I woke up staring at a ceiling that wasn't mine.
White popcorn texture. The kind that went out of style in like 2010. My ceiling was smooth black with recessed lighting because I wasn't a fucking animal.
Did I drink last night?
I blinked. Rolled the previous evening through my head like rewinding a tape. I'd gone to Melissa's place. Fucked her until she tapped out somewhere around round three. She'd done that thing where she tried to keep going but her body just quit on her. I remembered her passing out with her face pressed into the pillow, that satisfied little smile on her lips. Good times.
After that I'd thrown my clothes back on and hit the 7/11 down the street for a blue Gatorade because hydration was important and also because her fridge only had some kind of organic juice that tasted like grass clippings.
I got the Gatorade. Paid. Walked outside into the parking lot and then—
And then—
Nothing.
Blank space where the rest of the night should've been.
"What the fuck?"
A window popped into existence directly in front of my face.
Not a window. A glowing transparent screen that hadn't been there a second ago, floating in midair like someone had copy-pasted a UI element from a video game into reality.
[CONGRATULATIONS!]
You have been successfully transmigrated as ROME D'ANGELO in the web novel
Analyzing compatibility...
Analyzing soul structure...
Analyzing narrative position...
ANALYSIS COMPLETE
Difficulty Rating: SSS
Survival Probability: 0.2%
I stared at it.
"Yeah, no. Fuck off."
I waved my hand through the screen. It didn't disappear. My hand passed right through the glowing text like it wasn't even there.
MAIN QUEST: HAREM LORD
Objective: Replace the original protagonist and complete the Harem Lord ending.
Time Limit: 700 days
Reward: Return to your original world with all abilities and skills acquired
Penalty for Failure: DEATH
My brain did that thing where it tries to process information that doesn't make sense and just kind of... stalls.
Transmigrated. Web novel. Main quest.
I sat up. The bed was too soft. The sheets were dark blue, high thread count, the expensive kind. Not my sheets. My sheets were black because I had taste.
The room around me was clean. Organized. Minimalist in that way that screamed either interior designer or someone who'd never actually lived anywhere long enough to accumulate stuff. Big windows with the curtains pulled back showing a view of... palm trees? The ocean in the distance?
Where the hell was I?
The screen flickered.
Due to SSS-rank difficulty, you have been granted a STARTER PACK!
Would you like to open your Starter Pack?
[YES] / [NO]
"This is insane."
The screen just hung there. Waiting.
I looked around the room again. Checked my hands. Same hands. Same skin tone. I flexed my fingers and they responded exactly how they should.
Either I was having the most vivid hallucination of my life or something genuinely fucked had happened between the 7/11 parking lot and this moment.
"Fine. Yes. Open the damn starter pack."
The screen flashed gold.
STARTER PACK OPENED!
MAIN ABILITY ACQUIRED: ESSENCE DRAIN [SS-RANK]
Absorb essentia from others through physical contact. Efficiency increases with intimacy.
SUB-ABILITIES ACQUIRED:
VIRGIN KILLER [A-RANK]
Passive attraction amplification. Targets with little to no sexual experience are significantly more affected by your presence.
SPECIMEN [B-RANK]
Physique automatically optimized for peak aesthetics and performance. Immune to weight gain, muscle loss, and physical degradation.
HARD TO KILL [A-RANK]
Enhanced regeneration and immunity to disease, poison, and status effects. Fatal wounds remain fatal.
I read it twice.
"What the hell...?"
Essence drain. Virgin killer. SPECIMEN.
This wasn't just transmigration. This was some horny teenager's wet dream power fantasy.
And then I remembered.
Fat guy. Greasy hair. Smelled like old takeout and body spray. He'd been standing outside the 7/11 when I walked out with my Gatorade. I'd barely looked at him but he'd said something. Called me a piece of shit. Told me I'd get what was coming to me.
I'd laughed. Flipped him off. Kept walking.
And then everything went dark.
"That motherfucker."
But the name. Rome D'Angelo.
I knew that name. I'd heard it before somewhere and I couldn't place where.
I swung my legs out of bed and stood. The floor was cold hardwood. I was wearing boxers and nothing else.
There was a mirror on the far wall. Full length. I walked over to it and—
"Oh damn."
The guy staring back at me was gorgeous.
