". . .I am a noble from a lineage of horses that despises work. Thanks to King Asterium, I am here to bring joy to all of you!"
"You're a horse? But you look like a donkey."
Angel scratched her head as she questioned him.
"He's definitely a donkey. Just look at him."
Okito Kawasaki invited us to examine Donkey's species. . .
"His dirty coat, rusty horseshoes, short stature. . ."
While Okito described the beauty of our royal companion, Angel and the other member of their group quietly wrote everything down.
"Thank you for the compliments, peasants. Thanks to Okito, you finally understand true beauty. Ah, how delightful!"
After receiving such loving praise, Donkey took another sip of beer.
"Would you like anything else to eat?"
"Yes."
"Aiko, please don't charge anything else to the King's account."
When someone discovered what we had done, I wanted to be ten thousand miles away.
"Who's that holding a mannequin?"
"Don't ask me."
Introduce yourself, Dorian. This was no time to stay silent.
I gave him two gentle pokes.
"My love!"
Dorian placed Mortar on his lap, facing our new acquaintances.
"Tell our guests who you are. . ."
"Hoot! Hoot!"
An owl landed on the window.
"Love truly is beautiful!"
Angel wiped tears from her eyes with a napkin.
"Love can overcome any barrier."
Okito used the same napkin.
"We sincerely apologize for insulting your. . ."
Angel froze.
"She's his girlfriend."
Seraphine appeared out of nowhere and began combing Okito's hair.
"It's not here!"
"What are you looking for, Kaela? A demon's heart?"
The scissors were missing. . .
SNIP!
A severed strand of hair seemed to cry out in pain.
"Duck!"
I shouted.
SWISH!
Okito Kawasaki dodged Seraphine's silent scissors.
He had nearly lost all his hair.
"Oh! Is this the girl who left a dwarf bald?"
Okito picked up the strand that had suffered the fatal blow.
"I'm sorry, Okito. Seraphine can't resist cutting hair."
Damn it.
We had only just met these people, and my friends were ruining everything before the introductions were even finished.
"Here, Seraphine. Cut this instead!"
I handed her some loose strands from Donkey's coat.
Now only one disaster remained to introduce herself.
If Lyra started talking, we were finished.
"Lyra. . ."
"Lyra, my friend!"
Angel pushed me aside.
"Tell us more about how you forced your slaves to climb the mountain beside the city. Is it true they begged you to whip them?"
Ah, I had worried for nothing.
Lyra had already told everyone about my humiliation on that mountain.
What a gossip.
". . ."
The moment had arrived.
They would either run away or help us.
This was starting to feel like a psychiatric consultation. . .
"Will you help us?"
"Hoot! Hoot!"
Lyra was feeding the owl.
"Yes!"
"Ah, what a relief."
I had done it.
"I don't understand why you're so stressed."
"Angel, you don't travel with four walking disasters."
Come to think of it, all the adventurers here. . .
Near the fireplace, three archers were writing at a table. By the blacksmith, a group of dwarves gathered.
I had never seen such ugly dwarves.
"So, how can we help?"
"Okito, as you can see, I'm destitute. We have nowhere to sleep or even sit down for a proper meal."
I suspected beggars were better off than I was.
"How did you end up in such a state? Even the peasants live well here. Where do you think we came from?"
That confirmed what Aiko had told me earlier: everyone had come from elsewhere looking for a way to support themselves.
"I don't see any hardship here. We have excellent beer, food, and snacks. But something is missing. . ."
Donkey tossed a chicken bone onto the floor.
"Your coronation?"
"No. That's just a detail."
A detail?
"Then what's missing?"
Dorian held up a chicken drumstick as though it were a microphone.
"Women. Eduardo, come pick up this bone."
"ARGH! I'm not a dog, Donkey!"
CRACK!
Eduardo, who had been sulking in the corner, came over and stepped on the chicken bone.
"You're charging all of this to my father's account!"
He pulled out a chair and sat down.
"What belongs to the King belongs to me, and what belongs to me belongs to the King."
I couldn't let them start fighting again.
But how could I stop them?
"You came to this city and haven't visited the brothel?"
DING!
The magic word had been spoken to Donkey's followers.
"My friend, come with us!"
"Where? What are you doing? Let go of me!"
Dorian, Eduardo, and Donkey dragged Okito away.
The poor man grabbed a pillar, but they pulled him free.
". . ."
I was surrounded by girls.
Relax, Kaela. It wasn't as though you'd never spoken to girls before.
Why was I breaking into a cold sweat?
Lyra, Seraphine, Aiko—one of you, please say something.
"Now that the boys are gone, we can talk freely. Are any of you dating someone?"
Huh?
What kind of question was that, Angel?
I wanted to ask about the website.
"I'll only date the Demon King!"
"Do you want to kill him or date him?"
"To me, those are the same thing."
Of course. Angel didn't know that I was a man.
"And you, Kaela?"
The girls pulled their chairs beside mine and leaned so close they nearly kissed my cheek.
"I. . . Could somebody help me here, please. . ."
How was I supposed to get out of this?