the conversation wouldn't bare any fruit.
And Raiven deserved better than that.
So Haru put the phone away.
He would wait.
---
When Haru finally arrived at the apartment he didnt get out immediately instead he sat still for a while. Trying ho sort through his thoughts.
Then a few minutes later he finally got out. It was already past twelve when the shoot ended and he arrived at the apartment at 1.
When he finally got to the apartment he expected Raiven to When he finally got to the apartment he expected Raiven to be asleep or at least in bed but he was seated on the couch watching something but his mind was absent.
Haru placed his bag down and slowly sipped under Raivens arm wrapping it around himself startling Raiven.
"You are home." Raivennsaid warmly bending down to give haru a soft peck.
"What are you watching?" Haru asked as he snuggled tighter.