I mean I'd been decent looking before. Good bone structure, put in my time at the gym, knew how to dress. I'd never had trouble getting women's attention when I wanted it.
This was different.
This was the kind of face that made people do double takes. Sharp jawline. High cheekbones. White hair that looked natural instead of dyed, styled in a way that probably required zero effort because it just fell like that.
And the eyes.
Two different colors. Right eye grey like a storm cloud. Left eye green like a Heineken bottle.
I looked like I'd walked out of an anime.
My gaze dropped lower. Broad shoulders. Defined chest and abs without looking overdone.
And then there was the morning wood tenting my boxers.
I glanced down. Adjusted the waistband.
At least seven inches and I wasn't even fully awake yet.
"Okay. Specimen ability. I see you."
Another screen materialized in front of me.
STORY QUEST RECEIVED!
FIRST IMPRESSIONS AT COASTLINE HERO ACADEMY
Description: You are a transfer student at the prestigious Coastline Hero Academy located in Century City, California. As a new student entering in the middle of the academic year, it is critical that you establish your position within the academy's social hierarchy.
Objective: Have sex with a person who attends Coastline Hero Academy.
Reward: 2x GOLD GACHA TICKETS
Penalty for Failure: DEATH
TIME LIMIT: 72 hours
Accept Quest?
[YES] / [NO]
I read it again just to make sure I'd understood it correctly.
Have sex with someone. At a hero academy. Within seventy two hours or die.
"This is the most degenerate isekai bullshit I've ever seen."
I said it out loud but my finger was already moving toward the yes button.
Because what the hell else was I supposed to do? I didn't ask to be here. I didn't ask for some random parking lot wizard to shove me into a web novel with a death timer attached. But if the options were play the game or die, I was going to play the fucking game.
I hit yes.
The screen dissolved into golden particles and vanished.
I stood there in front of the mirror in my new body wearing nothing but boxers with my new face staring back at me, trying to wrap my head around the situation.
Transmigration. Hero academy. Harem lord ending.
My Pure Love Hero Diary.
The name clicked.
I'd read that. Or skimmed it. One of those feel-good romance web novels where the main character was some pure-hearted loser who worked really hard and earned the love of the perfect girl through the power of being genuine and never giving up. They'd been dating for months and the only thing her ever got was a kiss on the cheek. It was cute in a way that made me want to gag.
I remembered rolling my eyes at the summary and reading a few chapters before dropping it because nothing happened. Just dungeon training and longing looks and emotional support.
And now I was in it.
As Rome D'Angelo.
I pulled my phone out of... wait, where was my phone?
I looked around and spotted it on the nightstand. Sleek black case. I grabbed it and unlocked it with a fingerprint that apparently belonged to me now.
The home screen loaded. No password. Just straight into the phone.
I opened the photos app.
Scrolled back.
Pictures of this body at various locations. At a gym. At what looked like some kind of formal event in a suit. Leaning against a car that was absolutely not student-budget friendly.
And pictures with women. Different women. Always smiling. Always touching him somewhere. His arm. His shoulder. One had her hand on his chest.
I scrolled further.
More women.
"Oh you absolute piece of shit."
Rome D'Angelo wasn't the protagonist.
He was the playboy rival character who existed to make the main character look better by comparison. The guy who either died tragically or got humbled hard enough to cry in the third act.
I was the villain.
"Perfect. Just perfect."
I sat down on the edge of the bed and dropped my face into my hands.
Seven hundred days to complete a harem ending in a pure love story while living in the body of the character designed to lose.
"If you're listening, parking lot wizard, I'm going to find you when this is over and I'm going to make you regret every choice that led to this moment."
The ceiling didn't respond.
I stood up. Walked over to the closet and pulled it open.
Rows of expensive clothes. Designer labels. Everything organized by color and type like someone had taken the time to make it look good.
I grabbed a black shirt and dark jeans. Got dressed. Checked myself in the mirror again.
Still gorgeous. Still looked like the kind of guy who could walk into a room and ruin relationships just by existing.
A notification popped up in the corner of my vision.
Class begins in 90 minutes. Transportation has been arranged. Do not be late.
I grabbed my phone. Checked the date.
The semester was already a month in.
I was the transfer student arriving after everyone else had already formed their groups and decided who mattered.
And I had seventy-two hours to fuck someone or die.