The morning of my wedding finally arrived without me how I felt about it.
The palace was busy early. People were walking around with things like clothes, jewellery and other things. Bells were ringing, but it wasn't for a party. Everything was happening because it meant supposed to.
I sat on my bed, looking at the light coming in. I was all alone.
Today, I as going to be married not to the man of my choice, not for love or joy but for peace.
I heard a knock on my door but before I could gather my thoughts..
"They are ready for you my princess", Liora said as she stepped inside.
Behind her came other women, seamstress, attendants, they are looked at me with pity and curiosity. They bowed and began their work without saying a word.
The gown they dressed me in was very stunning and beautiful.
The dress was pretty. It was white with silver embroidery on it. It shone when I moved.
It felt heavy on me.
Each pin pressed into place reminded me that this was real. That there was no turning back.
As they braided my hair and placed the crown upon my head, I stared into the mirror. The woman looking back at me was composed, regal and untouched by fear.
"She is ready", one of them said.
"But I don't feel ready", I said to myself.
"Everyone in the city has gathered," Liora said quietly as she fastened the last rope "They say it's the largest ceremony Aurelia has seen in years."
I nodded.
"They are proud of you and they belief you are saving them", Liora said.
That was the hardest part.
When I stood up the room fell silent.
"You look like a Queen",one of the seamstress said.
I smiled but inside me I felt like a sacrifice.
We walked a lot to get to the big hall. There were white banners and flowers everywhere, and they smelled strong. The guards stood up straight, and the nobles bowed as I passed.
My mother waited at the entrance of the hall.
She had black under her ceremonial cloth like she was sad. Only I saw it. Her hands were cold when she held mine.
"You do not have to be afraid", she said.
"I am not", I replied.
I wasn't lying. I wasn't scared no more. I just felt okay with it, I guess. Like I was gonna do it anyway.
The doors opened, the halls were filled.
There were pretty colored windows, and lots of people were sitting down. At the front was a special table with flags from Aurelia and Stonehaven.
Two lands one vow.
Music began, low and steady.
I walked forward alone.
My footsteps were loud. I didn't look at the people. I didn't look for someone to make me feel better, I only looked ahead.
Dane was waiting.
He wore a dark outfit, all serious. No crown or anything extra. He looked calm, like you couldn't tell what he was thinking. When he looked at me, he noticed me.
We stood facing each other with distance between us.
The officiant was talking, saying words about us being together and strong. It sounded muffled, like when you're underwater.
"Do you princess Amara of Aurelia, he said, "accept this union for the sake of your people and crown?"
"Yes I said", keeping a steady voice.
"Do you, Dane of Stonehaven, accept this union in honor and protection of both lands?"
"Yes I do", he replied.
They brought rings, a simple silver ones. I put his on his finger. His hand was warm. When he put mine on me, he touched me a bit longer.
The vows were spoken. Ancient words passed down through generations. Promises of loyalty, of defense, of shared fate and none of love.
When the final words were said, the officiant stepped back.
"By law and crowns", he declared, "you are now bound".
People clapped
Dane offered his hand for the world to see and I took it.
Together, we turned to face the hall. Cheers rose, bells rang, flowers were thrown at our feet. To them, this was a triumph buh to me, it was an ending.
The celebration that followed was big.
There were lots of tables outside. People were laughing and dancing and drinking wine. Everyone was happy and saying words like "Cheers to peace!"
Dane and I sat beside each others at the head table.
We played our parts well.
He spoke when spoken to and I smiled when expected. When he leaned close to murmur a response to a noble, the crowd leaned in with him, hungry for signs of affection.
None came.
At one point, he turned to me quietly. "You are holding yourself too tightly."
"I am fine", I replied.
"You don't have to pretend to me", he said.
"I am not", I said, I am only enduring.
He nodded as if he understood.
As the night fell, guest departed, the music became quieter and lights flickered.
When it was time to leave, Dane offered his arm again and I took it.
"The city expects us to retire together", he said.
I was shocked.
But this does not mean…..
"It means nothing just rest, he interrupted me. I will not force you to anything you don't want.
I looked at him to know if he was playing g around or he meant it but I found nothing.
We walked and didn't talk. We got to the big room where we sleep. The servants bowed and withdrew, shutting the door behind us.
The room was huge. Candles were almost out. The bed was in the middle, and nobody had slept in it.
I stopped , "so this is it", I said.
Dane took off his cloak. "This is the start," he said. "Not how we wanted it".
"You may take the bed", I said.
"There is a couch, I'll sleep there", he said.
"You do not have to pretend".
"I am not pretending", he said simply.
Every where became silent again
"I will not be your enemy unless you want me do", he added.
I do not know what I want, I said.
That's fine, he said buh tonight we rest.
He moved to the couch and laid down peacefully, fully clothed and turning his back to give me privacy.
I stood alone thinking, I was married and alone.
As I laid down a thought came to my head, this marriage has begun without joy and I don't know if joy would ever find its way into it.